Can a narcissist be loyal? Technically, yes.

If you believe that loyalty does not mean betrayal, then certainly a narcissist may be in a relationship and never sleep with someone who is not their partner.

But just because a narcissist doesn’t cheat, doesn’t mean he feels love and commitment. The reason they are faithful is because they either still get what they want from their partner or they never had the chance.

Being loyal is more than not cheating. Loyalty means loving someone with all your heart and choosing them over anyone else. But the narcissist is unable to do that.

Read on to learn more about narcissists, love, and loyalty.

Can a narcissist be loyal? Here’s why the answer is no

Narcissists are much more likely to be cheaters than the majority of people. They believe that rules that apply to others do not apply to them. This is why they can have sex with someone who is not their partner without a second thought.

Even if the narcissist has never slept with someone other than their partner, the answer to the question: “Can a narcissist be faithful in a relationship?” is nothing.

Narcs may not be sleeping, but they are not loyal out of love and loyalty – it’s only because it’s in their best interest. The only reason a narcissist doesn’t cheat is because he still gets what he needs from his partner or he didn’t have the opportunity.

Narcs may not be sleeping, but they are not loyal out of love and loyalty – it’s only because it’s in their best interest. The only reason a narcissist doesn’t cheat is because he still gets what he needs from his partner or he didn’t have the opportunity.

Related : 10 phrases narcissists use to blame others for their own failures

To understand why this is, let’s first learn more about narcissists.
Are you in a relationship with a narcissist?

People often use the term “narcissist” to describe someone with narcissistic traits, such as selfishness, but narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition that involves more than one personality trait.

Narcissism is a spectrum. Having a slightly inflated ego is common, and just because you’re arrogant doesn’t mean someone has a narcissistic disorder. A person with narcissistic tendencies is capable of having healthy relationships, but a person with narcissistic personality disorder is not.

How do you know if your significant other has narcissistic traits or if he or she has narcissistic personality disorder? Only a doctor can diagnose a mental health condition like this, but some red flags will make things more clear.

• Excellence

The quickest way to know you are with a narcissist is to pay attention to the way they treat others. The narcissist believes they are not like others. All their relationships depend on what they can get from others, including you.

The narcissist will sacrifice your happiness, interests, and well-being for his own and see no problem with that.

They may not even realize how distorted their thinking is because they see themselves as the only person who matters and everyone else as tools to be used to achieve what they want.

• Entitlement

They feel entitled to what they want because they believe they are special, and they need constant validation to remind them of that. For this purpose, they exploit others without any regard for their interests.

The narcissist feels that the world owes him the things he wants. Admiration, attention, success, recognition – whatever it is they crave, they expect to get it because they believe they deserve it.

• Offense

When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, almost every day is a struggle to find hope in the face of narcissistic abuse. The narcissist exploits your insecurities and fears and then distorts reality to make you believe his behavior is your fault.

Gaslighting is one of the narcissists’ main weapons – they will never admit any wrongdoing or wrongdoing. Instead, they will make you doubt yourself and your perception. They must always maintain the image they have of themselves, and your sanity is not a high price to pay.

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Can a narcissist truly love someone?

You could say that the only person a narcissist loves is themselves, but that’s not entirely true.

Narcissists don’t feel self-love. What narcissists feel underneath all the superiority is self-hatred and low self-esteem that they try to fight at the expense of others.

This is why narcissists need constant affirmation from those around them that they are as wonderful as they try to convince themselves. Everyone appreciates attention, but for a narcissist, it is the only way to feel good about themselves

You can see how this goes hand in hand with cheating.

When their partner can’t give them what they’re looking for, they look for attention elsewhere. They don’t feel bad about it because their behavior is based entirely on making themselves feel good.

If you try to confront them, you will face a complete refusal to take responsibility. The narcissist will use manipulation and emotional abuse to make you doubt yourself.

A narcissist cannot feel true love because he has no interest in the needs and feelings of others or the desire to understand them. But narcissists can disguise their abuse as love. They can hurt you and make you feel like you are the one hurting them.

Narcissistic traits and cheating

One of the hallmarks of narcissism is a lack of empathy. This means that the narcissistic person is unable to connect with others, making it impossible for them to love another person.

Narcissists have a great sense of self-importance. They believe everyone is beneath them and expect special treatment. To a narcissist, others are only valuable if they serve a purpose, so they don’t think twice before taking advantage of others.

They have a sense of entitlement and believe they deserve things, most of all admiration, attention, and validation. They use manipulation and abuse to get what they want if it is not given to them.

