When you’re in love, it’s easy to lose sight of the boundaries that define a healthy relationship — one built on love, trust, open communication, mutual respect, and support.
It turns out that many people are emotionally manipulated in their relationships without even knowing it.
If something seems a little off in your relationship but you’re not sure what it is, you’re probably being emotionally manipulated.
That’s why I’m writing this article to empower you to see the signs of emotional manipulation so you can put an end to this toxic behavior and find your way to a healthier relationship.
Let’s start by looking at the top 8 signs that you’re being emotionally manipulated and then we’ll look at what you can do about it.
1) Stumbling upon guilt
Well, most of us have used this tactic at one time or another, in fact, I used it a few days ago with my dad – he came to visit me and I asked him to walk my dogs.
He wasn’t too keen, so I said, “Well, I guess they’ll have to wait a few more hours to pee,” and it worked like a charm.
Now, this doesn’t make me a professional manipulator or a bad person, it makes me a human being. This also doesn’t mean that my relationship with my parents is toxic!
But imagine a relationship in which you are constantly tripped by guilt.
That’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?
Add to that some of the other tactics you’ll read about in this article and you’ll get some surefire signs that you’re being emotionally manipulated in your relationship.
2) Isolation
Another sign that you are being emotionally manipulated in your relationship is that your partner has isolated you (or is trying to isolate you) from other people in your life.
In order to make you completely dependent on them for emotional support, they isolate you from your friends and family – the people who love you and have your back no matter what.
Very scary huh? This is because emotional manipulation is a form of abuse.
I’ve actually seen it while playing. A member of my family was slowly manipulated over time (it doesn’t happen overnight) by his wife into cutting his family and friends out of their lives.
So, if your partner doesn’t approve of your friends or thinks you spend too much time with your family – that’s a red flag!
3) Gas lighting
Gaslighting can be very cruel. It happens when the other person makes you question your perception of reality. This often causes you to question your memory and even your sanity.
For example, someone could use gaslighting to cover up an affair. Every time they confront their partner about their late nights or suspicious behavior, they say, “You’re irrational and paranoid.”
They will accuse their partner of being jealous and possessive, even saying things like “The fact that you don’t know how to trust is what’s ruining our relationship”!
I know, can you believe that sh**?
Unfortunately, when the person gaslighting is a skilled manipulator, they will succeed in making their partner doubt themselves and feel guilty for even raising their concerns.
4) Emotional blackmail
Basically, emotional blackmail is a manipulative technique where one person in a relationship uses feelings, guilt, or fear to control or manipulate another.
For example, if your partner doesn’t like to go out and spend time with your friends, he will frown and say, “You don’t care about me, all you care about is your stupid friends. I don’t even know why we’re together.”
Of course, it’s possible for an emotionally unstable and insecure person to say this and mean it, but for emotional manipulators, it’s a means to an end.
Does this sound like something you’ve tried?
5) Continuous monitoring
This is a major red flag!
You are a mature person, and you have the right to your freedom and privacy. So, if your partner is always aware of where you are, what you are doing, and who you are with, you have a serious problem.
Oh, and don’t be surprised if you find them snooping on your phone or checking your email!
6) The silent treatment
There are a lot of articles about using the silent treatment when you are fighting with your partner.
But guess what – it’s a cruel form of mental punishment! In fact, it borders on abuse.
I mean, instead of being open and honest with each other and talking about your issues, the silent treatment basically consists of shutting down all communication and pretending the other person doesn’t exist.
Think about it – being on the receiving end of the silent treatment can be extremely hurtful.
More often than not, this backfires.
A breakdown in communication prevents conflict resolution
Instead of addressing and solving problems, it allows negative feelings to fester and escalate
It disrupts the emotional connection on which relationships thrive and hinders the development of empathy, compassion, and intimacy.
7) Victim mentality
This is exactly my aunt.
I swear she was born to play the victim, and she’s not, trust me.
Not only does she want to be the center of attention – which she does – but she plays the victim to manipulate people into doing things for her.
For example, she constantly manipulates her children into doing everything for her and cancels their plans to be with her because she is “old and dying” (she’s been this way for the past 30 years). Even though they know she is fine and fully capable of doing things on her own, they are manipulated every time.
So, if you’re in a relationship where your partner is always saying “poor me” and making you feel guilty about wanting to have your own life, manipulating your empathy, and making you feel responsible for their happiness – you’ll want to deal with that as soon as possible!
8) Exploiting your weaknesses
Did you know that some manipulators go so far as to exploit their victims’ weaknesses to control them?
They will find out what your insecurities, fears, and emotional triggers are, and then they will use this knowledge to their advantage.
Pretty sick, huh?
But why do they do that? Don’t they love you?
I’m not sure they really know what love is, anyway, they have a strange idea of what love is. By exploiting your weaknesses, they essentially want to assert your dominance, weaken your self-esteem, and create a feeling of dependency.
