He orders you and you feel special and cared for. He walks off the street when you walk to the restaurant. He exudes sex appeal. When in the pose, his chest puffs out, and he stands taller with his chin up. He exudes chemistry.
He may want to sit on the same side of the table. He will touch you a lot, or if you are not one to show your affection in public, he will quickly pick up on it and internalize you. Magician is his middle name. It wouldn’t be surprising if he brought you a gift.
Sounds a lot like the perfect guy, doesn’t he? I know, and that’s what makes it scary.
So is there a way to know how to spot a narcissist on a first date without them breaking your heart in the end?
#How to spot a narcissistic person immediately on the first date:
1. It’s always being talked about.
The narcissist can’t help but turn his attention back to himself in the conversation. No matter what you talk about, he will take the first opportunity to talk about his own experiences. On a first date, he’s charming because he’s charismatic and funny. You may feel a little hurt because he’s not curious about you, but you can ignore it because you don’t want to hurt his feelings.
2. He doesn’t show real interest in you.
At the end of the night, is there anything he knows about you? Have you heard stories from childhood to the present day? Did he tell you about trips, pets, and politics? Was he obsessed with wine tasting, sports, or cars? If you feel a little neglected on the first date, don’t turn him down.
3. He’s impatient and entitled.
Watch to see how he handles delays and interference. If your table isn’t ready or the waiter is inattentive, then the narcissist is having a fit. Complaints, accusations of poor service, and bad tips are all ways to spot a narcissist on a first date.
Related: 7 Cunning Psychological Tactics Narcissists Use To Avoid Accountability
4. He’s picky about where you sit.
Your data may be picky about where you sit in a restaurant. He will want a table in a dominant spot and certainly not near the kitchen or in the back corner. Narcissists see themselves as special and worthy of admiration and appreciation and expect special treatment to go along with that.
5. He makes you feel special so he can get something from you.
When a narcissist cares about something you have and feels like you can meet his needs, he will be all about you. They are experts at making you feel special; From ordering for you at the restaurant to taking care of you while walking in traffic, they will impress you with your attention. It’s all about satisfying their hunger for money, control, or sex that stimulates their affection for you.
6. It requires your full attention.
Narcissists do not do well when they are distracted by someone or something else. He may be sarcastic and tease you about the time you spend on your cell phone or the time you spend talking about your day. An expert at stealing the conversation, it won’t be long before he’s talking about himself again. He likes to be the center of attention.
Related: How To Stay With A Partner Who Is Narcissistic AF
7. He has social intelligence.
Your partner may be charming and sociable with the wait staff and other diners as long as they provide him with attention and excellent service. He may have strong social skills and can easily engage others in conversation. But if you watch and listen, you will find that they are a new audience that hears his stories and laughs at his jokes. Although it seems like he is communicating with others, it is all about him.
8. He criticizes everything
Listen to a series of complaints about his life, his job, his living situation, or whatever he’s talking about. Narcissists constantly find fault. They mail you anything they consider an inconvenience. He may run a red light because he thinks it’s been red for too long and he’s tired of the city government controlling traffic flow. (True story!)
9. He brags about the amount of money and time he spends on you.
Obsessed with feeling appreciated and upset when he feels rejected, your partner may make sure you know how expensive dinner is and how much trouble he went to getting reservations or some other veiled complaint about all the trouble he’s had… just for you. No matter how grateful you are, you will never feel like he believes it.
10. You have disastrous chemistry.
The classic signs of narcissism are sexual charm and chemistry. According to Jeffrey Kluger of the New Republic, “Men who score high on narcissism, impulsive thrill-seeking, or exploitation — not to mention those who score high on each, which some do — also tend to outperform other men in several sexual relations. Meetings any week, month, or year.”
Good girls are inexplicably attracted to bad boys. The hotter the chemistry, the faster you have to escape.
If your partner has any of these tendencies, they may be within the normal range of narcissism, which means you can handle this challenge with a sense of humor and clear boundaries. But if warning signs appear, respect them.
