Although we now know a lot about narcissists’ behaviors and what they do that remove their toxic tendencies, there are some strange things that narcissists do that you may not know.
There are some strange things I’ve noticed that narcissists do that aren’t usually mentioned as symptoms of their disorder but seem common enough that perhaps they should be included as additional criteria for NPD.
If you know someone who only does one or two of these things, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a nerd, but if they do several of them regularly and also seem to fit the most popular criteria for NPD. These things can be red flags to watch out for.
Related: 3 Phases of A Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: Idealize, Devalue, Discard
12 strange things narcissists do
- They don’t blink when they look at you.
Some novels have a predatory look. If a guy of the opposite sex looks at you this way, you might consider it sexual interest (and it might be), but pay close attention: if he doesn’t blink, it could mean he’s preying on you. Whether they blink or not, if staring at them makes you feel bad, walk away. Listen to your instincts.
- They interrupt you or talk to you constantly.
Interrupting is one of the weird things narcissists do. If someone only seems to care about what they have to say next, and they don’t seem to hear what you said, suspect a narcissist.
- Everything you say to them is really all about them.
Whatever you tell them is really all about them
If you tell them something about yourself, instead of acknowledging you, they always associate that with supporting something that happened to them. The Roz Chast cartoon above illustrates this very well. you are not existed.
- Their eyes look flat or dead.
This is a “dead” gift and those eyes usually belong to someone on the high spectrum – a malignant narcissist or a psychopath. Get away from this person. The above photo of psychopathic killer Jodi Arias shows how flat and dead their eyes can look.
- They sometimes act psychotic.
All malignant narcissists are insane, and their delusions can rival those of someone with schizophrenia. Narcissists who have been deprived of supply over long periods or who have experienced a severe loss can become psychotic.
Schizophrenia-like neologisms and nonsensical conversations that sound like the authority of words are not uncommon in a malignant narcissist who lives in mortal fear of losing his “mask of sanity.”
Related: Why You Should Stop Trying To Change The Malignant Narcissist
- They have dramatic and worrying mood swings.
Narcissistic mood swings (masking switching) can be so sudden and inexplicable that you might think you are dealing with someone with dissociative identity disorder (DID).
For example, a narcissistic mother could appear to be happily playing with her child and then suddenly, for no apparent reason, start screaming or hitting the child.
- It’s a bad sport.
They will act like children if they lose a game. I remember once seeing a grown man in his forties get so angry that he lost a game of Monopoly that he picked up a game board and threw it across the room, while everyone else looked on in horror.
If they can’t win, they will ruin the game for everyone.
- They have dark interests or like things that make most people uncomfortable.
Narcissists, especially on the spectrum, walk on the dark side and this manifests in their obsession with things like the occult, mass murderers, the Holocaust, or weapons. They may listen to dark music like death metal or watch murder movies.
Many people are interested in these things, but a malignant or psychopathic narcissist, even if they wear a mask of being moral citizens, usually has a secret hobby or interest in something dark or sinister. They may not talk about it in public, but they have one.
- They can’t let nature take its course.
If a woman has an excess of plastic surgery including a lot of face-lifts, she is probably a physical narcissist who lives in a mortal fear of aging.
- They have an affected way of speaking.
Dahhhh-ling, this can manifest as a fake foreign accent, or just a speaking voice that sounds fake and affected, like they’re acting on stage. To others he seems more annoying than charming.
- They use exaggerated behaviour, facial expressions or speaking sounds.
Like the actors in silent films, who used exaggerated expressions and behavior to compensate for the fact that they couldn’t speak in those films, some narcissists (perhaps because they can’t feel emotions the way normal people can) act exaggeratedly to the point of being somewhat hilarious.
This is also common in people with histrionic personality disorder (HPD), another cluster B disorder that some experts in personality disorders have speculated to be a physical form of narcissism and is more common in women.
- They have conversations with themselves.
I’ve heard many narcissists talk to themselves — and answer to themselves. Does this mean they are crazy? Do they hear voices in their heads?
Or do they practice what they might say to someone in a hypothetical conversation beforehand (remember, everything they do is fake, so they may have to plan how they will respond to others in advance)? who do you know I just know it’s weird as fck. My ex used to do this all the time — in front of the mirror, too.