At any time, on any day, you may encounter a narcissist. He or she could be a partner, parent, sibling, boss, or friend.

If you have a narcissist in your life, you know how difficult it is to reason with them.

It’s an emotional rollercoaster that drains your energy, time, and morale.
Learning how to deal with a narcissist is not easy. It takes a lot of focus, courage, practice, skill, and maybe even therapy.

Before anything else, I want you to know this: You are not alone.

I’m here to help you with smart, simple steps you can take to deal with a narcissist and protect your peace of mind.

Let’s jump!

1) Don’t give them your attention
Better yet, ignore their bad behavior.

Well, I know what you’re thinking: It’s not easy to walk away from a narcissist, especially when the person has a way of pushing your buttons.

But consider this: Any interaction with a narcissist results in a power struggle.

You see, narcissists thrive on attention and feedback. They like to manipulate and control the conversation and gain power over you when you are stimulated.

In other words: they want you to deal with them and lose your temper.

So instead of responding to the narcissist’s manipulative tactics, try to remain calm and disengaged.

One easy way to do this is to keep your conversations brief and to the point.

For example, you can simply respond with “yes” or “no” answers. Focus on the facts and redirect the conversation as much as possible.

If the narcissist tries to dominate the conversation and tries to get a harsh reaction from you, don’t think twice before ending the conversation.

At the end of the day, remember that there is no point in talking if the conversation is one-sided.

2) Set and maintain clear boundaries
Here’s the deal: Boundaries are extremely important when interacting with narcissists.

This is because they often do not realize how much harm their behavior causes. They can be excessively demanding of your time.
Worse still, they treat you with disrespect.

How can you stop falling into this cycle of abuse?

Set boundaries and be clear about them.

Let them know what you expect from the relationship or conversation at the very least. Learn to say “no” when the narcissist is intrusive.

You’re probably wondering: How does that work?

Here are some ways to create a healthy space between you and the narcissist:

• Tell them that you will not put up with their lies, insults, and sarcasm.
• If you need to, say, “You need to stop treating me this way. If you do that, I’m going to have to take a step back.”
• Limit the time you spend talking to them. For example, if you have a narcissistic colleague, simply say to him: “I need to spend some time with my family after work. Please don’t call me after work hours.”
• Tell them that you will not talk to them if they yell at you, swear at you, insult you, or criticize you. Tell them that you will not tolerate it when they insult you with words. If this happens, stay away.
• Be gentle but firm. Stick to your boundaries and don’t let someone’s narcissistic behavior steal your peace and harm your mental health.

But here’s the problem: More often than not, narcissists cross the line.

Trust will always be an issue when you’re dealing with narcissists because they have no problem breaking the rules.

So, if the narcissist continues to disrespect your boundaries, it’s okay to cut ties for your well-being.

3) Don’t think you can change it
A common mistake that anyone dealing with a narcissist can make is to expect that the person will change.

Think about this: Have you ever tried to reason with a narcissist, change their mind, and even challenge them in the hopes that they would get rid of their irrational behavior?
Or maybe you’ve said to yourself several times: “Maybe this time will be different. If I try harder and explain it this way, maybe he (or she) will understand.”

The next thing you know, the narcissist becomes colder and more manipulative.

And it gets worse: the narcissist attacks you, blames you and criticizes everything you do.

If that’s you, that’s okay. Many people fall into the narcissist’s trap.

Save yourself all the pain of anger and disappointment by accepting that change likely won’t happen.

Well, I know what you’re thinking: It’s hard to believe that someone could be so cold and sensitive. There must be a way forward.

The truth is: There is no simple way to determine whether or not a narcissist is capable of change.

Several studies have shown that therapy can help, and research also suggests that some narcissists can develop empathy when they practice taking another person’s perspective.

But here’s the thing: It’s difficult—impossible even—to kill a narcissist’s ego.

You see, narcissists have this false sense of self – they believe they are better than everyone else. They can’t see that they have a problem or they simply don’t care.

Ultimately, the biggest obstacle to a narcissist’s ability to change is his or her narcissism.

What does that mean to you?

This means that the best way forward is to always expect the worst and prepare for it as much as possible.

4) Don’t take it personally
Repeat after me: “It’s not my fault. There’s nothing wrong with me.

These self-affirmations are important because it can be difficult not to take a narcissist’s verbal attacks personally.

Have you been blamed by your boss for a problem that is his responsibility? Have you been bullied — verbally or physically — by a family member, friend, or partner?

Trust me, I know how you feel. I have experienced what it is like to be criticized and insulted by a narcissist. Many times I doubted myself.

Here’s what I’ve learned: It’s not really about you or anything you’ve done.

You see, narcissists act the way they do because they need constant validation.

In other words: their selfish tendencies are rooted in their insecurities.

So the next time a narcissist puts you down, try taking the high road. Don’t respond by insulting yourself.

Look at the situation objectively and ask yourself: What part did you do wrong? Is this person trying to manipulate me?

5) Be kind and respectful
This is related to signature number 4.

If you’ve been with a narcissist long enough, you’ll know that they like to pick a fight.

And if you don’t resist the urge to fight, it’s a recipe for disaster – they won’t take it well and will punish you for challenging them.

Instead of opposing the narcissist, try to remain calm. Listen to what they are thinking and feeling while also reiterating your boundaries.

Here are some examples of how to respond with empathy and respect. Try to use these phrases to your advantage when talking to a narcissist.

“We have different views on this matter, so we have to agree to disagree.”
“I can understand why you felt that way, but I can’t control how you feel about me.”
“Can we try to be more respectful in how we communicate with each other?”
“We won’t be able to understand each other if you keep yelling at me.”
“Please don’t cut me short when I try to explain my side.”
“I would like to know how we can maintain a respectful relationship.”

6) Lean on your support system

I can’t overemphasize this: you don’t have to go through this alone.

Dealing with a narcissist can be extremely stressful – emotionally, mentally, and physically – so you must surround yourself with a strong support system.

Make sure you have healthy relationships with family members and close friends. It’s important to have people you can share everything with.

This inner circle will be the safe space to share the truth about your experiences. He will give you the confidence, love, and kindness you need when things get tough.

And if you’re struggling with anxiety, loneliness, depression, and self-doubt, don’t be afraid to seek professional help.

Talk to a counselor or therapist who can guide you and help you understand what you’re going through.

They can point you in the right perspective and help you decide on the best approach to dealing with the narcissist in your life.

Most importantly, they will help you see that there is nothing wrong with you.

7) Love yourself
What is the smartest way to deal with a narcissistic person?

Build your self-esteem and prioritize your overall health and well-being.

Here’s the deal: No matter how narcissistic you feel, you have the power to maintain your sanity. You control how you respond to them.

In other words: Yes, you can show them some compassion and empathy. But nothing is worth risking your peace of mind.

Ultimately, loving yourself is what matters most.

I know this is easier said than done, but self-care strategies like practicing gratitude, mindfulness, and positive affirmations can help you move forward on your healing journey.

LastWords

Remember this: Loving yourself also means respecting yourself enough to know when it’s time to walk away.

Think about that for a minute.

The truth is: that not all life’s battles can be won. If you feel that dealing with the narcissist in your life is causing you too much distress, consider ending your relationship with him or her.

When times of distress come, staying as far away from the narcissist as possible is the best thing you can do for yourself.