People who are friendly on the surface but manipulative underneath often display these 6 specific behaviors

Can you tell the difference between someone who is genuinely friendly and someone who is just too nice to manipulate you?

It’s incredibly hard to spot manipulators, especially when they’re hiding their intentions behind a friendly, kind demeanor.

But don’t worry, I’ve dealt with a fair share of manipulators and I’m about to share 6 behaviors you can look out for to make sure you’re not being tricked by a seemingly friendly person.

1) They Always Agree With You

Have you ever met someone who agrees with everything you say?

They laugh at every joke and agree with every word you say. It’s like they’re your biggest fan. They’re the ones who say yes, like Jim Carrey’s character in “Yes Man.”

And they feel good, right? So what’s the big deal?

Here’s the thing: Being too nice can be a subtle way for someone to win you over. At first, it feels like the best friend you never had, but you just agree.

Although it may seem like a real friendship, these people have mastered the art of making friends quickly so that when the time comes, they can get what they want.

The next time you notice that a new friend always agrees with you, stop and ask yourself; is this for real or is there something else going on here?

2) They shower you with affection and attention

In romantic relationships, this is known as love bombing, where the new partner can’t seem to get enough of you and showers you with love.

RELATED:7 red flags you’re in a relationship with a textbook narcissist

But make no mistake: You don’t have to be emotionally involved for someone to shower you with affection and attention.

Imagine this: You have a new friend who seems friendly. They text you throughout the day, and they may like or comment on your latest social media posts to show support. They invite you to spend a lot of time together.

It feels like the friendship goes from zero to one hundred very quickly. You just met and became best friends. But sometimes this happens on purpose.

It’s a common tactic used by manipulative people. They quickly make themselves a big part of your life, encouraging you to lower your guard and making it easier for them to control you.

New friendships are great, but just like in a romantic relationship, if things are moving too fast, you need to hit the brakes and ask yourself, “Why?”

3) They Give You Compliments

We all appreciate a nice compliment now and then, right?

It’s natural for friends to compliment each other. It’s a nice gesture and can make someone’s day.

But sometimes, manipulative people use compliments as a way to make you feel safe with them.

Remember Saul Goodman (played by Bob Odenkirk), the super-friendly, conniving lawyer from Breaking Bad (and Better Call Saul )? He was incredibly charming and always quick to offer compliments.

He was also a master manipulator, and his charm and overuse of compliments were tactics he used to trick his unwitting victims.

Compliments here and there are fine, but if you start to notice that someone is constantly complimenting you, take a moment to consider whether it could be more than just a genuine crush.

4) They Overdo Physical Affection

Is there anything more comforting than a warm hug from a friend or family member?

When you think about it: Whether it’s a pat on the back, an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder, or a soft, reassuring touch on your forearm, it’s not uncommon for friends to show affection through touch.

Over time, it can make you feel closer and deepen your relationship. In fact, “research has shown that hugging can release significant amounts of oxytocin, the bonding hormone between partners,” as explained in Psychology Today.

However, if you find that someone is constantly showing you physical affection, it could be a tactic to create a false sense of closeness.

Manipulative people know that if you feel close to them, it’s easier for them to control you and get what they want from you.

Pay attention to how much affection your friends show you. A little is fine, but if it seems excessive, you may be dealing with a manipulative person, no matter how friendly they are.

5) They Offer Kindness and Strategic Generosity

In one of my first jobs out of college, she befriended me in the office on my first day. I was grateful. We were about the same age and seemed to have a lot in common.

She was so sweet, she even gave me a bouquet to congratulate me on completing my first week.

At first, I was thrilled to have made such a wonderful new friend. But over time, I began to notice a pattern.

I wasn’t the only one who benefited from her kindness and generosity. Whenever she needed something from someone, she would do something nice or generous for them first. That way, it would be much harder for them to say no after she was so kind.

Do you know anyone who shows kindness and gives gifts a lot? They’re probably just being nice and there’s nothing wrong with it for them.

But look closely, if the gift comes with strings attached, or only when they need something, that’s strategic generosity and classic manipulative behavior.

6) They Share Quickly

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone you don’t know very well confides in you and asks for your advice on a personal matter?

They may be going through something at home or needing some advice on a problem at work, and they come to you with it.

Usually, when someone shows you emotional vulnerability like this, it’s a sign that they trust you and that you’ve developed a strong bond.

It’s good to be trusted and encourages you to show vulnerability too.

But be careful – if you sense that this person is sharing too much too early in your friendship or relationship, it could be a ploy to get you to open up and share your secrets too.

These are tactics that manipulative people love to use because if they can get you to open up, they can gather valuable information that they can use against you later to get what they want.

Always remember, before sharing too much, to ask yourself “Do I know this person well enough to trust them with this information?”

Final Thoughts

While they may seem friendly on the outside, some people often use subtle tactics to manipulate you.

Emotional manipulation is rooted in your trust and interest in the other person, which is why they often go to such lengths to create the illusion of true friendship.

Beware of these behaviors and trust your instincts. If something feels off, take a step back and assess the situation. If they’re a true friend, they’ll understand your desire to slow things down.

If they’re a manipulator, you’ll stop them in their tracks. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.