As much as we believe there is true love out there, the special someone who will make us feel amazing and blessed, we also know that there are toxic people out there who harm us in more ways than we can imagine.
One type of these people is control freaks, whose manipulation is so well hidden that we don’t realize it until it’s too late. But once we realize the situation we are in, it is up to us to decide how to deal with it.
So, we have collected some steps that you should prepare for if you are stuck in a controlling relationship and are thinking about leaving it.
- Admit that you are in a controlling relationship
This may seem unnecessary, but most of us are not ready to admit that we are in a controlling relationship. Even when we have all the signs pointing to this, we still hope that there is some love left there, and that it’s not all manipulation.
We still hope we can work on this. If you are thinking about leaving such a relationship, you need to be sure that you have come the long way. In order to have one, you have to admit to yourself that you are in a controlling relationship and that it is not your fault.
- List all the reasons you want to leave
Leaving manipulators is always difficult and scary because they have a way of making us believe that we would be nothing without them. What you need to do next is find their reasons for leaving.
Think about all the things you loved doing before you met your controlling partner. Think about doing it again, think about being that person again.
Think about all the people you lost because of this relationship. About spending time with your friends, about chatting with random guys, and feeling free and spontaneous. And if that’s not enough, consider not living in fear anymore.
Think about not worrying about them anymore. Instead of worrying about his reaction, you can finally enjoy your life to the fullest.
- Gather support
You’ll need support because no matter how well you prepare, no matter how adamant you are to leave him, he’s still manipulative.
He will still try to convince you to stay, which is exactly why you need to get support – whether it’s support you give yourself or support from friends and family.
The moment you encounter him, you should keep in mind his kind and encouraging words. You need to know that you are loved and wanted, even if he tells you otherwise.
- Expect the unexpected
No matter what type of confrontation we are planning, we always make sure that we are well prepared. For this, you have to be more prepared.
Make sure he doesn’t have anything on you. If he threatens to cut off your money, be prepared to get something on the side. If he threatens to kick you out of the house, have someone you can go to.
If he tries to manipulate you in any way to stay, stand still and know your worth. Know why you’re doing it, pick yourself up for once.
- Continue
Cut him out of your life. If he tries to contact you, block him. If he starts following you, avoid him. Go to the police if necessary. If he tries to come back into your life and convince you that he has changed, don’t do it.
No one can change overnight, and no matter what they say, manipulators will remain manipulators. There is no love, and no woman can change that.
Understand that ending a relationship is not just a one-time event, it is a process. You will need time to heal, to erase it from your heart and mind.
You will need time to move on and that is a very good thing. Just remember that you always have the support of your friends and family, and that you have the support of thousands of women who have survived the same thing.
- Practice self-care
Don’t let him get the best of you. Take your time to heal because you may be damaged more than you can see at the moment. Take small steps every day. Make sure you eat breakfast.
You could take a walk every day or maybe limit yourself to just one glass of wine instead of the whole bottle. We all have different needs and approaches to healing, so take your time and take care of yourself.
There’s a long way to go, but you got this.
- Understand that feelings can be mixed
You can still love him, even if he breaks you. You can still miss him, even if he puts you through hell. You can still want him back, even though you are the one who left.
We do not have the power to control our emotions, but we do have power over our actions. It’s hard to forget someone who you thought would be the one. It’s hard to give up something you put so much of yourself into.
It’s hard to give up on someone who you thought would never give up on you. Feeling broken, insecure, and afraid is completely normal, especially after what you’ve been through. Embrace your feelings and don’t let your fears hold you back.
