There’s a saying that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.

If this is true, then the people we keep close to us play a crucial role in shaping our attitudes, behaviors, and ultimately our lives.

But here’s the thing – not everyone who crosses our path will contribute positively to our growth.

Some so-called “friends” can drain our energy, affect our mental health, and harm our personal development.

But knowing what to look for can help you avoid having such people in your life. So, here are 8 toxic friends to watch out for:

1) Constant critic
Have you ever had a friend who always seems to find fault with everything you do?

Even when you approach them with exciting news, they manage to find something negative to say.

“Oh, you got the job! It’s a shame it doesn’t pay better though. Don’t worry, you’ll find something better soon.”

“Your new haircut looks… nice. Did you mess up the fringe though? It looks kind of wonky…”

This friend does nothing for your self-esteem. They never cheer for you. If anything, it seems like their only mission in life is to bring negativity and basically, the crap out of all your accomplishments.

Some constructive criticism is certainly helpful in a friendship, especially in terms of personal development.

But it shouldn’t be hard, and it shouldn’t be firm!

2) Emotional vampire
Ah, the emotional vampire. Energy sucker. The drainer of all good feelings.

I had a friend like this. Before we sat down and ordered coffee, she was straight up talking about how terrible her life was.

It will last for hours.

I usually come home feeling very tired, negative and irritable.

Does someone in your life come to mind?

You’ll probably notice how the emotional vampire rarely asks how you’re doing. They’re too busy sucking the life out of you to care.

All they want is your sympathy and attention. When you give them advice, they rarely listen to it because they feed on drama.

Friendship quickly turns from joy and fun into a burden that you begin to fear. This is a clear sign that it is time to cut them out of your life.

3) The green-eyed monster
It’s awful to think that someone you consider a friend would be jealous of you, isn’t it?

But unfortunately, not everyone who pretends to care is truly happy about your good fortune.

This is where the green-eyed monster comes into play.

When you go to them with good news, instead of them being happy for you, they tend to think about their failures.

Here’s an example:

You: “Good news! I just got the promotion I was hoping for at work! I get to lead my team now.”

Green-Eyed Monster: “Oh, really? I guess it’s easy for some people. I’ve worked longer than you at my job and I haven’t gotten a promotion yet. You’re just lucky I guess.”

This is a typical monster reaction. They reduce your hard work and put the focus back on themselves.

Believe me, you don’t need a friend like this in your life!

4) One-way street
Friendship is a two-way street, but for this friend, it’s a one-way highway that leads to…

Here are some examples to help you decide if you have a friend like this:

• They constantly depend on you for support but never give it in return.
• They ask for favors but are never free to offer you a helping hand.
• They expect you to meet their needs but will never adapt to yours.
• They tend to choose the place and time of meeting. They may even dictate where you go for dinner or coffee, without ever taking your opinion.

Ultimately, this is toxicity at its best.

For them, it’s all about personal gain. But in a healthy friendship, both people should feel supported, heard, and cared for.

So, if you have a one-way wanderer in your life, it may be time to show them the door. Don’t allow anyone to take advantage of your good nature!

5) Control freak
Control freaks think they know best, so they go over the top and tell you what you should and shouldn’t do.

If you try to stand up to them, they will emotionally blackmail, pressure, or guilt you into doing things their way.

This is highly toxic for several reasons:

First, you may start to feel helpless. If they are an arrogant figure in your life, you may end up feeling overwhelmed and find it difficult to say “no” to them.

Second, it can damage your self-esteem. Think about it, if someone constantly tells you that the decisions you make are not right, it will eventually sink in and you will end up believing them.

Finally, a friendship can become dependent. You will feel like you have lost your independence. They start making decisions.

In the end, it’s not a good situation to be in, or a good “friend” to keep!

6) The constant comparison
Here’s the scenario:

I finally bought a new car. It took me a long time to save up the money for that. You are excited to share the news with your friend.

But instead of focusing on you and your accomplishments, they start analyzing:

“Well, my car has a little better radio system.”

“I think my car is a brighter red than yours, right?”

“Oh my God, the engine is so loud. My house is so quiet you can barely hear it coming down the street!”

Whether it’s a new car, a job, or a relationship, this kind of toxic friend can’t help but compare.

This stems from their own insecurities, but it can also have negative effects on you.

By making you question your self-worth and accomplishments, it does nothing to boost your morale or allow you to feel good about yourself.

I say life is too short for a friend like this!

7) Stabbing in the back
With a smile on their faces, these toxic friends will take any opportunity to talk badly about you behind your back.

They cannot be trusted, no matter how many excuses they make.

A clear sign of a backstabbing friend is that they often say things like, “Oh, so-and-so was talking about you the other day…”

If people feel comfortable talking about you in front of this supposed friend, it indicates that the friend is not loyal. A true friend will stop this kind of gossip immediately.

So, the sooner you get this type of person out of your life, the better!

Not only will it save you the humiliation and heartbreak of having a friend spread rumors behind your back, but it will also save you the emotional pain of feeling betrayed.

8) Spreader of negativity
Finally, we have a little Ms/Mr negativity.

These people always have something miserable to say. They never see the glass as half full. They can turn a sunny day into a doomsday.

Usually, you’ll feel the positivity draining out of you the moment they start talking.

Even if they are not directly negative towards you, they will talk about how terrible the world is, or how today’s youth are cold, heartless robots.

Heck, these people can find fault with the most beautiful things. I had a friend who ranted about how overrated kittens and puppies are. seriously.

Ultimately, this toxic friendship will ruin your mood when you meet.

And negativity is contagious. You may feel less optimistic about life after spending a few hours with this friend.

So, you know what I’m going to say – it’s time to get them out of your life for good!

The truth is that you have to choose your friends wisely. They have a huge impact on your well-being and overall life.

And in a world with a population of just under 8 billion people, there is no need to cling to some toxic people who don’t bring happiness into your life!

How to break up with a toxic friend

So, now you know what you need to do. But how do you do this?

Here are some tips I’ve tried and tested over the years:

• First, consider whether the friend in question is actually toxic or just going through a difficult time in life. Identify the behaviors you don’t like and think about how long these behaviors have persisted.
• Communicate directly and honestly. Yes, it will be uncomfortable, but it’s important to share your feelings so your friend knows why you ended the friendship. Also, by being honest, they may take your comments seriously and change for the better.
• Set clear boundaries. This is if you are unable to cut it off completely (for example, if it is a family member or colleague). Be clear about what behavior you will and will not tolerate.
• Stay still. If you end your relationship, your toxic friend may try to guilt trip you into making up. Give your explanation once but don’t feel the need to keep justifying yourself.

Finally, take time to heal. The end of a friendship can be devastating, especially if it’s someone you really care about.