You may have heard of using positive affirmations to help refresh your thoughts so you can think more positively, but negative affirmations can have the opposite effect.

This is what narcissists do to people they are in relationships with, especially romantic relationships. Self-talk affirmations can change your subconscious thoughts. Repeating something over and over again gives it power because hearing something over and over again increases the likelihood that you will begin to believe it. In turn, these beliefs increase the likelihood that you will act in ways that confirm these beliefs.

This is basic neuroplasticity, which is your brain’s ability to change throughout your life – of course, depending on your habitual habits and thought processes. The truth is that your mind often cannot distinguish between something you imagine and something that happens in real life. Sometimes this can be incredibly useful if you are trying to train your mind to think more positive thoughts and take a more encouraging outlook on your future.

But when it comes to narcissists, this is where things get dark. Whether they realize what they are doing by repeating these assertions to you is irrelevant…the result is that you eventually start to believe what they are saying. This is because regularly repeating certain statements about yourself can encourage your mind to consider these affirmations as truth. When you believe something, your actions often follow. This is why people begin to fall into deep depression and develop various health conditions when they are in relationships with narcissistic people.

10 Lies Narcissists Want You to Believe

Lie #1 – You are no longer attractive

During the love bombing phase, the narcissist will likely make you feel very attractive and desirable. But over time, they start making small revisions about your appearance. It can be anything from the way you apply your makeup, to your hairstyle, to your clothes. Over time, they start making little statements to you to make you feel like you don’t look good anymore, or you don’t know how to dress or you don’t know how to apply makeup anymore. Even though you do things the same way you always do.

This is no coincidence. They honestly want you to believe that you’re not attractive because once they start devaluing you and getting rid of you, it makes it easier for them to keep you tied down, because you might have a feeling that it’s better to have bad love than love. Absolutely.
Second lie – You are mentally unstable

I work with a lot of very smart people who reach out to me for training or email me. These people are often doctors, lawyers, and therapists, and they are very intelligent, but somehow the narcissist in their life can convince them that they are not.

In turn, what often happens is that that person’s performance on the job begins to decline. They begin to feel less able to perform their job duties. Oftentimes, people end up getting fired because either: 1) their performance begins to decline, or 2) the narcissist won’t stop contacting them while they’re at work.

If this is happening to you, I really recommend turning your phone on silent while you work and making a concerted effort to not answer the narcissist’s calls, texts, or emails while you work.

Furthermore, if your romantic partner is saying things to you that make you feel like you’re not good at your job, that’s a burning red flag that you’re in the wrong relationship.
Lie #3 – No one will ever want you

I work with people who are not only smart but also attractive. I look at pictures of these people (if I have any) and think: “Oh, it’s so sad that this person has such low self-esteem.” This is because the narcissist made them feel that way; That no one wants them at all.

My response to that is that there are a lot of people in the world who would be interested in you. Furthermore, if you have a partner who says this kind of thing to you, it’s time to evaluate whether the relationship is worth staying in. Because the person who says such things to you does not care at all about your emotional well-being.
Lie #4 – You are a liar

There are two main reasons why a narcissist might call you a liar, which are: 1) They want to give you the impression that you’re more like them than you think, and 2) they can trigger your need to prove yourself, and you respond by spending hours a day, sending tons of emails. Lots of texting, calling your friends and family, and worrying about it, and you will be less focused on the fact that the narcissist is a liar.

Lie #5 – Your friends and family talk about you behind your back

They might say things like: “Your friends told me I didn’t trust you. I should have listened to them,” or “Your brother told me you would eventually start doing this.”

The narcissist does this because they want you to believe that they have allied with your friends and family so that you will be less likely to turn to them when you have relationship problems or need advice on what to do.

