You have a friend who seems to get mad at you all the time.
She gets upset over the smallest things, and it wears you out.
What’s the reason?
This article will help you figure out the exact reason why your friend is always mad at you.
1) She’s Emotionally Immature
This reason comes to the forefront because in most situations it will be at least a major contributing factor to the problem.
We all get angry from time to time. But when someone often struggles to control their emotions, it’s often a sign of immaturity.
It’s most common in younger girls and women, but many adults also remain emotionally immature throughout their lives.
There’s no denying that emotions can be powerful, and we’ll all feel overwhelmed by them at some point.
But as we grow, learn, and evolve as people, many of us mature enough to not unfairly spread our negative feelings to others.
Unfortunately, not everyone does.
Immaturity can come with a lack of self-awareness. If you can’t see her patterns of behavior, you won’t be able to analyze and hold yourself accountable.
So, she may be “blind” at that moment to her emotional motives, but she lacks the maturity and self-control to question her words and actions.
2) She’s “testing you”
Perhaps this reason can best be explained with the example of a young child.
Parents often refer to the “terrible years” to refer to this stage, when children of this age act out and test boundaries.
Some adult relationships experience something similar. People see what they can get away with.
They will do or say something to see how far they can push before their partner reacts.
They are testing the waters to see if they can get away with certain behaviors without consequences.
If they find themselves getting in trouble for their actions, then they’ve gone too far.
The same thing happens when people date.
A woman may be trying to see if she can get away with being harsh or cruel to her boyfriend. She wants to see if he will stand up for himself, or if she can step on him.
In some ways, you may end up being a metaphorical punching bag if she knows you will tolerate it.
If she tolerates it, it is her way of getting rid of her unchecked frustrations.
3) She seeks attention
Attention-seeking is doing something to get attention.
Even when the attention you are creating is negative on the outside, for some people the goal is simply to get attention.
If she doesn’t feel like she is getting enough positive attention from you, in her mind any attention will do.
She may cry, scream, and get angry, just to get your attention.
The irony is that when someone acts out and gets angry, rather than being arrogant or conceited, they are often deeply insecure.
They may have low self-esteem. And weirdly, they are trying to feel loved and cared for.
She may be doing everything wrong.
4) She has unrealistic expectations
Does she feel like everything you do isn’t good enough?
Maybe she gets annoyed with you for not texting her often, gets angry if you don’t call her right away, or gets annoyed if you don’t spend every second together.
She expects you to read her mind and know what she wants from you all the time.
Many of us unconsciously form unspoken expectations of our partners. And then we get really angry when they aren’t met.
The unfortunate problem is that many of us have false images of love and relationships, which leads to disappointment.
We expect our partners to give us things they can’t.
Have you ever wondered why love is so hard?
Why isn’t it what you imagined it would be when you were growing up? Or at least make sense of it…
When you’re dealing with a moody, overly angry girlfriend, it’s easy to feel frustrated and even helpless. You may even be tempted to give up and give up on love.
I’d like to suggest something different.
I learned this from world-renowned shaman Rhoda Yandy. He taught me that the path to finding love and intimacy is not what our culture has taught us to believe.
Many of us have been sabotaging and deceiving ourselves for years, preventing us from meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.
As Rhoda explains in this amazing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back.
We get stuck in terrible relationships or empty encounters, never really finding what we’re looking for and continuing to feel terrible about things like our partner constantly getting angry at us.
We fall in love with an idealized version of someone instead of the real person.
We try to “fix” our partners and end up destroying relationships.
We try to find someone who “completes us,” only to fall apart next to them and feel twice as bad.
Rhoda’s teachings have shown me a whole new perspective.
While watching, I felt like someone understood my struggles in finding and nurturing love for the first time—and finally offered a real, practical solution to creating a healthy relationship.
If you’re tired of relationships that disappoint and have your hopes dashed over and over again, this is a message you need to hear.
I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.
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5) She’s Spoiled
If she’s used to getting what she wants, she may get angry when she doesn’t.
In that sense, she’s using anger as a way to try to control you and manipulate you into doing what she wants.
The pattern she’s trying to establish is:
When I’m not happy, I’ll punish you.
Anger can be a tactic that people use in a relationship to try to get the upper hand. You may give in to trying to please her.
Anything for an easy life, right?
But it’s not that different from a teenager who throws a fit when they don’t get what they want.
It may be because she feels entitled. Instead of taking responsibility for her moods, desires, and needs, she falls into victim mode.
As a result, she can easily get frustrated and retaliate against you whenever she feels things aren’t going her way.
When she feels certain needs aren’t being met, instead of expressing them constructively, she takes out her anger negatively.
6) She’s Unsure About Your Relationship
This could be because she’s unhappy in the relationship.
I’ll be honest, in my younger years when I wanted to break up with someone, I started acting terribly towards them.
I didn’t have the maturity to deal with the situation. I didn’t know how to deal with the problems I felt were in the relationship.
So instead of being honest and communicating with you about what was going on, I expressed my frustration in other ways.
If she has doubts, her uncertainty may manifest itself by being angry at you all the time.
This is likely to be the case if she has recently changed her behavior towards you.
Things may have been good at first. You were getting along and having fun together. But now she’s getting mad at you for stupid things.
If so, it could be a symptom of a deeper issue lurking beneath the surface.
This doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to break up. But it could mean that there are some bigger issues you both need to work through.
7) She has anger issues
Anger issues are more than just being immature and acting out when you don’t get what you want or feel like you’re not getting enough attention.
The truth is, a certain amount of anger is completely normal.
It’s a natural, instinctual response to feeling threatened. We need it to survive because it protects us from harm.
But while most people have a temper at times, some people struggle to control it.
Instead, their anger issues escalate. If your girlfriend has anger issues, you may notice that she:
- says harsh things and verbally insults others
- loses her temper to the point of physically threatening others (e.g., throwing things or being violent)
- gets angry all the time
- seems out of control at times
- constantly has to apologize to people for her tantrums
- gets angry and upset over even the smallest things
A variety of factors can cause and contribute to anger issues.
Things like alcohol or drug abuse, mental health issues, and personality disorders can all play a role.
8) Hormones
I don’t mean to justify being unreasonably angry at your boyfriend, but hormones are crazy things.
While men’s hormone levels remain fairly constant throughout the month, women’s hormone levels fluctuate wildly.
This is due to biology.
Women are more cyclical because their menstrual cycles are highly hormonally regulated. Men, on the other hand, produce testosterone constantly throughout the year.
Premenstrual stress is often misunderstood. First of all, hormone issues don’t just affect women “during that time of the month.”
Their hormones are constantly fluctuating. Depending on her body, this can affect a woman to very different degrees.
Even small changes in diet, sleep, exercise, and countless other things can affect the hormones that create mood.
9) She has mental health issues
It’s safe to say that the world is facing an epidemic of mental health issues.
An estimated 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression.
Mental health issues including anxiety, stress, and depression can come in many forms.
This can include feeling impatient, overwhelmed, unable to cope, easily irritable, and angry.
This may be temporary and stem from some external stressor you’re currently experiencing. But it can also be a deeper issue.
You may also notice other signs that she’s suffering from low self-esteem, low confidence, poor social skills, and/or lack of motivation.
If you suspect your girlfriend may be struggling with her mental health, here’s what to look out for:
Feeling sad almost every day
Showing a lack of interest in things she used to enjoy
Difficulty sleeping or sleeping all the time
- Fatigue
- Changes in her appetite
- Irritability and anxiety
- Feeling extremely down
- Difficulty concentrating on anything
10) Get some expert advice
While this article explores the main reasons why your girlfriend is always angry with you, it may be helpful to talk to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and experiences…
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people deal with complex and difficult love situations, such as communication issues.
They are a very popular resource for people facing these types of challenges.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a rough patch in my relationship.
After being lost in my thoughts for a long time, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, compassionate, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice tailored to your situation.
Click here to get started.
11) You Didn’t Learn How to Communicate Properly
What are your girlfriend’s parents or caregivers like?
I ask because the home environment we are born into plays a huge role in shaping the people we become.
Particularly when it comes to family, they become our role models and we model relationships.
If her parents were constantly angry with each other, she likely learned that this is how you communicate.
Healthy communication isn’t something we’re born with and know how to do. We learn it. And sometimes we don’t learn it as we grow up and need to relearn it from other (better) sources.
Our past certainly shapes us in silent and invisible ways. But that doesn’t mean we can shirk responsibility.
It’s an explanation for why she’s always angry and yelling at you, not an excuse.
As adults, we need to learn new ways to deal with things.
It may be that you two need to find a healthier way to communicate with each other and deal with issues that arise.
12) She Feels Like She Doesn’t Understand You
Compatibility issues in a relationship can cause your girlfriend to get angry with you and have a lot of mood swings.
When we’re not on the same page with our partner, it can lead to feelings of not being understood. This creates a disconnect.
If she feels like you don’t understand her, listen to her, or “get her,” it can frustrate her.
Being very different from your partner isn’t always a bad thing, of course. Couples can find that they balance each other out.
For example, if one person is more prone to anxiety, the other may calm them down with a calm attitude.
In this way, differences can complement each other. But if the differences are more fundamental – that could spell trouble for the relationship.
When your communication styles, values, love languages, and personality traits clash, it can create an explosive environment.
13) She has past trauma
Who we are today is shaped by a combination of biological and environmental factors that influence our personality.
The experiences we go through influence us.
If she has had certain traumatic experiences in her past, she may have developed anger as a defense mechanism to cope.
When she feels threatened – whether that threat is real or imagined – she responds with a response.
Her response may be through intense anger. Deep down, anger is often a mask we use for sadness and pain.
If you know that your girlfriend has had a lot of problems in her past, you may need to work through these issues with a trained professional.
To get her to let go of her anger, and not take it out on you, you may need to find better coping mechanisms.
In Conclusion: What to Do If Your Girlfriend Is Always Mad at You?
I hope this article helps you figure out what’s going on.
The reasons your girlfriend is mad at you, as well as how widespread the problem is, will determine what you do about it.
But regardless, you shouldn’t ignore the problem.
You deserve to be in a respectful, communicative, and healthy relationship.
While it’s important to be understanding and supportive (no one is perfect after all), it’s also important to set clear boundaries.
Talk to her calmly about how you’re feeling, try to find solutions together, and ask her what’s going on.
If you’re not willing to face the difficulties in your relationship together and as a team, she may not be the right girl for you.
