If you met a master manipulator, would you know it?
Most people would say yes, but the truth is that the answer is in the question itself.
A truly accomplished manipulator will not show his hand and tends to slip through the cracks. Even the most seasoned observer and expert on behavior may miss subtle signs that someone is not being honest and just wants to exploit or mislead.
This article will give you deeper insights into how to spot a master manipulator and expose his psychological deception and emotional blackmail.
Let’s dive in!
1) Your fault
The guiding principle of a master manipulator is to make others think there is something wrong with them and doubt themselves.
One of the most effective ways to do this is to make others feel guilty or like they have overstepped their bounds in some way.
Master manipulators will make people feel this way by pretending to be insulted, pretending to be emotionally aggrieved, or pretending to be hurt or shocked in some way.
Whether he claims he’s triggered when in reality he’s not or he acts like you’re selfish or neglectful toward him, the key tactic here is to make you feel like you’ve done something wrong when you actually haven’t.
2) Playing the victim
One of the best ways to make someone feel guilty is to play the victim, which is why master manipulators return to this tried-and-true tactic all the time.
By presenting themselves as a victim and focusing on how life treats them unfairly, they make anyone who disagrees with them or stands up to them feel guilty or wrong.
The master manipulator often plays the victim in order to act as if any criticism of them is inherently unfair or a form of bullying.
This is not the case in reality, of course.
3) Low-level threats
Manipulators are not above threats and intimidation when they feel it will be effective.
Whether it’s in the workplace, personal relationships or any other area of life, the manipulator will try to get his way by making it clear that the benefits of doing what he wants outweigh the costs.
They will insinuate or even explicitly mention the consequences and negative reactions on their part if you don’t do what they want and they will scare you that way.
4) Playing dumb
Another favorite tactic of genius manipulators is to simply play dumb.
By pretending not to understand what you are asking or what is required of them, they immerse themselves in a negative situation and are able to stay with it in a selfish and exploitative frame of mind.
Manipulators often pretend not to understand the feelings or point of view of the person they are interacting with.
In fact, they understand very well but simply do not want to admit a mistake or do not want to change their approach or make up for something they have done.
5) Sarcastic sarcasm
Sarcasm can be funny and very appropriate in certain situations, but it can also be an effective tool for a manipulative person.
By using cutting sarcasm at the right time, a manipulator can make you feel like the lowest form of dirt on the planet.
Using their words, trap expressions, and unfunny jokes that tell you to your core, manipulators shift you into approval-seeking mode where your well-being begins to depend on their thumbs up or thumbs down.
Needless to say, this is a very weak position.
6) Gas lighting
Gaslighting is the technique of making someone believe that their perceptions and experiences are not happening or that their perceptions and experiences are their fault.
It is a favorite tool of manipulators because it can be adapted to almost any situation and used against people who already have cracks in their armor of self-esteem.
If you are one of those people who tend to doubt themselves, you are a prime target for a master manipulator.
That’s because this can easily feed into that cycle of self-doing and cause you to question your basic perceptions and judgments about the world around you and the interactions you have.
7) Misrepresentation and omission
Lies are easy to spot, especially when they’re untrue or appear obvious to your face.
But distorting the truth as well as deleting parts of the truth is much more effective. That is why being sworn in court requires a promise to tell the whole truth, not just some of the truth.
Professional manipulators like to tell part of the truth but ignore the parts that do not help achieve their motives or desired results.
8) Tools of seduction and sex
Manipulators often use seduction and sexual attraction to their advantage.
By using their assets in a seductive way, they will try to distance you from your values or intentions and goals.
Regardless of caution, they want you to bend to their will and reach their goals.
The name of the game is to make you comply with their desires rather than maintaining your own framework and sticking up for yourself.
Seduction can work in many cases, and manipulators know it.
9) Hypocritical advice
Manipulators like to give advice that they don’t actually follow. Today’s rule is to do as I say, not as I do.
The reason this is effective is because the manipulator is carving out a place for themselves where they don’t follow their own rules but have power over you by setting rules that you must follow.
Think of politicians and some corporate executives, for example. They can be very fond of setting rules and making judgments that others must obey and which they themselves make exceptions for themselves and their friends.
This is fairly typical manipulative behavior, although that doesn’t make it any less egregious or harmful when it affects you as a citizen, employee, partner, or human being.
10) The deception of the silver tongue
The gift of gab can be used to argue in front of a courtroom, read inspirational novels, or encourage people when they are feeling down.
But it can also be used to manipulate people and take advantage of them. A manipulator will use their gift of language and words to take advantage of others and make you feel like you are going crazy.
In fact, you are actually just trying to defend your boundaries and basic rights.
However, by using their words and rhetorical skills to bend your perception of reality, the manipulator makes you think upward and war is peace before you even realize what is happening.
