Narcissists are a real business, aren’t they?
In a world where selfishness seems to be the norm, dealing with narcissists can be a daily struggle.
But what about those who don’t fit the typical “self-absorbed” mold?
Well, these are the people we call “communal narcissists.”
These are people who excel at manipulation, but under the guise of attention and community. They are so good at their game that you may not realize that you are being manipulated.
Look familiar?
If so, keep reading for signs that you may be dealing with an unknown but highly manipulative societal narcissist.
1) They always help others, but it makes them resentful
Cultist narcissists are experts at making themselves seem like saints.
They are often seen volunteering, donating, or generally participating in community services.
But there’s something about their selflessness that doesn’t sit right with you.
You see, their kindness usually comes with conditions. They are not helping you out of genuine concern, but rather as a way to enhance their image and reputation.
They don’t care about being a good Samaritan, but they do care about being seen as one.
They may even use their help as leverage in conversation, constantly reminding you of their charitable deeds to ensure you see them in the best possible light.
2) They always seem to be the heroes of their own stories
A friend of mine in the past often had these great stories where she was always the heroine.
My friend was part of many clubs and community organizations. She often shared stories about how she saved the day during a fundraiser or how she single-handedly organized a charity event.
She would subtly brag about her contributions, making sure everyone knew exactly how much she had done.
Suspicious, right? I also thought it was strange that every conversation we had somehow came back to her heroic deeds.
I started to notice something strange. Whenever anyone else tried to share their accomplishments or good deeds, she would either downplay their accomplishments or find a way to match them with her own stories.
It became clear that she wasn’t helping just out of the kindness of her heart. She was doing it for recognition and praise and to assert her dominance over others in society.
This constant need to be admired and to be the center of attention is a classic trait of communal narcissists.
They are always the heroes of their own stories, often at the expense of others.
3) They are experts at playing the victim
Societal narcissists have this tendency to change any situation to appear as the victim.
It’s as if they have a degree in playing the victim card.
Interestingly, this article found that narcissists often use victimhood to manipulate others. It also reveals that narcissists are more likely to play the victim in conflicts and portray themselves as targets of injustice.
This allows them to maintain a positive self-image and have more control over their narrative. By portraying themselves as victims, societal narcissists attract sympathy and support from those around them, which increases their need for validation and admiration.
4) They have a strong need for validation
Like all narcissists, societal narcissists also have a strong need for validation. They constantly seek approval and confirmation from others.
They crave recognition and often go to great lengths to get it. This can include volunteering for high-profile projects, donating large sums of money to gain publicity, or even manipulating situations to appear more favorable in the eyes of others.
What distinguishes communal narcissists? Their clever camouflage.
They hide their need for validation under the guise of selflessness and community service. But if you look closely, you’ll notice that their actions are usually followed by subtle or not-so-subtle bragging about their actions.
5) They are emotionally draining
Let’s be real here.
Dealing with a cultic narcissist is emotionally exhausting.
They are masters at sucking the energy out of a room and leaving you feeling exhausted. Conversations with them often revolve around their accomplishments, sacrifices, and greatness.
They always need to be the center of attention and will do whatever it takes to keep the spotlight on themselves.
The truth is that communal narcissists don’t care about your feelings or needs. They are only interested in what serves them best.
Dealing with them can feel like an uphill battle, leaving you exhausted and emotionally drained.
There’s nothing wrong with ad
6) They make you doubt your worth
If a cultist narcissist makes you question your worth, I want you to know that it’s not your fault.
Why?
Because communal narcissists have a way of making you feel like you are never enough. You can be the most caring, understanding, and supportive person, but that will make you question your worth.
They do this by constantly comparing your actions to their own “selfless” actions. They subtly belittle your efforts and contributions, making it seem like they are the only ones doing anything worthwhile.
You may find yourself feeling inadequate or doubting your abilities. You may also start to believe that you are not as good, kind, or selfless as them.
But remember, this is not a reflection of your worth, but rather a manipulation tactic used by societal narcissists. They feed off your insecurities to boost their ego and maintain control.
7) They are often admired by others
Isn’t this frustrating?
You see the manipulation, selfishness, and complete disregard for everyone else’s feelings…
However, it seems like everyone around you is still singing their praises.
Unfortunately, this is something we have no control over.
This is because communal narcissists are often admired and respected by those who do not see beyond their masks.
They are seen as selfless, loyal and community-oriented individuals. Their public image is carefully crafted to ensure they are admired and appreciated.
You may feel very isolated because it makes you feel like you are the only one who sees your true colors.
It’s like you’re watching a movie where everyone is oblivious to the villain’s plans.
But when the going gets tough, remember that you’re not alone.
Many people have been in your shoes, seeing the true nature of the communal narcissist while others remained blind to it.
It’s frustrating and isolating, but hold on to your perception of reality, it’s true and real.
8) They tend to drop names
Ah, the classic name dropper! We’ve all met one, haven’t we?
Well, maybe this person is a cultist narcissist.
Societal narcissists have a particular fondness for this tactic. They like to casually mention influential people they know, important meetings they’ve attended, or notable events they’ve been a part of.
It’s as if they’re playing a never-ending game of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon,” except, in this version, they always seem to be just one degree away from everyone.
This usual name-dropping serves a dual purpose. First, it boosts their image by associating themselves with influential people. Second, it skillfully conveys their importance and superiority to those around them.
So, if you find yourself manipulating an unwitting audience in a name-dropping performance, you’re probably dealing with a cultic narcissist.
And who knows? Today, they may be talking poorly about you, and the next day it will be a name they will drop.
9) They lack true empathy
Societal narcissists may appear caring and compassionate, but they lack true empathy.
Despite their outwardly altruistic actions, they struggle to truly empathize with the feelings of others. You probably know by now that their interest in community often stems not from genuine compassion, but from a need for appreciation and admiration.
They may put on a great show of compassion and understanding, but when it comes to truly feeling for others, they often fall short.
Simply put, their emotions are often superficial and self-serving.
It’s a bitter truth to accept, especially when you’re close to someone. You might think that their ability to help is at least a redeeming quality, but when you really look at it, it’s just another manipulation tactic.
Keep in mind that it’s not you, it’s them.
Admitting this is the first step towards moving forward, thus protecting yourself from their manipulation.
