Great relationships are built and broken by how you treat each other every day. It’s the simple things – your attitude, how you handle conflict, and what you focus on that will keep you together or break you apart in the end. Building a life with a woman means learning how to share your life with her, and how to create a deep and meaningful relationship that allows you both to grow and develop as people. But how to spoil a relationship? Here are five bad habits that create drama and negativity in your relationship.
Here are 5 small but toxic habits that destroy great relationships:
- You worry about what others think
Everyone wants and needs different things in their relationships. Don’t get caught up in what other people want or what your friends are doing. Focus on creating a relationship with your partner that works for both of you.
Related: My Own Toxic Positivity Destroyed The One Relationship I Thought Was Unbreakable
- You let your ego get in your way
One of the biggest relationship mistakes is falling into trying to be right in an argument. When you focus on proving your partner wrong and making them admit that you are right, you lose sight of what you are trying to do: solve a problem. Let go of your ego, and instead focus on creating a space where each of you can share your concerns about the issue. Work as a team to find a solution that makes sense to both of you.
Related: 5 Steps You Need To Take If You Want To Ditch Your Toxic Relationship
- Let the past define you or your partner
Past relationships and partners should not be used as a measure of your current relationship. Negative past experiences are not evidence that every relationship you will ever have will fail. You can learn from your mistakes and make different choices. Your partner can too. Don’t use her past against her. Focus on your present and your future together.
- You have a grudge
Holding on to your upset over a mistake (or perceived mistake) can poison your relationship over time. Grudges build invisible walls between you and your partner. When you walk around angry about an old insult, you can’t connect emotionally or enjoy true intimacy. The negative emotions you feel are getting in your way. Creating a strong relationship involves learning how to forgive, forget, and let go of grudges.
Related: Psychologist Reveals The 3 Toxic Communication Styles That Always End Relationships
- You are trying to change your partner
Love your partner for who she is instead of trying to change or “fix” her. When you try to change her, you are subconsciously rejecting her and telling her that she is not good enough for you. We strive to create a relationship full of love, acceptance, and support that inspires you both to grow and develop.
What can you do instead? You don’t have to let your bad habits ruin your relationship. Learn to recognize when you’re doing this and commit to breaking your patterns. Practice P.B.S. (Pause, take a deep breath, and smile) whenever you feel like reminiscing or holding on to a grudge. By taking a moment before you respond, you can choose a different action, a more empowering action.
For example, instead of trying to change the things about them that bother you, you can choose to be grateful for the things you like about them. Is she a great parent? A thoughtful gift giver? Imaginary artist? When you think about the things you appreciate about them and feel grateful for those things, the annoying things seem less important. Keep your relationship strong and healthy by avoiding bad habits and focusing on creating good ones.
RELATED: 5 Ways We Unintentionally Create Toxic Relationships (And How To Avoid It)
