We all want affection, not deception, in our relationships.
So how do we know when what we’re feeling is real, and how do we know when we’re pulling the wool over our eyes?
The truth is that although we all tend to distort the truth from time to time, there are also some people who are inherently deceitful and difficult to recognize.
Think of James Bond-level professional spies, people for whom lying and misleading are merely second nature.
Have you ever encountered one?
Or worse yet, do you think you’re done with one by now?
These seven signs that you are in a relationship with a naturally deceitful person will help you discover the truth!
1) They are chameleons
They can change their colors at the drop of a hat and adapt to fit any situation.
However, there is a fine line between being socially intelligent and being intentionally deceptive.
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But if your partner is able to make major changes in the way he speaks and acts suddenly and without showing the slightest effort, he has the skills to cheat effectively.
Here’s what I mean:
I have a friend who suffers from what he calls “wandering accent syndrome.” If he talked to anyone long enough, he would start speaking with the same accent as him.
Now, is he trying to trick them into thinking he’s from the same place?
No, definitely not, because he had already started introducing himself and saying where he was from, all in his normal accent.
So he is really social and is easily influenced by other people’s accents.
Compare this to someone who can actually walk up to a stranger and start talking like them. When you speak the same way as someone else, in their social tone, it can put them at ease.
It shows them that you are from the same place and are the same type of person. This could be a tool to get them to let their guard down and help you get some advantage.
Therefore, this can be a skill used to make friends or manipulate people, depending on how it is used.
2) They surprise you with gifts
Don’t you just love surprises?
I did, too, until I learned that they could actually be used to manipulate you.
If you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a while, it’s definitely normal (and trust me, it’s usually expected!) for you to give each other gifts.
These can be small things just to make the other person smile or bigger things to celebrate on special days like birthdays and anniversaries.
Everything seems so natural, doesn’t it?
So, what about giving someone a big gift out of the blue?
Wouldn’t it be weird if there wasn’t a specific reason behind it, like getting a promotion or even encouragement when you’re feeling down?
The truth is that a big surprise gift can be used to manipulate and deceive you.
how?
Well, firstly, it makes you feel delightfully surprised and flattered, so it can give them a boost in your eyes.
But at the same time, it can be a distraction – something to focus on that prevents you from noticing something else entirely.
This isn’t always what a surprise gift means, but just know that it can be.
3) They make you participate first
Response: “How did you like this movie?”
B: “Oh, I loved it!”
A: “Yes, me too!”
This simple little conversation is a basic illustration of what I mean when I say they get you involved first.
In other words, they ask you to submit your ideas and opinions first before they submit theirs.
All the time.
This behavior may seem different to you.
You may think that they simply lack confidence, so they don’t like to be the first to express their opinion. Sure, it’s possible.
Or you might actually find this interesting. What a lovely person who always asks my opinion and gives me the opportunity to express myself first. How generous!
Well, possible too.
But when this behavior is combined with other signs that you’re in a relationship with someone who is inherently deceptive, you may start to see how everything turns into a pattern.
It is possible that they usually do this to cover up their thoughts and opinions in order to manipulate you.
4) They take credit they don’t deserve
The most common deception you will encounter in a relationship is someone trying to make themselves look good by any means necessary.
This is one of those situations, for a naturally deceitful person, when the end justifies the means.
They want to appear smarter, more talented, more sensitive, more diligent, more generous – whatever – than they really are.
One way people can do this is to take credit for things they did not do or had a major role in.
A simple example of what I mean is a situation where they are hungry and decide to make a great dinner for themselves, not knowing that you will be joining them.
But as soon as you walk in the door, “I made you dinner!” They will chime in.
no they did not! But they will manipulate the situation to give themselves an advantage.
Another easy example? You walk into the room and find them mopping the floor.
Related : 18 signs your partner is being manipulative, according to psychology
“I thought I’d clean up a little,” they shrugged, and you passed out. How thoughtful.
But what you missed is that they poured your drink before you entered.
This kind of paraphrasing is really tricky and may be second nature to some people.
5) They’re intimate… to a point
You cannot be in a real relationship without engaging in at least some level of emotional intimacy.
Otherwise it’s not that kind of relationship!
But for naturally cheating people, there are limits to how much intimacy they will allow themselves.
Of course, they will portray themselves as open and honest, but in reality, they will withhold information or avoid talking about certain topics.
Why?
If they are deceitful by nature, they will usually also have a fear of intimacy because intimacy reveals the truth. It also requires vulnerability, and these are two things that cheating partners don’t want to add to the mix.
It’s as if they view their ability to deceive as a power, and an intimate relationship can rob them of this power they have.
6) They play dumb
It takes a certain amount of intelligence to deceive others, and deceitful people are usually at least as smart as the average person, and often more so.
So why does your smart partner suddenly act so stupid about things sometimes?
It really depends on the situation they find themselves in.
If you notice that they often act stupid in front of others, they are probably hiding their intelligence as a strategy. This may help them get the upper hand with people later.
But if they sometimes act unusually stupid around you, they’re probably hiding something.
They may suddenly be unable to remember details when their memory is usually excellent.
Or they may tell you that they don’t understand what you’re talking about as a way to put the spotlight on you and get themselves out of trouble.
Either way, this is a common strategy that deceitful people naturally keep in their arsenal.
7) Unpredictable
How can you know where you stand with someone if you never know how they will act or react?
It’s normal for dishonest people to be like this: they’re happy one minute and angry the next.
but why?
There could be two reasons.
The first is that they are a ball of contradictions, with a lot going on internally that can make it difficult for them to maintain their balance.
They may be dealing with things they’ve been hiding from you, but when they suddenly come out, you have no idea where these feelings are coming from.
On the other hand, this can also be a strategy.
They may feel that by keeping you guessing, they will always have power in the relationship because only they really know what’s going on.
If this sounds like how things are going in your relationship, it may be time to seriously rethink how things are going and whether or not it’s good for you.
Being in a relationship with someone who is deceitful by nature
If these seven signs are things you recognize in your relationship, you probably have some serious thinking to do.
You can choose to let things continue as they are, or you can decide to end the relationship.
But there is also a third option.
It is important to remember that a person who is inherently deceitful does not have to be that way by choice. Their life experiences may have caused them to use deception as a coping mechanism.
Perhaps with your support and encouragement, they can learn to be more open and reject opportunities to manipulate the people they care about.
