Post-relationship disorder is a difficult thing to deal with, and the trauma it brings with it can be very stressful, both mentally and psychologically.
Man is a social animal. From birth to death, we enter into different relationships. Some relationships nurture and nurture us while some may turn out to be abusive or destructive.
If we experience sexual, physical, or emotional abuse (abandonment, rejection, or abuse) in our intimate relationships, it can have devastating long-term effects on our lives.
Psychologically, the trauma of physical, sexual, or emotional abuse within an intimate relationship is referred to as post-traumatic relationship syndrome (PTRS).
Here are 12 signs that a person may be suffering from post-relationship disorder or PTSD and what to do about it:
1) Changes in the response and adaptation mechanism.
In general, a person has a wide range of coping mechanisms at their disposal and uses them optimally by selecting the appropriate response from a full range of options in a calm and relaxed state of mind.
But, if a person is experiencing trauma, the range of coping mechanisms available to him is very limited. He is unable to reach a calm state of mind and choose an appropriate response situation from a wide range of coping mechanisms. His response and coping mechanisms often include fear, terror, panic, terror, and anger.
2) Flashbacks and nightmares.
If someone is under extreme stress in a relationship or is abused in any way: physically, mentally or emotionally in intimate relationships, this can have a far-reaching effect on an individual’s psyche.
A person can begin to have flashbacks, hallucinations, and vivid memories of the events that caused the trauma as if they are reliving it.
They may also begin to have nightmares of their partner yelling at them, cheating on them, cheating on them, or abandoning them.
It can make a person so afraid, vulnerable, and desperate that the haunting memories never seem to leave them.
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3) Anxiety, panic attacks and obsessive thoughts.
If you have experienced abuse in your intimate relationships, it can destabilize your entire worldview.
Post-relationship stress disorder can shake your core beliefs such as:
This world is a nice place or good things happen to good people or one that is well equipped to handle crisis situations.
Mistrust and fear can lead to persistent anxiety, panic attacks, and the underlying constant feeling of living on edge.
Sometimes people who have experienced traumatic relationships fall into a cycle of obsessive thoughts. They keep asking, “What was their mistake?” “,” What could they have done better? And it takes a lot of time to come to terms and accept the situation and let go of obsessive thoughts of self-criticism.
4) Feeling suspicious and distrustful.
We are often caught off guard in our intimate relationships because we trust the other person to take care of our well-being. But if we are being abused by the same person we trusted wholeheartedly, it breaks the foundation of our trust.
PTRS survivors tend to go into a state of hypervigilance. They always have their guard up and become full of suspicion. They feel that the world is out there to get them and find it hard to trust people easily.
5) Sleep disorders.
If your mind and heart are not at peace, it is almost impossible to get a good night’s sleep.
Pain and anxiety can appear profusely at night in the form of nightmares, flashbacks, and night sweats. It can seriously disrupt an individual’s sleep cycle and lead to severe insomnia.
6) Persistent feelings of anger and anger.
Feelings of pain and hurt can lead to intense bitterness, anger, and rage in the individual towards the perpetrator of the trauma. It also affects their ability to see the bright side of life and they may start to hate even those things that they used to enjoy before.
7) Insomnia and apathy.
Depression and pain can manifest in two ways, it can either lead to extreme anxiety on the one hand and apathy on the other.
People who have experienced PTRS can either become very sad or sad on the one hand or emotionally numb on the other hand. They can only emotionally shut down and check in order to protect themselves from any further pain.
8) Significant weight gain or loss.
Extreme weight loss or gain is a sign that your body is going through a shock.
When you’re in an abusive relationship, it feels like you’re walking on eggshells and your body’s fight-or-flight response activates. It in turn affects your energy and immune system and leads to significant weight loss or gain.
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9) Not feeling safe or secure in the world.
Traumatic stressors of intimacy challenge a person’s core belief system and knowledge of self/world. They are unable to trust that the world is a safe place and that people are generally kind.
They also begin to question themselves about how they are unable to recognize the intentions of the abuser early on and begin to doubt their ability to accurately judge a person.
They also lose confidence in their ability to deal with crisis situations because they elicit their response in this distressing situation to mean that this is how they will always respond to crisis situations.
To break out of this cycle of painful belief systems, the person must slowly and gradually adopt new models and belief systems.
10) Fear of intimate relationships (or a specific type of intimate relationship).
The devastating effects of trauma from stressors in intimate relationships are much more so than they are in other traumatic situations because of the human element involved.
It is because we are so attached to and completely trust the individual and when that trust is broken in an intimate relationship it can severely impair our ability to trust people in intimate relationships.
It can lead to a lot of symptoms of physical arousal such as fear and panic and the individual eventually begins to associate these feelings with this specific type of relationship.
For example, if a person has experienced any kind of abuse in a romantic relationship, they may become overly guarded and afraid of only intimate romantic relationships when they could function normally and enjoy other relationships.
11) Sexual promiscuity or complete lack of interest in sexual activities.
Sometimes people who have experienced sexual abuse may turn to sexual promiscuity as a way to regain their strength or to numb their pain by indulging in casual sex.
On the other hand, some sexual assault survivors can completely deny the idea of sexual intimacy. They may even recoil at the slightest touch because they fear that the emotions and pain will reappear if they indulge in sexual activities.
12) Self-blame, excessive crying, and social isolation.
Post-relationship stress disorder can make a person very self-critical. They continue to question their role in the downfall of the relationship or if they could have done anything different to save the relationship.
The intense pain and hurt can lead to continuous periods of unbearable crying and sadness. The pain is often accompanied by feelings of shame and guilt and the person enters a period of social isolation.
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How to recover from PTRS
The first step to recovery from PTRS is to be kind to yourself. It wasn’t your fault if the person you trusted turned out to be the abuser. You have already been through tremendous pain and stress and deserve every bit of your love and compassion. Make your recovery a priority over everything else.
Seek counseling or another type of professional help, take up hobbies you enjoy, do volunteer work, join support groups, indulge in self-care rituals, go to a spiritual retreat, or meditate. Create healthy boundaries. Learn to say no. Don’t let anyone suck the energy out of your life. Be selfless with your time and energy.
But do not rush the healing process. Be as kind and patient with yourself as you would be with a friend who is struggling.
It’s okay to not be well for a while. Don’t numb or run away from your feelings, this way you will only trap them in your system. Instead, feel them and let them out.
