Are you wondering what to expect when a narcissist knows you like him or her? Maybe you’re thinking about disclosing them to people they know?
What could be more excusable than letting the narcissist know you’ve discovered him? That you’re on their game and you’re not going to take it anymore?
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but here’s a little secret: things won’t go your way.
When a narcissist knows that you know, he or she displays manipulative behaviors. The narcissist will never tremble with shame or finally see the light of reason. They will never let you shut down because their entire personality depends on them having the upper hand in every interaction.
When a narcissist knows you’re attacking him, things go from bad to hell before you can even process what’s happening — but that’s exactly the narcissist’s strategy.
What happens when a narcissist knows you like him?
If you are committed to exposing a narcissist, please read the list below before proceeding. In many cases, coming out as a narcissist can backfire and make things much worse for you.
Does this mean you have to put up with their abuse? of course not.
However, you should weigh the pros and cons of letting them know you discovered them.
Narcissists define the word “reactionary.” When a narcissist learns that you are stalking them, they release all their toxic and abusive traits up to 10 and go into Samson mode of complete self-destruction.
Plan your exit strategy first and then decide if it’s worth it because a narcissistic rage like you’ve never experienced before is coming.
1 – Gas lighting
The narcissist’s specialty: gaslighting. When you begin to expose a narcissist, he or she will do everything in his power to convince you that you are wrong.
“You’re remembering things incorrectly. That’s not what happened. You’re crazy!”
Gaslighting is their specialty as the first line of defense. It is much easier to use lies and manipulation to convince you that you are wrong than to admit to their abusive behavior.
2 – Hunting
Narcissists rely on so-called traumatic attachments to keep you hooked. When a narcissist knows you are attacking him, he will immediately goad you into a fight with severe insults about your character.
The goal is to get you up. For a narcissist, screaming, screaming, and crying are all signs that you still care about them.
Don’t fall for it. The best thing you can do is remain emotionless.
3- Fear and manipulation
Keep in mind that the narcissist has spent months or years dismantling your identity. They know more about you than you know about yourself.
“You will never find someone like me, and you will die alone.”
“How can you do this after everything I’ve done for you?”
When you expose them, they will tap into your deepest fears, flaws, and guilt to break you down and manipulate you into submission.
4 – Projection
What a fool! Can’t you see? They’re not narcissists, you are! (Or so they will try to convince you).
Be prepared because the narcissist will project all of his or her abusive traits, insecurities, and flaws onto you.
The narcissist knows that you are not like him. You feel normal emotions like guilt and compassion, but it doesn’t happen. They will project their abuse onto you because they assume you will accept it and apologize.
5 – Settlement
How can you call a narcissist a bad person when you, too, do some terrible things?
Who are you to evaluate a narcissist’s abusive behavior? You are not a psychologist. What gives you the right?
When a narcissist knows you like them, they will resort to something called compromise to bring you down to their level.
They will attack your integrity and past shortcomings to make their abuse seem normal and make you believe you have no foundation to stand on.
6- Devaluation of the currency
Narcissists always resort to devaluation during a relationship, but when the narcissist knows you’ve got it, the gloves come off.
Expect every slur and insult in the book to be hurled at you with a hate bombardment. Even if the narcissist was not previously physically abusive, now may be the time for physical violence to emerge.
Yes, it can get that bad.
7- Abuse
If you haven’t noticed yet, the narcissist is always the victim.
If you try to expose them, they will attack you because you brought up all their flaws after they had their “worst day” at work. They will blame their abusive behavior on a past relationship or a sob story about their upbringing (which probably isn’t true).
Even if you think the situation is a clear case of the narcissist hurting you and doing something wrong, he or she will miraculously wriggle out and assume a victim stance.
8 – Blackmail
Prepare to experience a level of revenge you could never imagine — especially if you expose the narcissist and refuse to give in after his initial outburst.
Narcissists are not at all above making you homeless, cleaning out your bank account, posting your intimate photos publicly, deliberately crashing your car, or withholding access to your children to get what they want from you.
These are their specialties.
9- Tarnishing your personality
If you publicly expose the narcissist to gain the upper hand, be prepared for massive damage control because the narcissist is an expert at ruining your name.
They will tell blatant lies about you to all your friends and even your family. If they visit a therapist (usually as a formality, validation, or to “prove” something to you), they will do nothing but talk smack about you.
These extreme reactions (such as defamation and blackmail) are why you should rethink your idea of exposing the narcissist.
10-Disposal
Then again, when a narcissist learns that you like them, they may decide that you’re not worth the effort anymore.
They will simply get rid of you when you expose them, spread lies about you, and find a new source.
What to do when a narcissist knows you like him
When the narcissist realizes that you are done, he will gaslight you whenever he has the opportunity to turn you back to the dark side. Don’t let them. They may threaten to harm themselves to get back at you; They are unpredictable due to their extreme lack of empathy and remorse.
It is highly recommended to seek help as soon as possible, as it may save your sanity. You have to stay clear and calm because they will use every trick in the book to make you think you are wrong and try to get a reaction out of you.
Now is the time to cling to your support system for the rest of your life because you will need it when the narcissist breaks down.
When the narcissist knows you’ve got him, it’s your cue to leave and never look back. No contact at this stage is crucial because the high level of abuse will not subside.
Is exposing a narcissist worth it?
Consider this: They will never let you close, so get that thought out of your head. Exposing them or letting them know you are with them accomplishes nothing other than allowing the narcissist to drag you back into an emotional battle.
Unfortunately, this is the best-case scenario. In the worst cases, they can turn violent and extremely vindictive. That’s why it’s usually not worth the short rush to call out the narcissist.
How does a narcissist react when he realizes that you no longer care?
When he realizes that you no longer care, the narcissist will turn your family and friends against you, especially if they realize that the relationship is disintegrating. It is essential for those who are in this type of situation, where leaving is difficult because of the narcissist’s emotional control over them, to take steps towards getting help before things get worse – either by seeking professional advice or simply talking about what the person needs to address. He can give honest feedback without getting emotionally invested in one way or another.
What happens when a narcissist is exposed?
Coming out as a narcissist can have dramatic, even dangerous, implications. Aside from this, narcissists have an almost supernatural ability to respond to your stories in a way that makes you seem like an unstable one. This is especially true when trying to warn the new show about who the narcissist is. While this may be fine in rare cases, it usually backfires in such a devastating way that it takes months or years to recover from.