However, there are times during a breakup when your friends or family may side with the narcissist, and this is a very painful time for many people because it is during this time that you will have to decide whether or not to keep these people in your life. life. However, there is also a high possibility that your friends and family will never say these things and that the narcissist just wants you to feel alone and isolated. Because if they can keep you feeling lonely and isolated, they will have more influence over your thoughts and actions.
Lie #6 – You’ll never succeed without them

I encourage you… If a narcissist suggests that you quit your job to move in with him or work for his company, don’t do it.

If you already support yourself, you should continue to support yourself. I have never seen this work when someone quits their job to move in with a narcissist or to work for a narcissist’s company. It always ends in disaster. If you’re in charge of your livelihood, it’s best to keep it that way.
Lie #7 – You are no longer wanted

This lie is related to the first lie where they say you are no longer attractive.

I don’t think that way, but I’ve heard other people say things like: “Well, they’re kind of cute, but they’re not sexy.”

If your partner is making such statements to you, it means that he or she is not concerned about your emotional well-being or your feelings in general. They don’t care about hurting your feelings. A person who truly cares about you will not want to hurt your feelings. They will try to preserve your dignity at any cost.

Preserving your dignity is not something the narcissist cares about. Moreover, it is not normal for a partner to say such things that are considered offensive.
Lie #8 – They cheated on you because…

This could be for any number of reasons including some we’ve already covered. Narcissists never run out of (what they believe) justifiable reasons to cheat on you. And you can rest assured that every reason they come up with is just another lie.

Again, if this happens to you in your relationship, you must understand that not all partners or spouses cheat. This is not normal, and it is not as common as the narcissist thinks. There are people in this world who are completely devoted to their partners and spouses. And you deserve it too.
Lie #9 – Everyone wants them

In this case, there are two camps of people who want the narcissist. The first camp includes people who simply do not know who or what a narcissist is. The second camp, of course, is the people who are still attached to them because of the trauma…ex-partners, ex-spouses, ex-lovers. All the people the narcissist was involved with, unless they were strong enough to get out and stay out.

Understand, though, that the people in the first camp, are not as numerous as the narcissist thinks. What usually happens is that someone may smile at the narcissist or politely say hello. Suddenly, the narcissist imagines in his mind that this person wants him. This person may find the narcissist annoying, arrogant, or conceited. They may not like them at all, but the narcissist has already made up a story. But even more than that, they just want to make you jealous because they love triangulating people and making people jealous.

In short, not many people want a narcissist as much as they say they do.
Lie #10 – The new show changed her

This may be the biggest lie of all because no one changes a narcissist, not even their children. And if the narcissist’s children cannot change them, you can rest assured that no other sources of supply will be able to change them either.

This is why it is important not to follow a narcissist, and not to check their social media because the things a narcissist puts on social media are tailored to you.

Furthermore, we covered neuroplasticity earlier in this article and the effect of repeating things so much that you start to believe them. This is basically what you are doing to yourself when you hop on a narcissist’s social media and believe the pictures they post.

All these pictures are just an illusion. They are tools that make you believe that the narcissist has finally changed. It’s just that they won’t change for you.

I could talk about this all day until I’m blue in the face, but people persist in believing that the narcissist has changed for the new show. I promise you that if you stop looking at their social media and stop asking friends and family about the narcissist or doing the driving or whatever it is you do, you will stop believing this lie.

By the way, you’ve done all of these things too, so I’m not judging you, but I’m here to say that as long as you do all of that, you won’t be able to move forward. What’s more, all of these things don’t break any connection… When you go on their social media, when you drive, when you ask friends and family about the narcissist – you don’t break any connection.

If you do, you won’t be able to change your neural pathways. You will not be able to change your thought processes, which means the narcissist will keep you trapped in his reign of terror.

EndMisery

Imagine how powerful it is to know how to deal with narcissists and stand up to their horrific behavior.

Can you imagine what it would feel like to get your life back?

This is the outcome I love to help people achieve…to be free to live a happy, nourishing life without being confused or paralyzed by the narcissist’s games.