Okay, I’m going to ask you to sit down before you go into a real state of shock.

That’s right.

I put the words “narcissist” and “fake” in the same sentence. Who would have believed that?!

I’m joking, of course; we all know they’re fake as silicone! The signs you need are right there in front of you.

Let’s go through them one by one, so you can add them to your anti-narcissism toolkit.

1 Their Words Don’t Match Their Actions

When someone tells you they love you, it’s a wonderful feeling. But there comes a point when you have to convince yourself that these are just words, and they only mean something if they’re accompanied by a loving touch.

Related : 8 Things You Can Not Do With a Narcissist

When they treat you with respect, when they listen after a hard day at work, when they support you during difficult times, when they remain loyal, when they compromise, when they consider your feelings.

That’s love. An abuser can’t love you, but they tell you so. He may make promises and indulge you in a night of emotional intimacy—but that’s not love.

You have to recognize the difference between the two, and begin to see love in its fullest sense…

Nothing more, nothing less.

Only then can you define and build a healthy relationship.

2 They Love Hard—Then They Cool Down

They love hard, then they cool down, yes, then no, they get high, then low, wrong, then right—there are no gray areas with narcissists.

They’re either completely in love or completely in love. You get addicted to moments of happiness, and you learn to push through the moments of distress, knowing that more moments of happiness are coming soon.

Ask yourself—is this true love? Is love about being cold and cruel one moment, then declaring your love a few minutes later?

Related : Every Narcissist Uses The Same Three Words Before They Discard You

It’s not fair, is it?

But they’ll treat you this way to keep you on your toes, unaware of what lies ahead.

This is a level of caution I don’t recommend anyone engage in.

3 Everything is Conditional

I’ll do it, only if…

I do so much for you, and you can’t even manage it.

After all I’ve done for you, this is how you reward me.

I won’t be satisfied with you until you start arranging the house better than you already do.

Love is available, but you have to achieve something in the narcissist’s eyes to get it.

This constant temptation of the bait you can take is there, but the narcissist keeps it slightly out of reach, preventing you from receiving it.

It’s all intentional, but it’s like a false love connection coming your way…

…which means the narcissist always gets away with not loving you fully, blaming them for it.

4 You Always Feel Unworthy in Their Presence

What is this?

The people I ask can’t pinpoint the exact reason. They simply feel like they don’t live up to expectations, no matter how hard they try.

And these are successful people.

Good people. They have jobs, hobbies, morals; everything.

Related : 8 Weird Things Narcissists Do While Travelling

But there’s a catch, and it affects you every time you’re with them.

They have a habit of doing this, you know. And the way they do it is so subtle, you’d be the crazy person pointing it out.

That’s what they enjoy so much—seeing you feel crazy, but never being direct enough to point the finger at them.

They love that subtle control over you.

So weird.

5 They Never Apologize Sincerely

“Sorry” is obvious, I get that. But we say it when we feel like it, and we express it by being careful not to repeat what we’re apologizing for.

It’s not complicated; it’s self-reflection and self-responsibility.

Of course, we say “sorry” when we’ve hurt someone’s feelings, and then we act on that apology.

Narcissists stop saying “sorry.” That’s it. It seems like this is the end of the road for them, and you’re truly lucky if you get an apology.

Often, they won’t even care. However, if they try to pretend to love you, they’ll just say “sorry” without showing an ounce of remorse or guilt for upsetting you.

If these situations happen repeatedly, you’ll find yourself completely taken advantage of.

They promise not to repeat it, and without enough work hours, they often resort to the same old toxic tactics.

You’re only suffering because you tolerate it. There’s a way out, guys, and that’s to get the narcissist out of this situation.

6 You Feel Drained, Not Appreciated

Why does your relationship with them have to be so draining? What makes you feel like you’re climbing a hill, or even treading water to survive?

It should be easy. It should be fun, warm, exciting, and hopeful.

Related : 6 Proofs You Have Made The Narcissist Suffer

But it’s not.

This is because the narcissist won’t value you. They don’t know how, they won’t try, and they don’t believe in it.

I’ve even heard stories of narcissists scoffing at the idea of ​​valuing their partner.

How horrible!

I’m not a teenager with a superficial friendship.

I’m a grown-up.

What do you think of me?

How pathetic!

I don’t have time for this.

Actually, yes, narcissists have all the time in the world for this—they just don’t do it because they physically, emotionally, and mentally can’t.

So where does that leave you? Your values ​​are very different. You want to express your love and feel welcome in this relationship, and that simply isn’t happening.

You can’t talk about it because it always ends in an argument,

so you feel exhausted.

7 They dump you like you mean nothing to them

Love is love, right?

It’s the best feeling in the world when it’s reciprocated. But surely, if you love someone, you wouldn’t suddenly abandon them? You’d wish it would last forever, because, well, that’s love.

Related : 7 Times When Narcissists Accidentally Speak The Truth

Nope.

Let’s back up.

Love is your love. Not the love of narcissists, who, at the height of their selfishness, refuse to engage in such fragile feelings.

For them, love is full of risk and discomfort, and ultimately, they don’t feel worthy of it.

They don’t want to commit themselves to one person for the rest of their lives in the hope that they’ll one day expose them and leave.

So they pretend to love. That’s the only explanation for someone who’s ready to abandon their lover at any moment.

It’s sad for you, but it’s also a strong sign that you weren’t truly loved, even when they told you so.

Don’t be surprised by a narcissist’s ability to lie like this—it’s just the tip of the iceberg.