What exactly is emotional blackmail?
Emotional blackmail is the process during which a loved one uses your weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and emotions in order to get what they want from you.
Emotional blackmail can happen outside of a romantic relationship as well, although it is not common.
In this article, I will discuss the ways in which men emotionally blackmail their women to get them where they want them to be.
It is important to note that although a person may be an emotional blackmailer, this does not necessarily make him the worst person in the world.
Yes, they are wrong in what they do, but there are different types that differ in their severity.
Some people use this tactic without even realizing it. They know you well, so they always know where to “hit.”
It doesn’t necessarily always mean causing pain, just getting the desired result (in an annoying way though!)
What factors affect emotional blackmail?
He is afraid.
Fear is an event that occurs when you feel threatened and immediately engage in a “fight or flight” response to help you protect yourself in dangerous situations.
What’s more, when you feel like a loved one is threatened, there’s likely nothing you won’t do for them.
Fear is not always about being in actual physical danger.
Emotional manipulators know how to instill fear in you enough to make you do what they want, even though they won’t cause you physical harm. They know that fear itself is enough.
In order to feel part of a group or community, we always feel a certain amount of obligation to those around us. It is a natural need for everyone to be included and a part of something, so we unconsciously nurture that need, which sometimes goes beyond what is considered normal.
A manipulator who knows you well will use this need against you by telling you that if the roles were reversed, he would do that thing for you in a heartbeat.
He may also threaten to leave you if you refuse because he will try to make you see how bad you look.
And your commitment to him as your partner will trump any common sense.
feeling guilty.
Guilt is an extremely powerful motivator to do almost anything. A man who is emotionally blackmailing you will use guilt in order to get the most out of you.
He’ll make you look like a bad girlfriend if you don’t indulge him. He will try to guilt you into working too much or just being happy.
No matter how you manage it, you are the selfish one who is causing him pain, just by living your life the way you always have.
If things aren’t his way, he’ll make you pay for it by instilling this terrible feeling of guilt that you shouldn’t feel.
This will make you do things for him that you know deep down are not okay.
- By punishing you
Let’s not forget that we are talking about a man who knows you almost as well as you know yourself.
He knows just how to push your buttons and how to calm you down. He knows what will cause you pain and what will worry you.
Thus his words will affect you deeply. He will threaten to leave, withhold affection, or give you the silent treatment.
He knows that it will hit you hard because he is aware of your emotional states.
Emotional blackmail can be very harmful to someone because it comes from someone you love and they take advantage of your vulnerability and vulnerability to get something from you.
- By threatening to harm himself
An experienced emotional blackmailer will know that this will make you suffer more than anything else.
The thought of him hurting himself because of something you supposedly did will haunt you forever. And he will use it as long as you keep falling in love with it.
This includes both guilt and fear. Feeling guilty for being the one who causes pain and fear that someone you love will be hurt.
So the next time you tell him you want to leave or something similar serious, he will use this against you.
You’ll be the one responsible for his downfall, and since he knows that’s not something you can live with, he’s sure you’ll never leave.
- Through guilt
This guy will make everything that happens bad be your fault.
Why let him take your credit card and get you a new suit for the job interview? Now it’s your fault he’s unemployed (absolute BS).
Or he may simply suggest that if you don’t do something, he will suffer the consequences.
He will make everything ten times more harsh and dramatic than it actually is for the purposes of guilt tripping you to the extreme.
The worst part is that if you don’t, it will mean that you don’t really love him. Because if you do, there’s nothing you can say no to, right? no.
- By promising something too much
This is the least risky method. Thus, it does not actually cause you as much emotional harm as the previous three methods.
This way he will lure you into saying yes to something by promising you something in return that is either not a fair trade or won’t happen at all.
This way, you expect to get something in return that makes your decision in his favor worthwhile.
But the truth is, it won’t be worth it. You don’t get what was promised and you won’t even be sorry.
He will get what he wants and simply continue to make excuses for not reciprocating.
