Dear Authorized Partner,
What I’m about to say is not something I’m going to say or admit (to you), because to do so would end the winner-takes-all game that is the main source of joy in life – the game that keeps you carrying my load in our relationship. And that’s the point.
#Can a narcissist love you?
Well, when I say “I love you” I mean I love how hard you work to make me feel like I’m your everything, that I’m the center of your life, that you want me to be happy, that I’ll never do that and you’re expected to do the same.
I love the power I have to tap into your kindness and intentions to be kind, and the pleasure I derive from making myself feel huge compared to you and taking every opportunity to make you feel small and insignificant.
Related: 8 Psychological Tricks To Break Up With The Worst Kind Of Narcissist
I love the feeling it gives me to think of you as weak, vulnerable, and emotionally tender, and I love to look down on you for your innocence and childish naivety, as a weakness.
I love the way I feel when I know that through gaslighting, what you want to discuss or address will never happen, and I love this “power” to train you to feel “crazy” for even bringing up or bringing up issues that have nothing to do with the topic. I’m not interested in lowering your expectations of me and what I can offer you while raising your expectations of me.
I love how easy it is to keep your sole focus on relieving my pain (never yours!), and that no matter what you do, you’ll never make me feel like I’m good enough, loved enough, respected enough, valued enough, and so on. (Misery loves company.)
(It’s not about the closeness, sympathy, or emotional connection you want, or what I did that hurt or embarrassed you, or how little time I spend interacting with you or the kids, etc. It’s about my place and doing my job to keep you where you are, hurting Focusing on feeling my pain prevents you from feeling appreciated. For me, I am superior and entitled to all the pleasure, admiration, and comfort between us, remember?)
“I love you” means that I love the way I feel when you are with me, and more specifically, regarding you as a piece of property that I own, my life. Like driving a hot car, I love the extent to which it enhances my standing in the eyes of others, lets them know I’m the best, etc. I like to think that other people are jealous of my possessions.
I love the power I have to make you work hard to prove your love and devotion, and I wonder what else you have to do to “prove” your loyalty.
“I love you” means I like the way I feel when I’m with you. Given how often I hate and look down on others in general, the mirror neurons in my brain cause me to constantly experience feelings of self-loathing; Thus, I love that I can love myself through you, and I also love to hate you for my “need” to depend on you or anyone for anything.
I like to have someone to take the blame when I feel this “want”; Feeling contempt for you seems to protect me from something I hate to admit, which is that I feel completely dependent on you to “feed” my sense of superiority and entitlement, to keep the illusion of power alive in my mind.
(Nothing makes me feel more fragile and vulnerable than not being able to control something that would tarnish my image and superior status, like when you wonder “how” I treat you as if you still don’t understand that making you accept yourself as something is my pleasure, happy regardless About the way I treat you or the children – is a major proof of my superiority to the world, you are mine, do you remember that it is my job to teach you to hate and act cruelly towards you those “crazy” things that only “weak” people need, like “closeness” and “things emotional”; and by the way, I know this “works” because my childhood taught me to do this to myself on the inside.)
It makes me feel happy (more proof of my superiority) because I can easily make you flustered, make you act “crazy” for not getting what you want from me, make you repeat yourself, and say and do things you don’t want from me. You will hate yourself later (because of your “niceness”!).
Everything you say, any pains or complaints you share, rest assured, I will make fun of you later, to make you constantly spin around, always trying to explain yourself, always doubting yourself and feeling confused, trying to figure out why. I don’t get it.
(There’s nothing to be gained! To break the code, you have to look through my lens, not mine! It’s my job to demonstrate complete disinterest in your emotional needs, your pain, and your desires, and to coach, dismiss, and punish accordingly until you learn the “lesson,” which is: to take your place as a voiceless thing, possessiveness has no desire except to serve my pleasure and comfort, and has absolutely no say in how I treat you after all the ways I’ve mistreated you, to me, that’s proof of my genetic superiority in my book, those with genes They are never good, except to lure and trap their victims!)
I love making you feel insecure at the drop of a hat, especially by caring about other women (and probably also others in general, friends, family members, kids… the list is endless). What power this gives me to offer what you do not get from me, to taunt you and make you beg for what I so easily give to others, and I wonder why it is so easy to give what you want to others, or to express your feelings or affection, to offer praise, that is, when it serves my happiness (In this case, your vision is squirming.)
I love the power I have to get you back whenever you threaten to leave, by throwing little crumbs your way, and watching how quickly I can convince you to trust me when I unlock the charm, tricking you into thinking, this time, I’m a change.
“I love you” means I need you because because of the self-loathing I carry inside me, I need someone who won’t give up on me and who I can use as a punching bag, to make myself feel good by making him feel bad about me. themselves. (This is how I enjoy myself, and the way I’m drugged, and in denial of the scary feelings I carry inside of me that I wish I could never, ever admit to. I hate any signs of weakness in me, and that’s why I hate you, and all the “nice weaklings” I consider inferior, stupid, weak, etc.)
“I love you” means that I love to reform and shape your thoughts and beliefs, and control your mind so that you consider me your miracle and your savior, the source of life and livelihood on which you depend, and your return to life. , like gravity, no matter how far you try to fly away or jump.
I love that it makes me feel like a god, that you keep me so focused (obsessed…) with making me feel worshiped and adored, that you sacrifice everything for me to prove yourself so that I don’t judge or reject you, that I strive not to please anyone else, and of course, with the only rights to… Manage rewards and punishments as I wish.
I love how I can use my power to keep you down, doubting yourself, questioning your sanity, obsessing over-explaining yourself to me (and others), declaring your loyalty, wondering what’s wrong with you (rather than realizing that I can’t make a “happy” person derive a sense of power and joy From feeling contempt towards the weak who allow me to take advantage of them… like you!).
“I love you” means that I love the way I feel when I see myself through your admirer’s eyes, that you are my dope I feel happy, my devoted fan, my biggest fan and admirer, etc. Training you to look up to Me, never to question Me, and to gladly bow down to serve Me as a never-falling, all-knowing, all-powerful source of knowledge is my ultimate goal—my favorite medicine.
Related: I Understand The Warped Mind Of A Narcissist Because I Used To Be One