All of these traits make cheating normal for narcissists, as something that does not harm anyone.

They don’t see cheating as worse than spending time with a friend, for example, when you’re alone and your partner is busy. If a narcissist does not have their partner’s attention, they will betray them as easily as if they were calling a friend for drinks.

But even if a narcissist can’t figure out why he’s not cheating on his partner, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what he’s doing is wrong. They will hide infidelity, not because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings, but so they don’t have to suffer the consequences.

sexual narcissism

Sexual narcissism consists of four parts: sexual exploitation, a high sense of sexual skill, sexual entitlement, and lack of sexual empathy.

In other words, the sexual narcissist feels good in bed and believes he is entitled to sex. They are willing to use people and do not care about their partner’s sexual experience. This is consistent with all other aspects of narcissism.

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This means that the narcissist is more likely to have casual sex and sex without emotional attachment. According to research on sexual narcissism, it is also closely linked to infidelity.

Narcissists are more likely to cheat because they only place value on others in terms of what they can get from them. They use sex to prove to themselves that they are superior at it, but also to satisfy their need for attention.

It does not matter to the narcissist what his romantic or sexual partners feel. They easily justify to themselves sex outside of a relationship as something they are entitled to because they are better than normal people.

If they can’t get what they need from one person, they have no problem looking for it with multiple partners.

What does a narcissist want in a relationship?

There is only one thing a narcissist wants from their partner, and that is to use them to satisfy their desperate need for attention and admiration. How can a narcissist be loyal when they cannot truly love someone?

Narcissists are never loyal to their partners in any significant way. For narcissists, the relationship ends when they have nothing to gain from their victim, so they never commit.

They are unfaithful because they always keep their options open in case you stop giving them what they need – attention, admiration, and boundless feelings of superiority.

Narcissistic supply

Relationships with narcissistic partners can last anywhere from a few months to several years. To understand how a narcissist operates, it is helpful to become familiar with the concept of narcissistic supply.

Narcissists need constant validation. Receiving special treatment is how they compensate for their insecurities, so they should always have a source to provide them with the admiration and attention they need.

They are unable to make real connections with people, so they target those around them who can meet their needs. To maintain their narcissistic supply, they manipulate and abuse their victims.

Narcissistic Relationships Course

This is how a relationship with a narcissist works: first, they pin you down, then they destroy you, and finally, they throw you away.

As long as you serve your purpose, you are useful. This is how plausible the idea that a narcissist can be loyal can seem: even if they are abusive, they can still be loyal because what they get from their victim is feeding their supply.

The three stages of the narcissistic relationship cycle are:

Stage 1. Idealization

Do you believe in true love at first sight? Maybe you don’t, but then you meet the person. Your soul mate. Someone so perfect for you that your time together seems like a fairytale.

When a narcissist needs someone to provide them with the necessary attention and find someone vulnerable enough to use them, they put them on a pedestal.

Narcissists idealize their victims because they want to believe that their supplies come from a valuable source, not because they love them.

At this point, the narcissist may think he feels love, but he doesn’t. They create a fantasy version of you that can do no wrong so that they can deem you worthy of being their source.

They may be loyal at this point because they are getting what they need from you.

The narcissist learns what his victim wants and presents himself as the perfect partner. They give their victim what appears to be intense love and affection – but is love bombing – to gain their trust until they let their guard down.

The second phase. Currency devaluation

The narcissist soon realizes that you are not the person he created inside his head. They think in absolutes – you can be either flawless or worthless. You cannot keep up with the narcissist’s demands, and thus lose your value to them.

Worse still, if you love a narcissist, he or she will think that you are inferior and worthless. They transfer their feelings about themselves to you. That’s how they see themselves deep down, so if you love them, there’s something wrong with you.

The narcissist devalues ​​his victim and puts her down because she doesn’t belong on the pedestal anymore. Narcissistic abuse is punishment for not being who they imagined they were and not being able to be given what they need.

Threats of violence, gaslighting, violating your boundaries, and isolating you from your family members are all abusive behaviors that a narcissist may use to punish you.

At this point, they may be unfaithful if they find another source. If they don’t, they may appear remorseful and repeat the cycle to get what they need from you.
Stage 3. Disposal

When a narcissist can’t use you the way he wants anymore, he first punishes you, then gets rid of you.

However, before they completely get rid of their victim, the narcissist wants to make sure they are punished in the way they deserve. They invalidate your feelings, play the victim, and run smear campaigns to destroy your reputation.

