Unlucky In Love? 7 Simple Ways To Improve Your Luck In Love

Since it’s St. Patrick’s day today, I’ve been thinking a lot this week about luck. Especially when it comes to being lucky or unlucky in love.

I used to think that luck came only to the most unworthy people. I didn’t understand! All good and kind people have never been so lucky.

Luck was something I had no control over. It was finding a penny on the floor, seeing multiple rainbows, getting a warning instead of a ticket for speeding, throwing dice, getting this guy to commit, being intimate with one of the cool kids, throwing salt on my shoulder after it was spilled on him, etc.

Of all the luck I wished would hit me, there was nothing I wanted more than relational luck.

I was very lucky in love.

Because I thought Luck was a rare commodity, I did 2 things:

I got so desperate for it. I made it.

Complexity is your enemy. It makes you question yourself and everything you do. You can become such an insecure, overheating mouse in a maze that has already been faked from the get-go, to be missing the exit.

Complications are also an emotional defense mechanism that begins when the fear of having to act takes over. Think about it everything is complicated and messy, you automatically have a valid license to take no action even though there are red and pink flags right in front of you.

Related : 9 clever ways to keep your cool around toxic people

As far as despair goes – when you think and act from a place of despair, you just become unlucky.

In my life today, I feel very lucky. This does not mean that I do not have my problems, insecurities, heartbreak, and triggers. I just no longer feel out of control or at the mercy of having a lucky lightning strike me. I feel like I am my Lightning maker in my relationships, business, and life. And there is no greater feeling than knowing that you are connected to your lead.

People ask me how I got so lucky. This question used to arouse a lot of shame and guilt, but now, I have been contacted a lot at work that goes into creating my luck, and I no longer feel ashamed or strange about it when asked.

It’s really simple.

So in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I’m going to keep it simple and put how to turn your unlucky streak in love in 7 steps. These steps don’t just apply to being unlucky in love. You can apply them to your friendships, business, and family relationships too.
Here are My Lucky 7 for how to turn “unlucky in love” around

How to turn “unlucky in love” around – Step # 1: redefine. Every time I felt and described myself as “unlucky in love,” I was just self-sabotaging.

Being a self-sabotaging puppet master does not make you unlucky. It makes you emotionally excited.

How to turn “unlucky in love” – step number 2: if you say never, you never create.

I have a friend who complains about his weight for years and years. Every time we go to the gym together, this is the same speech: “I will never lose weight,” “I have baby fat” (at 31 years old), “I’m just big-boned.”

To this day, he continues to complain about being overweight. This man is handsome and amazing by any weight. Weight is not the problem here.

The problem is the emotional weight that we bring to the table of relations with us.

We come to the table knowing that we are overweight and emotionally dressed in 6 sizes that are too small for us. Next, we associate our value with meeting a person who not only plays dumb/blind in the handles of passionate love but also tells us how to look at the little black dress.

To be unhappy in your unhealthy and destructive patterns is bad enough. Talking about yourself out of proactivity is just spitting in the face of the universe.

Related : If you recognize these 12 behaviors, you’re dealing with a high-level manipulator

How to turn “unlucky in love” – step number 3: define and simplify.

If thinking about your relational goals gives you anxiety, you need to simplify. Because I lacked a sense of competence, the emotional pacifier was to direct my goals in such detail, and no one was good enough. The most illogical things will turn me off and red flags will lead to ovulation.

Today, I just want three things: 1) to be happy 2) to be around people who contribute to my growth and happiness 3) to get rid of the anchors that weigh me down from my happiness and peace. Period.

Without specifying and then simplifying my goals, I kept procrastinating. Who the hell wants to selectively embark on a contradictory, complex goal?

Whenever I was sad, depressed, or down on my relational luck, he would focus on these three things and eventually implement them, provided that a rebound that I had never thought of was possible. It’s really that simple.

How to turn “unlucky in love” around #4: do not get close to anyone who constantly brings you and disconnects with anyone who drains you of your energy. This is the energy that can be used for the right person.

I said this in my non-contact post and I will say it again:

“If I decided to cut off contact with someone, I would never feel bad about it because they handed me the scissors. I no longer value myself over someone handing me scissors. This is on them. What am I supposed to do with scissors? Put it in my pocket and risk further injury? Scissors are intended for cutting-not to put in your pocket until you have a license to feel sorry for yourself or recoil in an attempt to cause pain. Look at the heartbreaking and disrespectful behavior of people as the gift that will always be and will always be: scissors to get yourself out of their nonsense.”

Related : Losing The Love Of Your Life: What To Do When You Lose “The One”

How to turn “unlucky in love” – step number 5: contact. Never audition.

If you look at each date as a test, there are only two results:

You are rejected. Since you are auctioning, there is a 99% chance that you will not get the part. With auditions, only one person gets the role: the one who gives the best performance. You get the part, and therefore, you should play the part. Now you are in the play game, lacking confidence, jealousy, draining self-esteem, amateur hour, toxic relationship zone.

Focus on communication, never experiment.

If there is no connection, although it may hurt, you don’t take it personally because you have never been tested. You were trying to communicate with another human being. There was no connection.

It’s like trying to get a cellular signal in the middle of a rainforest – you turned on your phone, tried to call, and it didn’t work. The fact that it didn’t work has nothing to do with being a bad customer of the cellular service provider, there was no connection.

How to turn “unlucky in love” – Step # 6: set your standards and know what you don’t want.

Having the courage to act on what I didn’t want led me to people, opportunities, situations, circumstances, and relationships that overshadowed everything I thought I wanted.

How to turn “unlucky in love” around # 7:What are you leading with?

There is a whole other post I want to write about this but looking back, what messed up my luck in love was feeling like I had to lead with something.

Related : Shame vs Guilt: How To Get Out Of The Web & Save Your Emotional Life

Whether it’s a single story, looks, knowledge of sports that I didn’t have, clothes, Education, Sex, Problem, Etc. Same pig, different lipstick.

These were all just different filters. And just like when you post a photo on Instagram, the goal is to lead with the photo, not a filter. Some people lead with filters and then become dependent on them to feel like their photos are even yet capable.

Bottom line: the key to turning your relational luck is honesty. He performs with honesty, always.