Do you know someone with a stately complex?
They likely lack empathy, need constant attention, and can become somewhat aggressive when challenged.
In other words, they are full of themselves (and difficult to get along with).
Unfortunately, these personalities are more common than you might think.
But here’s the good news.
By looking at scientific studies and research, we can find very effective techniques for dealing with these unsavory personalities.
With that being said, let’s dive in.
Here are six clever tricks to put a narcissist in their place, based on actual psychology.
1) Be firm
This is an important one.
Narcissists are constantly trying to gain (and maintain) control. Whether it’s about you, a situation, or a story, they will try to take control to serve their own needs.
Don’t let them!
“When dealing with a narcissist, you need to be firm about your boundaries…,” says licensed mental health counselor Basma Anwar.
This part is very true.
Setting boundaries demonstrates power and resistance, helping you assert some control over the interaction.
Related : Breaking the Intergenerational Cycle of Family Abuse
Put it this way, if you don’t set boundaries, they will walk all over you.
But think about your tone of voice and choose your words carefully, because deep down, narcissists may suffer from low self-esteem. This means that they often go on the defensive and attack if they feel threatened.
According to psychology, a calm and detached approach works best.
Boundary-setting statements like: “I’m happy to continue this conversation as long as we keep it respectful.” Sends a strong signal.
You take charge and make it clear that you will not run for office for their BS.
Remember, narcissists are usually trying to get a reaction. Don’t waste your time trying to reason with them or discuss your case. Petty emotional conflict is exactly what they want.
2) Use humor
I know what you’re thinking.
This may not come naturally (certainly not to me), but humor can be an incredibly powerful tool for disarming an obnoxious narcissist.
Here’s the need.
Charm, wit, or a well-timed joke that gently highlights their posh demeanor can lighten the mood and make your comments heard.
Trust me, there is science behind it.
Not only does humor help us feel safe in social situations, it instills trust and bonds us together.
We can’t help but have a relationship with someone who is truly funny and relatable.
So, it should come as no surprise that if you can make narcissists laugh, they will be more receptive to your opinion.
But don’t be too aggressive with your standing routine.
Psychological studies show that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) do not enjoy laughing at themselves.
Especially if they are vulnerable narcissists. This is associated with paranoia, rejection and fragile self-esteem.
Keep it light.
Make sure you laugh with them instead of attacking them.
3) Turn off your emotions (don’t argue)
Narcissists use insults and criticism to provoke you.
It’s called projection.
The basic reason is to hide or distract from insecurities.
So it makes no sense at all to take things personally. Instead, listen to them but take what they say with a pinch of salt.
It’s a case of if you get angry, you lose.
According to psychology, people on the narcissism spectrum have an intense desire to win arguments. Sometimes they don’t even realize what they are doing and like to play the victim (by blaming you).
Whatever you do, don’t apologize
This validates their feelings and gives them control.
Simply put, don’t fall for it. It is emotional blackmail and a form of manipulation.
You can also try the Gray Rock method.
This involves acting as disinterested as possible until they lose interest. They are especially effective against attention seekers.
4) Don’t feed the beast
I’m talking about giving them ammunition.
Things like personal information or private stories from your past. Anything they can use against you.
It can be difficult. Maybe even embarrassing.
Narcissists are experts at getting you to open up. They may start trusting you or sharing their own secrets.
But if you suspect they are narcissists with bad intentions, keep it light.
Research shows that narcissists love secrets.
Why? think about it.
If they know your secrets, they have power. They can use this information as leverage to assert control over you.
So don’t feed them!
5) Get help
He may not be available in the heat of battle, but try to find others who can support you in the future. Because one thing narcissists love to do is isolate you or make you doubt yourself.
It’s called “gaslighting” and psychology suggests it’s the narcissist’s weapon of choice.
Related : Narcissistic Family Roles – The Complicated Dynamics of Narcissistic Families
Any support from a third party will validate your point of view and counter this bad form of psychological manipulation.
It could be something relatively simple.
They may just be trying to convince you of their version of events (to protect their ego). It can sometimes be an element of sadistic pleasure. Narcissists often find satisfaction in confusing people.
Or it could be something more serious.
Perhaps one of your coworkers is proactively spreading rumors, damaging your professional reputation, and instigating a cancellation campaign.
Worse still, if you’re romantically involved with an egomaniac, the more support you get from others, the better.
This leads to our final (and final) way to deal with a high-level narcissist.
6) Stay away
In extreme cases, the most effective way to deal with a narcissist is to completely remove yourself from the situation.
Especially if you feel that it affects your health.
But be careful.
This is easier said than done (especially if you’re romantically involved).
Psychology agrees that this is not an easy choice.
Here’s why.
Narcissists can be very charming and will “activate” him just as you threaten to leave. They may adopt a love bombing strategy to get you back.
In other words, acknowledge their undying love for you and ask for forgiveness. She showers you with love and affection.
This will always lead to confusion and hesitation on your part.
But stay strong.
In the end, if all else fails and there’s no sign of change, maybe you just need to rip the Band-Aid off and move on with your life.
