Have you noticed that your friends are answering calls and messages less lately? Have you been wondering what’s up?
Well, maybe not them. it’s you. If you’re the one who regularly spreads gossip, competes with them, or even manipulates them, why would they go out with you?
But let’s dig deeper and see exactly what the signs are that you are the toxic person in your friendship group.
1) Constantly seeking attention and validation
Insecure people constantly ask their friends for validation or attention. They nag and push, call and text…it simply never ends.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have friends you can talk to and share your daily mishaps, funny things that happened, as well as your victories.
But imagine you have a WhatsApp group with your friends. If you’re the one sending messages 90% of the time, there may be something wrong with your friendship group dynamics.
This behavior can be stressful for your friends because they feel like they have to constantly boost your ego.
Especially if you are asking them to reaffirm your appearance, actions, relationships, etc.
2) Control conversations
The same goes for dominant conversations. It’s never a good idea for one friend to dominate the group.
Others will get tired of you sooner or later when they start feeling like the side characters in the group.
So, if you tend to dominate conversations and steer them toward your own experiences and interests without giving others a chance to participate, this may make your friends feel unheard and undervalued.
It can also make you highly toxic. This can also be the following behavior.
3) Gossiping and spreading rumours
Gossiping is fun. But if you gossip about others, there’s a good chance they’re talking about you behind your back, too.
Gossiping and spreading rumors creates a toxic environment within your friend group. It erodes trust and causes unnecessary conflicts between friends.
I describe gossiping as eating hot peppers. It’s incredible on the way in but terrible on the way out!
4) Excessive criticism and belittlement
I’ve written about constant criticism in many of my articles and how incredibly damaging it is to relationships. Any relationships.
Constantly criticizing and belittling your friends is definitely emotionally damaging and damaging to their self-esteem. It is also something that creates a negative and hostile atmosphere in the group.
So, if you are the one doing this, your group of friends will get smaller and smaller. You’ll notice that a friend or two often misses your get-togethers because they can’t stand being around you anymore.
Until finally, you won’t have anyone answering your texts or calls anymore.
5) Constant competition
Viewing everything as a competition creates toxic comparison and competition within the group.
For example, when someone in the group shares a personal struggle or difficult experience, you respond by sharing a more extreme or tragic incident.
Related : 7 signs you’re actually the one creating drama in your family
I can already see them rolling their eyes because it makes your friends feel unheard or diminished.
If you can’t understand that everyone is on their own journey and not everything is a competition, then there’s not much hope for you.
6) Create drama to attract attention
Drama queens. These two words send shivers down my spine. When you hear them, what associations come to mind?
Instability? absence of security? Self-centeredness? High maintenance? attention seeking?
You are the toxic friend in your group if you deliberately create drama or exaggerate situations to get your friends’ attention and sympathy.
Playing the victim, refusing to take responsibility for your actions and blaming others instead, and public emotional outbursts or meltdowns – all create drama.
As does the following toxic behavior.
7) Jealousy, grudges, and envy
Feeling envious or resentful of your friends’ successes or happiness also creates a toxic dynamic and leads to competition rather than true support.
Just because some of your friends are smarter, happier, prettier, etc., doesn’t mean you should be jealous of them.
Focus instead on how to improve yourself and move forward in life.
8) Manipulative behavior
A toxic friend maintains friendships based on what their friends can do for them rather than genuine interest and connection.
If you use manipulation to get what you want from your friends, it not only means you are toxic, but it also means you are a bad friend and person.
It damages trust and authenticity in your friendships, as people feel used or deceived. And this is true.
9) Difficulty apologizing sincerely
Why is it so hard for some people to say they’re sorry? To admit that they were wrong.
Nobody is perfect. Do they believe they are? It could be.
But if you find it difficult to sincerely apologize when you hurt someone’s feelings or when you make a mistake, this indicates a lack of empathy on your part. It also leaves your friends feeling left out and ignored.
As does this next sign of toxicity.
10) Poor effective listening
If there’s one thing that’s important for maintaining friendships besides consistency, it’s actively listening to them.
If you find it difficult to listen to your friends’ concerns and feelings of the care and respect they deserve, they will feel worthless and unappreciated as friends.
Related : If someone displays these 15 behaviours, they’re not a positive influence on your life
When you actively listen, you also begin to remember the little details they share with you. This means you can surprise them with a thoughtful gift or message the next time you see them. Or for their birthday.
11) Highlight your concerns
Another sign of toxicity is projecting your insecurities onto your friends, expecting them to meet your emotional needs without regard to their own struggles.
For example, you may misinterpret your friends’ actions or words, assuming that they are criticizing or judging you, even when they have no such intentions.
Or if you apologize frequently, even for simple things, you show your fear of making mistakes or being disliked by your friends.
12) Excessive pessimism and negativity
Just as some people project their insecurities onto their friends, others spoil the mood of the entire group with their excessive pessimism and negativity.
It’s okay to be negative sometimes, but dwelling on all the negative things that happen too often isn’t fair to anyone, let alone you.
