Unless you’re a fortune teller, when you’re first dating someone, it’s almost impossible to know in advance how likely they are that they’ll end up cheating on you in a marriage or long-term relationship.
If we could see acts of infidelity before they happen, we might make very different decisions about marriage and relationships altogether. If nothing else, we wouldn’t be shocked to discover that our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife was having an affair.
However, people with certain personality types are more likely to cheat than others. It’s something that most of us understand intuitively, even if we can’t exactly explain it to anyone else, or even to ourselves.
Looking back after learning about an affair, many betrayed partners say things like, “I should have seen it coming.”
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Together, these observations point to an important fact that recent research has begun to confirm.
Simply put, partners who display certain dominant personality traits are more likely to cheat than others.
Although nothing can truly prepare you for the experience of your partner cheating, you can benefit from your observations of your partner if his or her behavior is suspicious or later becomes suspicious.
7 common personality traits of people who are victims of infidelity and romantic relationships
- Narcissism
Narcissism is not easy to define. Likewise, it can also be difficult to figure out, especially during the first part of the relationship.
This is not the place to delve into the narcissistic personality type, but your partner may be a narcissist if:
- cocky
- They are self-absorbed
- Show a lack of empathy
- Manipulative
Being romantically involved with a true narcissist is another thing entirely, but if your partner consistently displays the above traits, you should likely remain on guard against the possibility of infidelity. It’s sad to say, but a self-absorbed person is capable of almost anything.
- Flirting
Attention and charm are one thing, but constant flirting can be a strong indicator of future infidelity. People who flirt a lot like to give and receive attention, sometimes at the expense of their partner’s feelings.
And while you probably shouldn’t read too much into casual flirting, it’s something you should be wary of if your relationship shows other signs of trouble.
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- Greed
If your partner shows greed in many of his interactions with others, it may be a sign of infidelity in the future. This is especially true if their greed is coupled with a “the grass is always greener on the other side” mentality.
These two qualities are unpleasant enough in themselves. But when you find them combined in one person, they can form an annoying tendency.
It’s an ugly truth to deal with, but some people believe they deserve more than others. The source of this sense of entitlement varies from person to person, but a partner driven by greed is probably not a partner you should trust unduly.
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- Insecurity
While a certain amount of self-doubt is reasonable and healthy, a partner with deep insecurities can be a real problem.
This is especially true of infidelity. In most cases, deep feelings of insecurity stem from large reserves of pain, and unfortunately, some people are willing to cheat on their partner to relieve that pain for a while.
That’s why it’s wise to pay attention if your partner is overly insecure. A person who remains in pain for long periods may not think twice about hurting you.
Insecurity in itself does not guarantee that your partner will be unfaithful. But it could be an indicator of future infidelity if it occurs along with one or more of the other traits on our list.
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- Impulsiveness
A lack of impulse control is a hallmark of many unfaithful partners. Highly impulsive people sometimes lack the discipline to make kind, loving choices.
This may or may not be a reflection of their basic morals, but impulse control can be an indicator of infidelity.
Remember, there is a big difference between being “spontaneous” and lacking impulse control.
The first is a pleasant and lively quality, while the second can be a sign of pathology. But like many of the traits on our list, impulsiveness does not in itself guarantee infidelity.
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- Permissibility of disbelief
Some people have more liberal attitudes toward relationships than others. While it may be difficult to trace the origins of these attitudes, a partner who has a permissive attitude toward infidelity may be cause for suspicion.
If this permissive attitude just means your partner is non-judgmental, there may be nothing to worry about. But if this permissive attitude extends beyond the philosophical realm, it may be an indicator of infidelity.
Remember, people tell us who they are through their attitudes, words, and actions. For self-preservation, it is always a good idea to listen to what your partner has to say.
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- Excessive suspicion
It’s an old saying that cheaters think everyone else is a cheater too.
If your partner constantly believes that you are cheating on him, it may be a sign that he is likely to be unfaithful himself.
You should be especially careful if these doubts arise out of nowhere or become a dominant theme in your relationship. We all feel jealous or suspicious at times, but neither are the characteristics of a healthy person.
An honest partner will not accuse you of being unfaithful because he does not feel the presence of such deceitful tendencies in his heart.
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There are no guaranteed indicators of future infidelity
This is an important fact to remember as you apply this new knowledge to your relationship.
No one is perfect. Your partner is bound to display some version of these traits at one time or another, but that doesn’t mean he’ll cheat on you.
Regarding the possibility of cheating, the importance of these personality traits is always contextual. We’re all insecure, greedy, or impulsive at times, but if these are (or become) your partner’s defining traits, there could be trouble down the road.
Finally, the worst-case scenario is one where your partner suddenly starts displaying several of these traits at once.
That’s when it’s time to start evaluating.
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