If you’re reading this, I know you’ve been there.
You’ve found yourself stuck in a conversation where you’re doing all the hard emotional work.
Worse, it’s not just one conversation. It’s probably a relationship where you’re constantly feeling drained and exhausted.
Well, here’s something you might not know.
It could be because you’re dealing with an emotionally drained person. Yes, it’s not always about us — sometimes it’s about the people we surround ourselves with.
So how do you know if you’re dealing with this type of person?
Don’t worry. Psychology is here to help.
In this article, let’s uncover some key behaviors that indicate you’re dealing with an emotionally drained person.
1) They’re Always the Victim
If you’re dealing with an emotionally drained person, you might find that they’re often playing the victim.
And I mean always.
Every story they tell puts them in the position of the unfortunate person facing an unfair world.
But while we all face challenges, with people who drain our emotions, it’s a constant narrative. Where they are always the innocent victim, and everyone else is lurking around them.
This behavior can be extremely exhausting for those around them, as it often requires constant empathy and attention.
2) Your feelings are often ignored
Here’s something I’ve personally experienced.
There was a person in my life, let’s call him Philip. Whenever I shared my feelings or concerns, Philip would dismiss them. I felt like my feelings were invalid or insignificant compared to his.
A classic example—one time, I was having a particularly bad day at work. I tried to share, expecting some form of comfort or advice.
Instead, he quickly turned the conversation back to his day and his problems, completely ignoring what I had just shared.
This kind of rejection can be subtle but exhausting, making you feel like your feelings don’t matter. This is another sign that you may be dealing with an emotionally exhausting person.
3) It’s a black hole of needs and wants
Imagine this.
You’re out with a friend, coffee in hand, ready for a quiet date. Instead, you find yourself navigating an endless list of their problems, needs and wants. You leave the coffee shop feeling more exhausted than relaxed.
Does this sound familiar?
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This is a common trait of emotionally exhausted people. They’re like a black hole that sucks up all your energy. They consume the conversation with their issues and leave no room for anything else.
This isn’t to say we shouldn’t be there for our friends when they need it. But when it becomes a one-way street of emotional labor — that’s when it gets exhausting.
So, if you constantly find yourself feeling like you’re a dumping ground for emotions after a conversation or encounter, you may be dealing with an emotionally exhausted person.
4) They Thrive on Drama
You know those people who always seem to be in the middle of some kind of drama? Like they thrive on it?
This is another behavior to watch out for.
Emotionally exhausted people often create or amplify conflict. They seem to feed off emotional turmoil. It’s like the chaos feeds them, keeping them in the spotlight.
This constant state of drama can be mentally draining for those around them.
If you find yourself constantly getting caught up in unnecessary conflict or drama, take a moment to see if this is a pattern with a particular person. This could be a sign that you’re dealing with an emotionally drained individual.
5) They’re Often Pessimistic
Did you know that our brains have a natural bias toward negativity? It’s an evolutionary trait that helped our ancestors survive by being hyper-aware of potential dangers.
Now, think of someone who is constantly negative, always focusing on the worst aspects of any situation. This can amplify the negativity bias in our brain, making us more stressed, anxious, or upset.
People who are emotionally drained tend to be perpetual pessimists. They tend to turn even the most positive news into a depressing story.
So, if you frequently feel depressed after interacting with someone, despite your best efforts to stay positive, this could be a sign that you’re dealing with someone who is emotionally drained.
6) They struggle with empathy
We all know how comforting it can be when someone truly understands and shares our feelings.
It’s like a warm hug on a cold day, right?
Unfortunately, people who are emotionally drained often struggle with empathy. They have a hard time putting themselves in someone else’s shoes.
This can make interactions with them one-sided and you may end up feeling unheard or unappreciated.
But here’s something to remember.
It’s not always their fault. Some people truly struggle with empathy because of their upbringing, past experiences, or even their brain chemistry.
Understanding this can sometimes make it easier for us to manage these difficult relationships.
7) They Rarely Take Responsibility
It’s important to understand this.
People who are emotionally drained often have a hard time taking responsibility for their actions. They tend to shift blame onto others, creating a vicious cycle where they never acknowledge their role in a situation.
This can lead to frustration, confusion, and even guilt in those around them. It can make you question your perceptions and actions, adding an extra layer of emotional stress.
If someone is constantly avoiding taking responsibility and blaming someone else, this is a strong sign that you’re dealing with someone who is emotionally drained.
Final Thoughts
If you recognize these signs in the people around you, it may be time for some introspection. You’re likely dealing with someone who is emotionally drained.
But here’s the bright side—awareness is the first step toward change.
Remember, you have the power to control how these interactions affect you. By being understanding and mindful, you can better manage these relationships and protect your emotional health.
Start by acknowledging these behaviors when they occur. Notice how they make you feel. Identify patterns and triggers.
Then ask yourself – What can I do to alleviate this? How can I set healthy boundaries? Is this relationship worth the emotional drain it causes?
Change won’t happen overnight. But every little step toward better emotional health counts.
In the words of Maya Angelou, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
So take that knowledge and use it to do better. For your emotional well-being, because you deserve it.
