Once the honeymoon period in a new relationship is over, cracks often start to appear.

Suddenly, those once charming quirks suddenly became not so charming. Or maybe you start arguing regularly over trivial things.

Just because you’re in a committed, secure relationship doesn’t mean you have to be completely comfortable.

Of course, by all means, be comfortable! But I’ll be honest: There is such a thing as too comfortable.

If you want your union to last, be practical about how you move forward, such as avoiding certain controversial customs.

In this article, I’ll walk you through the behaviors your partner may quietly hold against you, which are the things you should be concerned about, if you’re involved in them long-term.

Let’s go for it!

1) Constant use of the phone
It wouldn’t be a 21st century love story without technology (particularly smartphones) being involved in one way or another.

If you’re constantly glued to your phone, especially during high-quality activities like meals, conversation, or movie time, it’s not only annoying, it can make your partner feel neglected and undervalued.

Once this becomes a lifestyle, your other half will likely realize that this behavior is unsustainable; At this point, expect resentment to grow at a rapid pace.

My ex had a very large number of followers on Instagram.

It’s as if every waking hour, she’s mindlessly scrolling through her feed, mindlessly anticipating a new notification.

When we would go out to dinner, she would be so engrossed in her virtual double life that it would be like talking to a brick wall.

If she’s not on her phone, she’ll be on her laptop or tablet.

Her paraphernalia was certainly not just drugs or gambling, but it represented a proper addiction nonetheless.

Over time, this behavior really affected me. I saw the lack of basic consideration as a red flag.

And sure enough I was right, after some arguments, we decided to take a break.

2) Poor listening skills
You’ve heard it before: Communication is the bedrock of any effective relationship.

Therefore, making an extra effort to actively listen will pay off.

If you’re frequently interrupting your partner or ignoring the conversation (or… shifting your attention to your phone) while they’re talking, that’s a pretty clear sign of disrespect.

Eventually, your partner will feel rejected and ignored, in other words, this could be the beginning of the end.

Time to form.

3) Excessive criticism
Frequent criticism or criticism will negatively affect your partner’s self-worth and eventually make them reluctant to share things with you.

As their partner, you are supposed to represent a safe space; If you can’t, it’s not a good omen for the fate of your relationship.

Your critical comments don’t have to be directed only toward your partner.

If you exude a generally negative aura, and are always complaining and insulting others in your surroundings, this action will get old quickly.

At the end of the day, no one wants to be around that kind of energy, especially those you have an intimate relationship with.

4) Jealousy and possessiveness
Unfounded jealousy is repulsive, mainly because it is rooted in deep insecurity.

If you make a fuss or ask probing questions every time your partner chooses to spend time with others or act independently, it will make them feel trapped, claustrophobic, and mistrustful.

It’s also quite claustrophobic.

If they’ve never given you a reason to be jealous, I hate to break it to you: It’s you, not them.

Start by acknowledging their independence and uniqueness as a person, or expect some well-deserved turmoil in the future.

5) Lack of affection

I think it’s a safe assumption that for the majority of people, affection is an absolute necessity in a relationship.

If you don’t often show affection or intimacy toward your partner, I’m telling you right now, it’s smart to take steps toward correcting this behavior.

Because if there’s no affection, it’s pretty much just a platonic/roommate relationship, right?

Feeling unloved and unwanted is not a great way to go about life, especially when dating.

So, start practicing hugging yourself or sending words of affirmation from time to time, it will do wonders in your relationship.

Showing affection costs nothing, after all.

6) Lack of sharing responsibilities
This is a big problem and the reason for many breakups.

When things are one-sided regarding household chores, financial obligations, or other shared duties, your partner will feel burdened.

Expect contempt to start growing.

It’s a relationship, you’re supposed to be a co-pilot, not a passenger. Neither of you should turn into a home helper.

I learned this the hard way.

My ex-husband used to keep our apartment very tidy. She was admirably disciplined in the way she carried out daily tasks.

I had my chores too, like walking the dogs in the afternoon and washing the dishes.

Usually, I would put these things off as long as possible, and sometimes, I wouldn’t quite do them.

In hindsight, this double standard was the root cause of many of our issues.

She felt resentment toward me for a number of reasons, one of which was my lack of courtesy toward household chores.

And I can’t blame her. I needed to be better, and I don’t realize it until it’s too late.

7) Unexpected mood swings
No one wants to have to constantly walk on eggshells in a relationship — that kind of defeats the purpose of being in one’s relationship.

So, if you are moody or hostile without explaining why, this can create a toxic and hostile environment, which, if not controlled, will erode your partner’s affection for you.

Over time, they may come to their senses and separate forever.

There is no excuse for constant mood swings, even high stress levels.

If this is your case, I suggest addressing your issues and underlying triggers.

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and empathize with them.

Seek professional help if necessary.

Life is short – no one wants that kind of baggage and ups and downs hanging over them.

8) Taking without giving
Just like the hit song by New Radicals says: You only get what you give.

Remember that a relationship is a partnership and the last thing it should be is one-sided.

If you periodically take support, resources, or time from your partner and rarely reciprocate these gestures, he or she will feel used and disrespected.

Successful relationships require effort and compromise, so if you want a harmonious life, start doing both willingly.

Let’s say one weekend you made your partner watch your favorite TV show for hours on end, and be willing to do the same to him the next weekend, even if you don’t like that type of show right away.

It’s the opinion that counts.

Try not to perpetuate double standards, it’s not fair.

LastWords

The great thing is that in most cases, with a little effective communication, these problems can be corrected.

If both parties are willing to put in the time, it is a sign of a lasting and successful relationship.

So talk about it – sometimes, we don’t realize things until we verbalize them.

Be solution-oriented and committed to change. If you run out of strength, regroup and continue.

It’s a process.