Oftentimes, even after they have disposed of their victims, the narcissist still leaves the door open so they can come back in case there is still more to take from you.

It all comes down to the discouraging fact that the narcissist is incapable of love. Some of them may believe that they can feel love, so when they are inevitably disappointed in their partner, they will blame them and look for someone else.

After getting rid of their old, “flawed” partner, the narcissist moves on to a new romantic partner, but in reality, all they want is another source.

How do you know that a narcissist is unfaithful?

This depends on the type of cheating the narcissist is practicing.

Sometimes, all they’re trying to get is more attention from their partner, and sometimes they want attention from any source they can get.

Types of marital infidelity

Some narcissists are content with emotional infidelity, while others sleep with whomever they desire. Some are serial cheaters, others have affairs.

If the narcissist does not place as much value on sexual conquest as he does on, say, wealth, commercial success, or popularity, he may remain faithful, but only because he will gain nothing from infidelity.

1. Physical betrayal

Physical infidelity means that the narcissist is having sex outside of the relationship. This can range from a long-term affair to a one-night stand. This is what we usually think of when we talk about infidelity, but it is often associated with other types as well.

2. Emotional betrayal

Emotional infidelity occurs when someone becomes emotionally intimate with someone other than their partner. Developing an emotional connection with another person can be as harmful to the relationship as a sexual relationship.

However, because a narcissist is unable to truly relate to others, a romantic relationship can mean different things to them than it does to a normal person.

3. Cyber ​​treason

Cyber ​​infidelity usually means either using social media and dating apps to have some sort of intimate relationship with another person or excessive consumption of pornography. It can stay at the level of just liking someone’s sexy photos or escalate into sexting or video chatting.

4. Marital infidelity

Although it’s not often viewed as infidelity, focusing on something to the point of obsession and neglecting your partner is a form of infidelity. This includes, for example, a person who is so focused on his work that his relationship deteriorates.

If the narcissist finds the validation he needs through success at his job, he may ignore his partner in pursuit of the more admiration he can get from achieving business success.

5. Partial infidelity

Partial infidelity, even though it may seem harmless, can destroy a relationship in the long run. It involves seemingly insignificant actions done by someone that upset their partner.

For example, if someone is constantly flirting even though their partner doesn’t like it, the longer it goes on, the more vulnerable their partner is to being hurt, even if there is no intention of going through with it.

Warning signs of marital infidelity

Here are the signs that your partner may be cheating on you, regardless of whether he or she is a narcissist or not. The main difference is that the narcissist will be more defensive if you confront him and take the spotlight to another level.

• Lack of interest in sex

If your partner suddenly loses interest in sex, he’s probably having enough sex elsewhere. For any cheater, especially a narcissist, sex outside of a relationship is much more exciting than sex with a partner.

• Changes in sexual behavior

When your partner suggests something they haven’t mentioned before, it could be a sign of infidelity. Maybe they tried something with the person they are cheating with and liked it, so now they want to do it again.

• Claims to work all the time

Suddenly, having to work overtime or on weekends may be an excuse, especially if your partner can’t give you answers to the questions you ask them about it.

• Going out with friends more than usual

If your partner is seeing their friends more than usual, they may be seeing their partner. The things they tell you about spending time with their friends are especially likely to be vague.

• Doesn’t want to spend time together

If your partner is avoiding you, they may be trying to hide something from you. It is easier not to speak at all than to speak up and accidentally let something incriminating slip away.

• Unusual behavior

When your partner is acting strange and you feel like something is wrong, it may be a sign that something is up. For example, if they are more nervous than usual, or defensive when you ask them anything, or if they blame you for everything that goes wrong.

• Suspicious use of technology

Hiding their phone is one of the first signs that your partner may be cheating. If their phone is always on silent, if they leave the room to answer a call, or if you sometimes can’t reach them by phone, they’re probably sneaking.

• Paying attention to appearance

If your partner starts to care about his appearance more than usual, it may be because he wants to look good for the person he is cheating on.

• Suspicious spending

Unusual credit card charges or unexplained cash withdrawals could mean your partner is spending money on their partner and funding their cheating.

finalthoughts

Sometimes the victim of a narcissist doesn’t even realize that what they are experiencing is not a good thing. The narcissist works hard to normalize abusive behaviors and make his victim believe he deserves appreciation when he is not being hurt.

For example, finding comfort in the fact that they are not cheating on you is a consequence of their abuse. But can a narcissist be loyal to their partner when they cannot truly love them?