There are some phrases that really stand out when someone is being arrogant and condescending.
Some of them may have passed under your radar!
If someone is harassing you and you don’t know why, try taking a look at these 10 phrases.
The reason for your upset is likely the hidden arrogance and condescension in their words.
1) “You can do better than that”
This is a very subtle way of expressing condescension, and it flies under the radar most of the time because it can easily pass for encouragement.
But while some people may say “You can do better than that!” Seriously, most of the time, this is actually nothing more than a lack of commitment – a way to negate the effort someone has put into their work or presentation.
The most constructive way to say that someone could do better is to first praise them, tell them they can improve somewhat, and then make a specific suggestion.
So, if you don’t want to be like them, say something like, “That sounds great!” But if you’re open to criticism, there are some things that could use improvement.
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It takes more words, but is generally kinder and more respectful.
2) “Yes, well…everyone knows that.”
As tempting as it may be to say “Oh, everyone knows that” when someone shares something, well… well-known fact, don’t do it.
It’s not good to say that. And besides, it is annoying because even if certain topics have been discussed several times, there is always something new about that topic to talk about.
So, if someone you know has no problem at all saying it out loud, they are definitely arrogant and condescending even if they don’t think so.
It’s ultimately a way to silence people and make them feel bad for even bringing it up in the first place, because everyone knows it. They must be living under a rock not knowing!
3) “I don’t mean to brag, but…”
The moment someone says this phrase, you can be sure they actually mean to brag.
It’s just that they don’t want you to feel bad about yourself. And of course, they don’t want you to think they’re high-ranking and powerful…and you’re bragging.
It would actually be less offensive if they directly admitted that they were bragging.
Simply saying “I’m very good at driving” is not insulting to say the least, while saying “I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a good driver” is major evidence of arrogance.
It also means they realize they’re so much better than you… because in the end, just saying that means they realize you might be envious and think they’re bragging.
4) “Just a friendly reminder…”
Unless the person saying this is a broadcaster or an official organizer trying to distribute public service announcements, be wary the moment you hear those words from someone’s mouth.
You can be pretty sure that most of the time their reminder is not friendly. If anything, he would likely be passive aggressive and condescending.
In a way, he’s basically saying “I guess you don’t care to remember this, so I’ll remind you and bring it home that I think you forgot!”
And of course they will say it with a fake smile to make you shiver.
5) “You should already know this by now”
Whether it’s said sympathetically or mentioned in passing, no one likes to be told, “You should already know this.”
If it is so obvious that one should already know it, there is no point in saying that statement.
It’s just a way of telling someone they’re a dummy because they don’t know something they obviously should know by now.
The best way to check if someone knows about something is to simply ask about it, regardless of whether it is something that seems “obvious” or “common knowledge.”
They can say, “Sorry, but you know that, right?” For example. Or “Did you forget this? I can help you.”
6) “You’re completely missing my point.”
If it’s really hard to bridge that gap and understand, the best way to end the conversation is to simply admit that they’ll never get along and… stop.
7) “Just relax”
Phrases like “just relax,” “just calm down,” and “calm down a little” are the last words an unrelaxed person wants to hear.
If you think about it, they must have tried their best to calm down and failed. Telling them to calm down is essentially invalidating what they are feeling and will only make them angry.
People prefer to have someone ask them why they are upset and ask them if there is anything they can do to help.
After all… who doesn’t want to be relaxed?
8) “But…is it so easy?”
This phrase tells people one thing, which is that they are not ready to look at things from their point of view.
The problem is that sometimes people have difficulties doing things that others find easy as pie, and they get used to getting fired for it.
Someone who says things like “Oh, but this is so easy!” and “I did it in one day, how hard could it be?” He is someone who is not willing to sympathize.
They think: “If I can do it, why can’t others do it too?”
9) “If I were you…”
This is one of those relatively acceptable phrases when a parent says it to a child looking for advice… but it’s probably condescending in all other circumstances.
Unless someone is specifically asking another person what they would do in their situation, telling them “If I were you…” is a form of insult.
It’s basically a very simple way of saying “I don’t trust your judgement, I think I can make better decisions than you.”
When in doubt, if you find someone who keeps saying things like “If only I were you” and tries to offer their own solutions to someone else’s problem without warning, they are arrogant in their self-confidence.
10) “No offense, but…”
This is a favorite statement of arrogant people.
They have variations of it such as:
“Okay, I’m not trying to be rude but…”
“I don’t want to sound like an idiot but…”
The moment you hear that kind of statement, you turn to stone. Be prepared to expect an offensive statement.
Related : 7 signs you’re actually the one creating drama in your family
This is a hedged phrase, used to “soften” the blow of a harsh statement, although in most cases it only makes matters worse.
When someone says this, it means they are well aware that whatever they have to say is actually quite offensive and yet they somehow feel compelled to say it no matter what.
The person who says, “No offense, but your fashion sense is bad” is undoubtedly much more condescending than the person who simply says, “I think your fashion sense is really bad.”
With the latter, they at least give you the right to respond to what they think and say.
LastWords
If you’re trying to determine whether someone is truly arrogant and condescending, pay attention to these phrases.
Also make sure to capture their tone of voice while doing so.
Trust your feelings. If you’ve ever felt like you’re being insulted every time you talk to someone, they’re probably being patronizing.
But what do you do then, if you’re with someone just like him?
The best way to deal with it is to simply avoid it or at least reduce contact with it. Don’t think you can change them, because only they can change themselves.