Many people with a narcissistic pattern or narcissistic personality disorder are ruthless. They rarely admit fault but always seem to find someone to blame. They may also seem so confident in what they say and do that those around them may doubt themselves.
If you have a narcissist in your life, you are more likely to become overwhelmed, overwhelmed, or confused than by the narcissist’s retreat. Over time, you may become accustomed to how dangerous and costly their actions are.
What is a narcissist and how is he different from the rest? One way to regain perspective is to remind yourself of the differences between narcissistic behavior and healthy behavior.
Here are the 13 characteristics of people with narcissism compared to healthy people:
Narcissists avoid introspection. Healthy people value introspection.
Narcissists lack empathy. Healthy people care about the needs and feelings of others.
Narcissists become hypersensitive to insults. Healthy people don’t take other people’s actions personally.
Narcissists act impulsively. Healthy people seek spontaneity.
Narcissists ruin the good mood of others. Healthy people celebrate and share in the good moods of others.
Narcissists deny or hide mistakes. Healthy people strive to learn from mistakes.
Narcissists are driven by fear. Healthy people recognize fears but cultivate hope.
Narcissists blame others. Healthy people take responsibility.
Narcissists object or withdraw when upset. Healthy people reach out when upset.
Narcissists get angry when they are criticized. Healthy people remain open to constructive criticism.
Narcissists follow a win-lose strategy. Healthy people follow a win-win strategy.
Narcissists hold grudges. Healthy people look for the solution.
Narcissists have superficial, one-way relationships. Healthy people have mutual relationships.
It is instructive to see how strikingly different narcissistic behavior is from healthy behavior. Seeing the behaviors of narcissistic people compared to how they strive to behave can raise three valuable questions:
Do I allow someone with narcissism to treat me differently than I allow others to treat me?
If so why?
What is the cost and is it worth it?
The answers to these questions can lead you to setting healthy boundaries with narcissistic people. The contrast between people suffering from narcissism and healthier individuals is also striking in the differences in values.
