There are certain words you should never say to a narcissist. Don’t you want to avoid throwing a tantrum or something worse? I thought so.
If you’re looking for peace, there are things you should never say to a narcissist. Because if you say these words, peace is not what you will get. You may already be familiar with the sticky tar that is the narcissist’s mind.
I guess I sound mean, right? Well, I’ve been around a few of these individuals, and I know from experience that what you say can and will be used against you.
Never say these things to a narcissist
The narcissist has an inflated sense of self-worth combined with extremely low self-esteem. Yes, I know these contradict each other, but the truth is that a high self-worth is just a cover for the narcissist’s low self-image reality.
Keep this in mind as we explore the words you should never say to a narcissist. It will help you understand. Here are some examples of what not to say.
- “You love the attention.”
While this statement is likely true, it is not very smart to say it. Why? Well, because the narcissist will react in one or two ways.
They may go into a narcissistic rage that causes a huge fuss or commotion.
He may deny it and seek more attention from your “perceived insult.”
This means that they will respond by telling others how harsh you talk to them. Since most people outside of the narcissist’s circle cannot see their own manipulation etc, this gains more empathy/interest.
- “You think you’re always right.”
Never say this to a narcissist because they usually think they are superior. But when you say this, the toxic person will see it for what it is, an affront to their sanity.
Usually, the narcissist gets defensive and lashes out. You won’t get anywhere with this phrase, so you might as well not say it. It’s a waste of breath.
- “You always play the victim, right?”
Narcissists, in fact, see themselves as a perpetual victim. It seems that someone is always wronging them in one way or another. “Oh poor me” is what this toxic person thinks constantly, and so they will get defensive and hurt when you call them out on being a constant victim.
Even worse, many people see them as victims, too. This is because others cannot see beyond the facade.
- “You’re so manipulative.”
This is also something you should never say to a narcissist. That’s because their manipulation is so deeply ingrained in their identity that sometimes they can’t even see what they’re doing anymore. And if they see it in themselves, they call it intelligence.
They often pride themselves on getting everything they want. Sometimes, they may try to gasp when you call them manipulative, so be careful.
- “You’re lying.”
Most of us know narcissists lie, and they lie most of the time. But calling them such lies is unproductive. They may say, “Whatever…” or get defensive. Sometimes narcissists use manipulative tactics to deflect your words from you.
Whatever it takes, this toxic person will never admit that he is lying. It takes a lot of effort to get a narcissist to admit to the lies or deception they have committed. So, in a way, it’s pointless to bring it up. Remember, narcissists are like children.
- “It’s not about you!”
This statement will never work. You see, for narcissists, it’s all about them, or it should be. Everything that happens in or near the narcissist is another opportunity to focus on them and put the spotlight back on their lives.
So, I say, “It’s not about you!” this is not true. He will always be around the narcissist, whether you like it or not.
- “It’s not a competition.”
To the narcissist, everything is always competition. It’s about who grills the best burger, who makes the most money, or who has the most friends. For normal people, it’s about who cares!!
This is one of the most obvious words you should never say to a narcissist, because life will always be a competition. For them, if they are not first, then they are last. There are no middlemen and no relationships.
- “You’re so fake”
This is the ultimate offense for narcissists. Yes, that’s 100% true, but you shouldn’t say it. No toxic person will admit to wearing a mask, because the real one is practically empty.
If they are not empty, then they are badly broken and in need of professional help. So, telling a narcissist that they are not authentic is like attacking the last shred of their self-worth.
Saying these words will not fix the narcissist
Honestly, while you may feel like saying these things, and they may be true, it’s best not to say them. These statements will not fix the narcissist. It might make them worse.
When they get defensive and angry as a result of your words, their confrontation will become stronger. Instead of revealing their true identity, they will continue to lie.
So, when speaking to a narcissist, please keep these tips in mind. And most of all, take care of your mental health. If you are dealing with a narcissistic friend or family member, and it is hurting you, reinforce your boundaries and seek help.
I wish you all the best.
