Fraud can be difficult to detect. It is often intentionally hidden and designed to trick you.
But even when you feel like someone is trying to manipulate your emotions to control or deceive you, what then?
It can be very helpful to have some tricks to get around their attempts.
So let’s take a look at some powerful strategies to protect yourself and maintain control in manipulative situations.
1) Know what to be careful of
Most important things first.
This may seem like an obvious point, but we must recognize the manipulation techniques first. As I highlighted in the introduction, it’s not always that easy.
Related : 10 signs you’re dealing with a master manipulator (according to psychology)
Learn about common manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, guilt tripping, and playing the victim.
Be on the lookout for subtle signs of manipulation such as excessive compliments or constant criticism.
Sometimes that means trusting your intuition about people. If something feels uncomfortable or uncomfortable, listen to your intuition.
2) Don’t give them leverage
When you know someone has manipulative tendencies, avoid giving them any power over you in the first place.
For example:
Refuse the services of manipulators so as not to become indebted to them
Avoid giving them personal information or telling them your secrets that they may later use against you
If you must have them in your life, consciously keep them at arm’s length
Limit the time you spend with them where possible
3) Be logical and keep calm
It’s tempting to look for revenge when dealing with a manipulator.
We want to find the perfect thing to say to hit them where it hurts and get the upper hand.
But the truth is that the best psychological tactic is to refuse to engage in their mind games.
They want you to bite again.
They get their kicks from your reactions. That’s why one of the best acts of revenge is to not give them that.
I know that facing manipulation can be incredibly exciting. But if you can maintain your composure, it will be a great service to you.
Not only will it frustrate them that your trap doesn’t work, but maintaining your composure can help you think clearly and avoid falling into their traps.
Even if you’re boiling on the inside, don’t give them the satisfaction of showing it.
4) Disarm them with this clever hack
When a manipulator tries to push your buttons, be everything you’re not.
Take 100% responsibility for yourself and keep your hands off any mistakes.
For example, let’s say a manipulator is going after you about something.
They spoil fights, overly criticize, try to exaggerate events, and say anything that makes you disagree.
Surprise them by refusing to get defensive.
Don’t give them anything to disagree on by saying something like:
“Yes, maybe you’re right” or “You have a point.”
Then quickly change the subject. Shift the focus to something else or ask them a question.
Not caring about being manipulated will end up hurting them a lot more.
5) Play when it is easiest to do so
Sometimes the best thing you can do is let the potential manipulator stay in his own selfish little world.
You don’t have to join them in it.
When you watch safely from the outside, you won’t be drawn in.
As long as you’re not buying their bachelor’s degree, ask yourself:
Does it even matter?
Sometimes it’s our ego that wants to meet fire with fire. But in doing so, we create unnecessary suffering for ourselves.
If you can limit contact with them and manipulate them only in the form of words, let them continue with their delusions.
Show compassion toward the manipulator, but don’t let it cloud your judgment.
By understanding their feelings, you can anticipate their next moves and protect yourself.
The same applies to your awareness of your feelings and how they play a role, as we will see later.
7) Be aware of your emotions
Manipulators often exploit emotions to gain control.
Let’s face it:
If you can turn off your emotions, the manipulator won’t stand a chance.
But you are human, and this is impossible.
What you can do is learn how to understand and in the process you can better control your emotions.
Try to be as aware as possible of your emotional state when you interact with the manipulator.
Awareness alone can be enough to help you regulate your emotions instead of losing control.
For example, name the feelings you have about yourself in your head.
Research has shown that this helps loosen the grip emotions have on us.
Related : 8 clever ways to show a master manipulator you won’t play their games
We become observers of our emotional reactions rather than being carried away by them.
8) Ask for clarification
Neutral questions can become another ally when dealing with a manipulator.
Don’t assume, ask for clarification. This shifts the focus back on them.
For example, when a manipulator makes a confusing or misleading statement, ask for more details.
Things like:
What do you mean?
Can you explain that a little more?
This tactic forces them to explain themselves and can expose their manipulative ways.
9) Practice assertiveness
I hate confrontation, and I know I’m not alone.
However, developing assertiveness skills is vital in life. This way you learn how to defend yourself.
Manipulators tend to target individuals who lack this skill. If you show them that you can’t be pressured, they will move on to someone else.
Even if you don’t feel particularly confident, fake it until you make it.
10) Pay attention to your non-verbal communication
One way to give the impression of confidence is through body language.
Your words may say the right things, but the manipulator may still feel like they’ve gotten to you if your nonverbal communication gives away the game.
Pay attention to how relaxed your body language is. Do not cross your arms or stiffen.
Pay attention to your facial expressions, too.
Briefly:
Maintain confident and assertive nonverbal cues to demonstrate your strength.
11) Harness the power of this little two-letter word
This word is no.
It’s so simple, but many of us don’t say it enough.
It can be uncomfortable to turn people down, even when we think someone is being unreasonable in their demands.
But you have to practice it. Manipulators often rely on people’s inability to say no to their demands.
We have to learn to say “no” firmly and confidently. As you do, it gets easier over time.
Having some pre-prepared phrases can help with this. This way, when you’re there, you won’t have to think too much.
For example:
This won’t work for me
I won’t be able to do that
I’m not comfortable saying yes to that right now
12) Buy time using delaying tactics
While you feel more comfortable saying no, try buying time instead.
If the manipulator intentionally puts you in an awkward situation, give yourself some space to think.
Tell them:
“I’ll come back to you”
“Let me think about that”
He refused to respond immediately.
13) Set clear boundaries
Some of our psychological tricks listed will help you quickly get out of the dilemma of dealing with manipulators.
But in the long run, the best defense comes in the form of boundaries.
When we want to avoid being taken advantage of, we must set clear boundaries and be able to communicate them to others.
Manipulators often take advantage of those who are indifferent to them.
If it helps, literally write down the “do’s and don’ts” when it comes to this person.
If you don’t know where to draw the line, you can’t force it with them.
14) Don’t fall into the traps of pleasing people
Do you want to cut off the power of a manipulator?
Then cut off any people-pleasing tendencies.
These desires to be loved or not rock the boat make us willing prey for their predatory behavior.
this means:
Stop apologizing all the time
Don’t let them trick you with saying “sorry” when you have nothing to be sorry about.
Don’t buy into their guilt trips
When they try to emotionally blackmail you, step back and try to see things as objectively as possible.
To break habits that are truly people-pleasing, you need to focus on your self-care to build your self-esteem.
Building your self-love is a long-term strategy, but it’s totally worth it.
This will ultimately make you less vulnerable to the games of manipulators.
15) Find strength in numbers
It is important to remember that you do not need to confront the manipulator alone.
You can find allies and ask for support.
If the manipulation is occurring in a professional setting, such as the workplace, document your interactions.
Keep a log that includes specific dates, times, and events. This can be a useful guide later and help you maintain clarity about what is happening.
If it becomes too much, you can always confide in friends, family or professionals about what’s going on.
