So, do you want people to like you?
That makes sense. We all do.
While it’s not possible for everyone you meet to like you, there are certain things you can stop doing that will make it harder for you.
You may be doing certain things that push people away—without even realizing it! As with these things, the solution always starts with identifying the problem.
In this article, we’ll discuss nine things you should stop doing if you want people to like you.
1) Dominate Conversations
Being a good conversationalist isn’t just about knowing when to speak, it’s also about knowing when to listen.
It’s in our nature to share our thoughts, experiences, and opinions. But when this turns into a monologue instead of a dialogue, it can push people away.
No one likes to feel like they’re a captive audience, and everyone wants to feel heard.
Dominating conversations and not giving others a chance to express themselves can make you seem selfish and uncaring.
When you’re engaged in a conversation, make a conscious effort to listen as much as you talk.
It’s not just about hearing the words, it’s about understanding them. People are intuitive psychologists — they’ll know if you’re sitting there waiting for your turn to speak.
You have to think about what the other person is saying, let it affect you, absorb it, and reflect on it.
“Listening is the ability to be changed by the other person.” —Alan Alda.
2) Being Negative All the Time
There’s a difference between being realistic and being constantly depressed.
I once had a friend who always saw the glass as half empty. Even on sunny days, she would worry about the possibility of rain. It was exhausting to be around her, and eventually, our friendship suffered.
Negativity can be contagious and is one of the quickest ways to push people away, even those who care deeply about you.
It’s okay to take days off and share your worries, but if your conversations are constantly filled with complaints, pessimism, and criticism, it can be exhausting for others.
Find a balance.
Share your worries but also celebrate your joys.
Acknowledge the good in your life and others. This shift in attitude can make you more attractive.
3) Not respecting personal boundaries
Respect is key in any relationship, and that includes respecting personal boundaries.
Whether it’s physical space, emotional boundaries, or people’s time, crossing these lines can make you seem insensitive and intrusive.
Take a step back, literally and figuratively. Be aware of the signs that you’re crossing boundaries and adjust your behavior accordingly. This sensitivity can greatly enhance your likability.
4) Not trusting
Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship, and reliability is a big part of that trust.
Imagine that you’ve planned to meet a friend for lunch, and they cancel at the last minute—not once, but often. Over time, you’ll begin to question their respect for your time and perhaps even your friendship.
Not trusting sends the message that you don’t value other people’s time or commitments.
This can quickly erode your love.
Whether it’s following through on plans or keeping promises, strive to be someone others can count on. Not only will this make you more likable, it will also foster stronger relationships.
5) Constantly bragging
While it’s good to be confident and proud of your accomplishments, there’s a fine line between healthy self-esteem and constant bragging.
Sharing your success is one thing, but if every conversation turns into a video highlighting your life, it can make others feel like they’re living in your shadow.
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This behavior can come across as selfish and can make others feel like they’re just spectators in your life, rather than active participants.
Conversations should be a two-way street. It’s important to celebrate other people’s accomplishments and show genuine interest in their lives, too.
This balance can help improve how likable you are to others.
6) Being judgmental
In a world full of diversity and individuality, being judgmental is a surefire way to push people away.
No one is perfect.
We all have our flaws, quirks, and unique ways of seeing the world. When we judge others harshly because of their differences, it can create a barrier of discomfort and resentment.
Being more accepting and open to others helps create an atmosphere where people feel safe to be themselves. This is when real connections form.
Shouldn’t we strive to be more understanding, less judgmental, and appreciate the beauty in our differences?
These small changes can make a big difference in how well others like us.
7) Don’t Apologize When You’re Wrong
We’ve all been there. That moment when you realize you’ve made a mistake or unintentionally hurt someone.
It’s uncomfortable, but how we handle it can have a huge impact on how others view us.
I remember a time when I made a mistake at work that affected the entire team.
Instead of making excuses, I acknowledged my mistake, apologized sincerely, and worked hard to correct the situation.
Pride can be a stumbling block in situations like this, but admitting your mistakes and apologizing can show humility and respect for others.
This approach can turn potentially harmful situations into opportunities for growth, building trust, and boosting your likeability in the process.
8) Constant Interruptions
Communication is a two-way street, and interrupting is like a diversion sign that turns the conversation around.
When we interrupt others, it sends the message that what we have to say is more important than what they are saying.
This can make people feel unappreciated and neglected.
Practicing active listening and patience in conversations can go a long way in making you more likable.
It shows respect for others’ thoughts and feelings and demonstrates that you’re genuinely interested in what they’re saying.
Whenever you engage in a conversation, remember to pause, listen, and respond instead of interrupting.
9) Gossiping
If there’s one behavior that can quickly ruin someone’s likeability, it’s gossiping.
While sharing news and updates about mutual acquaintances can be a natural part of social interaction, there’s a difference between harmless gossip and malicious gossip.
Spreading rumors or sharing private information about others not only breaks trust, it also portrays you as someone who would do the same with the trust placed in you.
Keeping others private is a sign of respect and trust.
It reveals a lot about your personality and can greatly enhance your attractiveness.
So always think twice before sharing something that doesn’t belong to you.
Final Thoughts: Getting Rid of the Pricklies
It’s hard to explain, but all of the traits above can make a person seem “prickly” in some way.
If you’re always trying to dominate a conversation or don’t respect other people’s boundaries, there’s a certain intensity to it that makes people feel uncomfortable.
Becoming more attractive is like becoming less “prickly.”
No one wants to be around something they’re afraid of cutting or hurting them—and that goes for people, too.
