I’ll be honest here – I was approaching relationships completely wrong. From my expectations to my jealousy, I thought I was doing the right thing, but over time I learned how dangerous some of these habits were.

But here’s the thing – even though I wasn’t intentionally trying to screw things up or hurt my exes, I did.

You may also realize that your behavior is not healthy, and that if you want to create a stable, loving relationship, something has to change.

Don’t worry — this article won’t shame you for toxic behaviors. Because like me, you probably don’t act this way on purpose.

So instead, see my advice as an opportunity to learn, grow, and do better.

Here are 8 relationship habits you don’t realize are toxic:

1) Always wanting to talk
We all know that communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

But did you know that there are times when over-communication can reach a toxic level?

Let’s say your partner just came home from work. They are tired. They need to decompress.

Although you may not mean it, by hounding them to tell you every detail of their day, or listening to your every detail, you may end up stressing them out.

In other words, it’s good to remember that everyone needs room to breathe.

Keep communicating, but also be aware of your partner’s mood. If you see that they are tired, stressed, or even in a rush, find another time to chat.

2) Expect to spend every waking moment together
Another common toxic habit that most people don’t realize they’re doing is expecting to be stuck on their partner’s hip.

Again, I’m guilty of this. In the past, I expected my ex to come with me everywhere. If he’s not ready for it, I’ll be upset – he’s my friend, he should want to be with me, right?

mistake. He enjoyed spending time with me, but he didn’t want to come see the latest girls’ movie at the cinema. He didn’t want to attend Taylor Swift’s concert.

And every time he gave in and agreed, I got annoyed because I thought, “Why isn’t he more enthusiastic?”

See how unprofitable the situation is?

You and your partner are two separate individuals. Sure, you may spend your life together, but that doesn’t mean you have to share the same interests and hobbies!

3) Try to resolve arguments immediately
Are you the type of person who, like me, wants to resolve a fight as quickly as possible?

This is great if your partner feels the same way. But it can cause major problems if he is the type who needs time to calm down before he makes amends.

Even though you’re not intentionally pressuring them, you’re essentially not giving them the time they need to process their feelings.

It’s like saying, “Hey, I’m done arguing now. Let’s make up — even though you’re still angry and haven’t had time to think things through.”

I get it, you want to make amends and move on as quickly as possible. But maybe your reconciliations will improve if you make up when you’re both ready.

4) Expect your partner to be “everything” to you
My partner. soulmate. My best friend. My trust. My partner in crime.

Oh my goodness, the list could go on!

While it’s nice to want your partner to be your “everything” because you love them so much, have you ever thought that this might be too much to ask?

One they can’t live up to?

The truth is, it’s not healthy to expect your partner to fulfill multiple roles in your life.

They can’t replace your mother. Or your best friend. Or the co-worker you enjoy gossiping with.

Their role is simply to be themselves – your partner. Anything else could strain the relationship and make them feel like they need to play many different people just to keep you happy.

This leads us to the next point:

5) Make your life partner your only source of happiness
This is another big misconception that leads people to form toxic habits in relationships:

Believing that their partner is responsible for making them happy.

Unfortunately, this is a surefire way to ruin a relationship. You are responsible for being happy. Your partner is responsible for his happiness.

Yes, you can add more happiness to each other, but you should not depend on the other for that.

When you start placing these expectations on your partner, you can overwhelm them. They will feel a tremendous amount of pressure.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to find other sources of happiness in your life, through friends, hobbies, and experiences that don’t revolve around your significant other.

6) Excessive pressure on your partner in the field of personal development
Ah, this is something I learned myself when I met my current partner. For once, I wasn’t toxic though.

My partner used to push and push and then push some more. He wanted what was best for me. He wanted me to be free from my limiting beliefs and bad habits.

I appreciate all of that. But I also needed to do it on my own time.

After a frustrating year or two, I finally explained this to him, and he has calmed down ever since.

And imagine what? Around the same time I really started making progress in my self-development.

As you can see, it’s great to be supportive and encouraging. It’s not okay to pressure people to do things on your schedule.

Allow them to solve the problem on their own, at a pace they feel comfortable with.

Otherwise, you may end up pushing them away.

7) Jealousy or possessiveness
BREAKING NEWS – Feeling jealous or possessive is not nice or healthy!

A little jealousy is normal. We are humans, after all.

But deciding who your other half talks to? Monitor their messages? Dictating where they can go and where they can’t go?

This is very toxic.

I used to be that person. But I eventually realized that the reason behind my insecurities was because I was acting possessive.

I also realized that by behaving this way, I was saying to my partner:

“I do not trust you.”

Which can be very hurtful, especially if they have done nothing wrong or caused you concern.

8) Dropping hints and expecting your partner to “get it”
You expect your partner to know you better than anyone else in the world.

And maybe they do.

But that still doesn’t make them mind readers.

By dropping hints and expecting them to understand exactly what you mean, you’re setting them up for failure. And you are setting yourself up for disappointment and upset.

I learned this the hard way (so don’t worry, you’re not alone).

Now, I’m speaking in simple terms. I tell my partner clearly what I want. Funny enough, nine times out of 10 he listens and gets it done.

No more guessing games. No more frustration when misunderstood. Our relationship has improved a lot.

So, if you’re also guilty of doing this, it’s time to step up and start communicating instead of expecting miracles.

finalthoughts

We hope the above points have given you some food for thought.

finalthoughts

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