The narcissist rarely attaches to anyone.
In fact, their selection was never random; They are always looking for the most suitable victims for their abuse.
It has been shown that most victims of narcissism are women who suffer from anxiety disorders.
Therefore, there must be some kind of relationship between the two. Let’s look at it.
- The narcissist never takes responsibility…
One of the most common characteristics of all narcissists is that they never consider themselves guilty of anything they say or do.
These are people who usually have no conscience and never admit their mistakes.
Even when they see their mistake, they never admit it to anyone else – especially to their victims.
Even though they see their own flaws deep down, narcissists need to present themselves as flawless.
They are not like other humans.
They don’t make mistakes, repent for their misdeeds, or apologize when they hurt you.
Of course, this is all part of their manipulative tactic.
Pretending to be too good to be true at first is the narcissist’s way of getting inside you.
Lately, he gets away with his sins because he never acknowledges them and always finds an excuse for his toxic behavior.
- …while people with anxiety believe they are always to blame
On the other hand, people with anxiety disorder always blame themselves.
This is what suits the narcissist best.
You see, even if the narcissist tells you he’s sorry, he’ll somehow manage to twist the whole situation and you’ll never get a true apology.
Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he will end up convincing his anxious victim that she made him behave this way, or that, for example, he betrayed her because she did not give him enough attention, or that he insulted her (or even hit her). For her own good.
Sounds silly, I know.
However, if you are anxious and insecure about yourself, it is easy to believe something like this.
Moreover, a man with narcissistic disorder will brainwash you for months and years.
He will blame you for every little thing that happens and for every failure in your relationship so that you will be manipulated into seeing things that way too.
- The narcissist makes his victims feel inadequate…
Let’s get one thing straight: The narcissist’s ego is fragile.
Despite popular opinion, these people do not think much of themselves and have very low self-esteem.
However, instead of working on these issues, they choose a different model of behavior.
They decide to start acting the exact opposite of how they feel and pretend to be confident so that others will see them that way too.
So, when you first meet a man like this, you admire his sense of self-worth without really knowing what’s hidden beneath the surface.
The problem is not with this man’s arrogance, but with the way he builds his self-worth by humiliating others.
The narcissist constantly compares himself to everyone around him – especially his victim – and the only way to feel good is to be above you.
Hence, this man takes every opportunity to disappoint you.
He insults you, calls you names, belittles you, and makes fun of you. Claims that your friends, education, or career are of no use.
It makes you compare yourself to other girls. The list goes on.
It makes you the submissive person in your relationship.
His feeling of dominance over you gives him a sense of power and self-worth.
- …while anxious people have self-doubt
Who do you think is best for this magic trick? Well, no one but a girl who already suffers from anxiety and insecurity.
An anxious woman is the most suitable victim of narcissist abuse because she already believes she is not enough.
So, the narcissist has no problem making her believe she doesn’t deserve anything.
This man goes out of his way to convince you that you’re not meant to be loved, that you’re lucky that he agreed to be with you, despite the way he treats you, and that no one else will ever look at you.
You are not pretty or pretty enough.
You are stupid, crazy, incapable of doing anything with your life, and would be a complete failure otherwise – your savior and the only person in this world who can love you for who you are.
- The narcissist uses fear…
Another tactic that all narcissists use to control their victims and keep them around is fear.
When you hear this, you might assume that this man is threatening to kill or beat you, but there is much more to fear than physical threats, although they are also usually involved in narcissistic abuse.
He may emotionally blackmail you and tell you that he will do something to himself if you leave him.
Or threaten to reveal all your secrets to the people closest to you or publish your videos and photos – the possibilities are endless.
He promised that he would destroy you if you turned away from him or that he would haunt you as long as you lived.
Either way, the result is the same.
This man doesn’t keep you physically confined to his side, but he certainly keeps you hostage in some other way.
- …while an anxiety disorder makes you afraid
Naturally, a person suffering from anxiety is the perfect target for this type of behavior.
After all, your anxiety disorder is making you afraid of its own.
You are an overthinker and pessimist, always anticipating the worst-case scenario.
How do you suppose that this man’s threats were in vain?
How can you see that he is nothing but a coward who doesn’t dare to do anything about it?
More importantly, how can you deal with this new fear, when you’re already struggling with the fears you already have?
How can you look him straight in the eyes and then finally kick him out?
You can’t, right? Well, unfortunately, your narcissistic friend knows this and uses it to his advantage.
- The narcissist highlights his victims…
All narcissists have a habit of using a toxic tactic called gaslighting.
They lie, tell half-truths, and do everything they can to change the course of events in your head.
They are playing with your mind, trying to make you feel like you are crazy.
Every time you argue about something, the narcissist claims that you didn’t hear things correctly, that you misinterpreted them, or that you made a big deal out of nothing.
In most extreme cases, a narcissist will try to convince you that some things from your past never happened.
It’s all in your head and you’re imagining things just to accuse him of being a bad guy.
They want to brainwash you to the point where you will believe them more than your mind, and where you will begin to doubt your sanity.
- …those who do not trust their judgment
On the other hand, when you’re dealing with an anxiety disorder, it doesn’t take long before you start to believe it, because you’re already questioning your judgment skills.
Is your memory correct or is this man telling the truth?
Is your mind playing tricks on you?
Do you see things as worse than they are because of your pessimism and insecurity?
Well, the answer is no.
You’re all but mad, and you have a more vivid memory of the past because of the pain it caused you.
- The narcissist makes his victim emotionally dependent…
This should be needed for every narcissist because it gives them a sense of their worth.
To achieve this, he makes sure that his victims become emotionally dependent on him.
At first, he pretends to be the best man she’s ever met.
He gives you his entire soul and heart, doing you favors and helping you whenever he can.
Of course, after a while, you start to depend on it.
You’re counting on the fact that this guy isn’t going anywhere and you’re more than happy that you’ve finally found someone to share your life’s difficulties with.
But the moment he realizes this, the narcissist backs down.
However, it doesn’t leave you hanging forever. He just wants you to see how emotionally dependent you are on him.
Therefore, he can convince you that you cannot achieve success without him.
And it makes your biggest nightmare the fear of losing him.
- …while anxious people fear abandonment
If you are an anxious person, you are always obsessed with the idea that everyone you love will move away from you sooner or later.
You will do something to push them away, or they will tire of your demanding personality, or they will stop loving you.
Well, the abandonment issues you’re dealing with are exactly what this guy is using against you.
He knows you’re terrified at the mere thought of being left alone, and he always keeps your traumas alive.
