Looking back is great, and it would be great if we could refuse to let all narcissists into our lives, right?

Feeling them come and kicking them out of our lives would be a dream—but that’s not always possible.

We can’t choose who our family marries. We can’t choose who we work with most of the time. If we could, we’d all live peaceful, happy, fulfilled lives.

So what can you do when a narcissist comes knocking at your door? You can avoid getting sucked into it and do it with these eight powerful tactics that will keep them out.

Think of each one of them as your own personal can of bug spray. Arm yourself, and keep them away for good!

1 No More Second Chances

Stop it.

Don’t think, “Oh my god, that’s so harsh.”

We all make mistakes, and every so often, we all deserve a second chance to prove ourselves. In the process of atonement we find our connections with each other again, but what I’m talking about are those times we give narcissists time and time again.

Time and time again, you give them a second chance after they make a mistake. The first time you call them out on a grievous mistake should be the only time, because when you ignore the other times, you give them permission to treat you the way they want to.

More than that – you’re telling them in no uncertain terms that you actually have no boundaries. None. Ever.

Having no boundaries or self-preservation means that others can step on you. Narcissists will love that – but it’s only bad news for you.

2 Knowledge is Power

Trust me when I say how helpful it would be for you to learn about narcissism. You’ll hear this word a lot these days, as we live among a generation of selfie-obsessed people, trying to “impress” the world on social media, or celebrities with their inflated egos.

Don’t let that detract from the true meaning of narcissism.

Narcissism is persistent. Narcissists annoy you and will live there for free as long as you let them, but by knowing their behaviors, and the way they use people through charm and intelligence to work for them (aka the flying monkey) – you can win.

Related : Why Narcissists Can’t Stop Lying About Stupid Things

Narcissists don’t have to be in your life, and it’s up to you to do what you can to learn more about them, so you can always be one step ahead.

At all times.

3 Trust Your Intuition

The mind and intuition are closely linked. The way we feel stressed or excited comes from our thoughts about what to expect.

Do you see yourself as someone who trusts their intuition right now? Knowing the phrase and being the phrase are two separate things, but when it comes to a narcissist, it’s important to be able to sense when someone is off.

Eye Spy The Hollow Charm

Whether it’s that empty-like charm you see, or the way they act around different people. It probably has a lot to do with how often you hear them talk bad about other people when they’re not in the room.

If you listen to your intuition, it will tell you whether or not this person’s energy is worth getting to know. This is more likely to happen if you experienced narcissism as a child because your body will have learned how to respond to threats or the types of people who are physiologically threatening.

It’s your call who you let into your life, but it’s much easier to reject a narcissist than to clean up the mess they make when they claim settler rights to your deepest, darkest secrets.

4 Love and Abuse – Learn They’re Not the Same Thing

When you keep getting dragged into situations that hurt you or make you feel low and worthless, it’s time to get real with yourself.

Love and abuse are not the same thing.

What you tell yourself is not the same thing that can happen in a relationship with a narcissist of any kind. You see them as someone who is trying to be better. You see your life with them. They have moments when they treat you well. They say they love you.

These narratives need to go away. You can’t live knowing how much pain and hurt you feel because of the actions of someone who claims to love you.

Stop calling abuse “love.”

5 Learn What Love Bombing Means

I can’t stress enough that life is not a fairy tale.

We see it a lot, don’t we? Romantic movies, Disney happy endings, and even the perfect life people portray to us through social media. We see everyone living the life we ​​want, so when the opportunity arises, it’s easy to see the narcissist’s charm in your moment.

No.

Love bombing is different from someone being genuinely nice to you for several reasons.

The first reason – in love bombing there is a motive. The narcissist wants to get you addicted, so they will say or do really great things to get you to believe them.

Related : 8 Ways How Narcissists use Guilt To Control You

Number two – Love bombing makes those with low self-esteem suddenly feel seen or heard. They will start to see their insecurities being covered up by the narcissist’s affection. This never lasts.

Number three – Any time you feel like the narcissist has dragged you down, there will be an opportunity for the narcissist to erase your memory of the abuse and pain by giving you anything you want. A date night, a vacation, showering you with compliments.

All of these are designed to manipulate you into believing that the narcissist is a nice person, so finding out how someone does these things is a way to know they have narcissistic traits and is best avoided altogether.

6 Gaslighting Must Go Off

Oh, the narcissist will try to light you on fire every chance they get.

Their goal is to diminish your idea of ​​reality and replace it with theirs. They don’t want you to think for yourself or care about your version of events.

All of these things will be taken away from you under the narcissist’s control, but one very effective way to prevent this is to stick to your values. Don’t let them fall in love with anyone no matter how charming they seem.

Holding on to what you know to be true keeps that confident part of yourself alive and will keep the narcissist at bay.