My uncle used to say, “Sometimes, you’re so close to the forest that you can’t see the trees.”

In other words, sometimes we get so involved in life that we begin to lose objectivity.

This is especially true in our closest relationships.

For example, you can deal with a manipulative partner for years without really realizing it.

Sometimes all that’s needed is someone from the outside looking in to provide a little clarity.

This is where you come in.

In this article, I will share with you some signs that your partner is manipulating you.

Let’s dive in!

1) They highlight you

Like a predator sensing weakness, a manipulator will not hesitate to gaslight you if given the slightest opportunity.

They will make you question your reality, your memory, and even your sanity by completely denying anything they have done or said.

This is the manipulator trying to change history; They can be so convincing in their case that we often fall for their tricks.

You are crazy, you are simply being manipulated. Don’t be a victim.

Next time you feel overwhelmed, stand your ground and call them.

Remember, until you rock the boat, they won’t stop.

2) They give you backhanded compliments

Sometimes, this can be difficult to decipher at first.

On the one hand, they praise you artistically; But on the other hand, you walk away feeling confused, and kind of bad about yourself.

I remember when I opened my dream restaurant a decade ago. At the opening, my friend said to me, over several beers, “Congratulations on finally doing something with your life.”

Indirect compliments are like little pricks in the soul, especially when done subtly and accurately – which is often the case.

On the surface, this person is “modestly” complimenting you, but deep down they just want you to feel bad about yourself.

Stop falling for it.

3) They are passive aggressive

For those prone to anxiety (like me), passive-aggressive behavior can work wonders for a manipulator.

Instead of expressing their feelings openly, they will intentionally leave you feeling uncomfortable as a means of torture and revenge.

They recognize the inherent anxiety that comes with uncertainty.

Hidden and vague comments are the norm.

I remember my ex would always say in a low voice “I’m not happy here” after a minor argument.

I would be confused, even panicked, and pester her frantically about what she was talking about.

She would respond by acting completely ignorant as if her comments meant nothing or had nothing to do with our relationship.

right. In hindsight, it was clear she knew what she was doing.

Live and learn.

4) They feel guilty

Are you prone to guilt? If so, the juggler will probably pick up on this idea faster than Usain Bolt at the 2008 Olympics.

As you know, a manipulator has little dignity, and will resort to below-the-belt tactics to get his way.

Your actions, feelings, and choices can be completely justified, but if they don’t align with the manipulator’s agenda, they will do everything in their power to make you feel like a terrible person.

They realize how powerful guilt is, so they will use it when needed.

They may make you the abusive partner, while assuming the role of the hapless and harmless victim.

And they are so convincing, with Daniel Day-Lewis’ acting chops, that you end up buying them.

Once you get out of it, you’ll realize it was a scam all along. Face palm.

5) They play the victim

Speaking of victims, another trait of the manipulator is their absolute aversion to accountability.

They can be caught cheating or blatantly crossing boundaries, but they still somehow portray themselves as the blameless, innocent victim — and they maneuver like a hot yoga teacher to shift the blame back to you.

Once this goes on long enough, you have to put an end to it; Your self-worth is at stake.

Keep standing tall. You deserve dignity and respect like no one else.

6) They withhold affection or communication

Ah, the silent treatment – one of the oldest tricks in the manipulator’s handbook.

You see, with a manipulator, control is the name of the game.

So, if they feel wronged or not getting their way, they will deliberately become cold and distant towards you, effectively punishing you for being “disobedient.”

Like an impressionable young child, you cannot allow his bad behavior to become the norm or risk paying the price later.

So take action before things get worse.

Furthermore, no one wants to have to constantly walk on eggshells around someone who is supposed to be a romantic “partner.”

You deserve an equal co-pilot, not an unruly young passenger who refuses to wear a seat belt.

I promise: you can do better.

7) They constantly test limits

In an ideal world, you want to be with a grown woman, or a grown man, not a petulant child.

Respect is the foundation of any effective union, so when that goes, the relationship goes too.

If you clearly communicate your boundaries, yet they continue to push the boundaries to see how much they can get away with it, this is not only blatant disrespect, it is disgusting.

Let’s say you make it categorically clear that you hate being tickled, but your partner ignores that and moves on, tickling you regularly and forcefully for his own amusement.

Sure, tickling (even the word is funny) may seem harmless, but when it’s done without your consent, it can also be indicative of some serious character flaws.

Crossing boundaries in a relationship, no matter how big or small, should not be normalized.

This is basically a maneuver to desensitize you to their behavior. not good.

8) They are jealous and controlling

Look, just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t make you their property.

In mature relationships, both people tend to have mutual respect for each other as living, breathing, independent human beings.

So, when feelings of possessiveness start to appear, these are not the greatest signs.

For example, if your partner tries to make you feel bad for spending time with friends, which means you care about them more, this needs to be addressed, especially if it’s not true.

You should celebrate each other as individuals, and accept that you may have separate interests and friends. this is healthy.

What’s unhealthy is believing you have ownership over someone else and acting like it.

And when your partner is manipulative enough, you will allow it to happen without even realizing it.

be cerfull.

9) They invalidate your feelings

Manipulators don’t like to fight fair.

So when you raise or express a legitimate concern or emotion in the middle of an argument, their default move is to belittle and dismiss you.

This in itself is a form of gaslighting.

They are so cunning that they will make you feel like a hypersensitive hormonal lunatic, reveling in balanced superiority, without any guilt.

They may say things like, “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re completely overreacting,” which confuses you and makes you question your own judgments.

The bottom line is that your feelings matter. a lot.

Don’t let anyone, manipulative or not, tell you otherwise.

10) They use your fears against you

It’s a real low blow when a manipulator uses your vulnerability against you.

But the thing is, a lot of what they say is probably not true (or severely exaggerated), and instead is just a manipulative ploy to hurt you and get the upper hand.

Once you realize this, your morale can no longer be easily lowered.

I remember going through some serious financial issues at the height of the pandemic.

My business was in some significant debt, my savings were rapidly dwindling, and my phone was constantly inundated with angry texts and calls from creditors and suppliers threatening me.

I think it was the most stressful period of my life.

So of course, I regularly talked about my problems with my live-in girlfriend at the time.

Most of the time, she was understanding, sometimes comforting, and reassuring me that everything would be okay.

However, eventually, finances became very limited, and I started asking her to pay a little more for our shared bills.

This caused some significant friction.

We got into some pretty heated altercations. I remember thinking, “We’re this couple now. The one who fights over the money.”

I never thought we would get to this point, but here we are, competing hard to split rent and utilities.

During these fights, she would say some really hurtful things, calling me “poor” or “bad with money,” citing my past financial mistakes, the same mistakes I painstakingly and confidentially told her about.

This was a real turning point for me: the fact that she weaponized some of my most vulnerable confessions was damaging.

At the time, it seemed like a deal breaker.

We broke up after a few months for a number of reasons.

But I’d be lying if I told you that using my insecurities against me, at my lowest, wasn’t one of them.

LastWords

The bad news is that manipulative partners are everywhere. So it’s better to be a little careful.

If you suspect that you have a manipulative partner in your life and that they are someone you admire, it can be helpful to make an effort to sit down with them and try to talk about your issues.

But if that doesn’t work, or they become defensive over the idea of having to make fundamental changes, you owe it to yourself to walk away.

Stop enabling them and let them learn the hard way. A bit harsh, yes, but sometimes being firm is necessary.

Life is short, find the person who is compatible with you and your well-being. You owe it to yourself that much.