When your ex becomes another’s soulmate, there are some lessons you can learn from that, rather than thinking you’ll never find love again.
When I was little, my mother once told me that love is an inevitable force. I was raised to believe it – even when I didn’t want to. When I fell in love and lost myself in the process of loving another person, I realized how “inevitable” love can be.
Nobody falls in love with the idea of getting out of it.
We all want to be in love forever. Unfortunately, our lives do not always turn out the way we would like.
More often than not, the love of our lives is taken away in a non-ceremonial way. Almost all of us have seen how our “twin flame” can easily become the “flame that ran away”. With time, our veteran selves come to understand and accept the fact that finding a soul mate does not give us a license to gain happily ever after.
When we think we’ve found “the one,” our entire lives come to a halt. Then just when they become just another ex, utter chaos reigns.
No matter how heartbreaking it may seem, even devastating heartbreak can end up giving you some precious life lessons.
This is what you may learn when your soul mate becomes someone you used to know.
- You realize that nothing lasts forever.
No matter how much we try, there are some things in this world that just aren’t meant to be.
Every beginning and every end has its purpose in service. If something is supposed to be, the whole universe conspires to make it happen. Likewise, if it doesn’t work out, don’t force yourself to keep going through hell.
Pay attention to the signals in your surroundings and those your body is giving off.
When you lose the dearest person in your life and come to terms with their absence, you finally realize that forever is an insidious lie.
Want to know more about when your ex’s boyfriend becomes another? Read 7 important things you should know about recovery after a divorce or separation
- He stops being about them.
Once the pain of losing the person you never expected to lose comes, you will learn that there is nothing really important but yourself.
This is when you start to focus on yourself rather than on everyone else. A relationship often makes us turn our attention to one person — our partner. We often lose ourselves in the complexities of the relationship and neglect ourselves to the point of self-denial.
After the grief phase is over, we often return to our original selves. The extra time we get to ourselves is now used judgmentally and all to our advantage – we engage in self-reflection, prepare ourselves, invest in learning new activities and discover ourselves to the fullest.
- You lose a part of your heart, but you add more to your soul.
Without pain there is no birth of consciousness.
At first you may feel resentment and revenge towards the person who left you so vulnerable.
Once you get over the new wounds and acceptance begins, you will find yourself thanking this person for hurting you so badly. The path of power and strength you approach is such that you can rediscover yourself while navigating Hell.
What initially felt like a great emptiness and loss, will descend upon you as a blessing that has pushed you one step closer to yourself.
Are you looking to learn more about how you can feel better after your boyfriend becomes your ex? Read Getting Back Your Strength After a Terrible Breakup: 10 Breakup Survival Tips
- It teaches you that almost every relationship is temporary and comes with an expiration date.
One loss at a time teaches you the hardest truth about life – you don’t belong to anything, and nothing belongs to you.
It also teaches us that nothing lasts forever and that all relationships are temporary and end at some point. This lesson is important for all of us to get to a position when acceptance comes naturally to us and we can keep our definitions of expectations from others reasonable.
- Stop settling for anything ordinary.
Long periods of abuse, neglect, abuse, and toxicity in a relationship sap us of all of our positive outlook on life. Such a toxic relationship often leaves us self-pitying, makes us evaluate ourselves in a negative light, and teaches us to settle for less.
Once we realize that heartbreak has made us feel worthless all along, we bounce back and stop settling for anything that doesn’t meet our high standards — whether that’s a career choice, a new relationship, or our expected treatment from others; We understand that we deserve nothing less than the best.
- You realize that there is no such thing as “the one.”
After we fool ourselves into thinking our partner is “the one” we learn that the concept of “the one” is as vague and outdated as the love your ex said he felt for you! - You begin to enjoy all that the world has to offer.
Not everything may go according to your whims but after grieving, you become more accepting of uncertainty.
You are now more resilient and equipped with survival techniques to face whatever comes your way. You actively begin to look for positivity and seek happiness in all the mundane things in life.
Are you having trouble coping because your soul mate becomes your ex? Read 8 ways to turn your breakup into a breakup
- You realize there are quite a few roads that are never meant to be traveled again.
From the countless lessons I’ve learned through heartbreak, you also learn that there are paths in our lives that are best avoided—especially the path of pain and destruction. - No matter how angry or sad you feel, never stop believing in love.
Right after the heartbreak, you swear and vow that love doesn’t exist and it’s not your cup of tea, only to find yourself blushing to love quotes and fantasizing about the partner of your dreams a few weeks later!
Love is medicine, we all come back to it again and again.
- You begin to choose your battles wisely.
Fights are an inevitable part of life. This does not necessarily mean that we have to fight every battle that comes our way.
- Yes, you’re in love again.
It is not necessary to repeat a bad experience. Hence, never lose your faith in the healing powers of love.
You fall in love again but this time you are careful and aware of all the subtleties of the relationship.
- You gradually realize that you will become whole again.
Slowly over time, you heal yourself with your impulses.
The realization that no one but us can save us from chaos rests on you.
The recovery process often takes a lot of time and patience. Those who cling to hope and persevere will always find the light at the end of the hard road.
Want to know more about how you get over heartbreak? Read Recovering from Rejection and Breakup
- With each passing day, you learn that life goes on and that there is a deeper calling for you.
Love, relationships, belonging, fights, breakups, pain – these are an integral part of our lives.
But our lives as human beings on Earth have more meaning and responsibility than just being preoccupied with the thoughts of someone who has left us. With each passing day, you learn how to implement yourself as an agent of change for the collective well-being of the community.
- Make peace with yourself, realizing that love may be an inevitable force, but it is certainly not the strongest.
Achieving transcendence and peace with oneself are the two ultimate goals that we seek in life. Heartbreak teaches us that love is an inevitable part of our lives, but it is not the most powerful force to be reckoned with.
No matter how messy it may feel at times, you need to understand that this ending makes perfect sense. You must tame this storm and let it inspire you.
Take all the anguish and sadness you’re feeling and use it to make your life a work of art.
A story has no beginning or end: one arbitrarily chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or look into the future. – Graham Greene, The End of the Affair
