The feeling of guilt is terrible.
And if you’re an empath like me, you’ll be willing to do anything to get rid of him.
That’s why master manipulators use guilt to get what they want, and they do it best through clever mind games.
So…is there anyone making you feel guilty? You better pay attention. They are probably trying to tie strings around you so they can control you like a marionette.
Here are 12 clever mind games that manipulators play to make you feel guilty.
1) Exaggeration of suffering
Suppose they are going to a party with their friends.
But then, the friend who was supposed to pick them up couldn’t come, and now they’re trying to borrow your car so they can go.
When you say, “No, sorry,” they react as if they just received news that they have cancer.
Related : 14 red flags you’re dating a covert narcissist
Not only will they make you feel bad for ruining their night, but they’ll also make you feel bad for ruining their life!
They’ll say it in a very dramatic way like you’re in a TV show – of course, they’re the hero and you’re the cold-hearted villain.
2) Use your past “mistakes”.
Let’s stick with the same example above.
When you try to defend yourself by telling them that you have the right to say “no” because you are not comfortable lending your car to anyone, they will continue to play the victim.
They will then remind you of the many other times you “rejected” them, “hurt” them, or did them no favors.
They’ll say something like, “You’ve always been that way with me. Remember you didn’t let me borrow $5 when we were kids? That’s just five bucks, bro!”
Manipulators like to guilt trip you by recalling other times you’ve “humiliated” others into submission.
By doing this, they want you to change your mind and try to be the “good guy” this time. After all, I’ve always been the “bad guy.” It’s your chance to redeem yourself.
3) Apologize when there is nothing to be sorry about
Tell them – in the nicest way possible – that they should put the cups they use in the sink.
Or maybe they should start looking for an apartment because you can’t let them stay for another six months.
They will apologize in an exaggerated way to make you feel like you are exaggerating everything, and that you are selfish and picky.
They’ll even add, “I promise it won’t happen again. I don’t want to be a bother to you anymore.”
It’s annoying because if you really think about it, you haven’t done anything wrong!
4) Tell a sad story
Manipulators love to tell you about their miserable past.
This way, you will subconsciously want to take care of them. After all, how much cruelty are you adding to their suffering!
“Oh, are you kicking me out? You don’t even care about how I almost died of a cold when I was nine years old.
“Oh, do you want me to pay you the full amount? I hope you consider the fact that my family has cut me off financially.
Of course they’ll get more dramatic and say “How could you do this to me? You, of all people, should know better. You know my struggle!”
5) Indulging in self-pity
“No one really loves me.”
“I think I’ll be miserable forever.”
“Of course, why did I expect to find true love? I know I’ll be alone forever.”
Manipulators like to pity themselves, especially in front of others. Why? So of course they will get what they want.
Naturally, we don’t want people to feel bad about ourselves and some of us would do anything just to make them feel better.
This is what manipulators like: to get as many favors as possible. And throwing a pity party always works!
6) Excessive praise
Receiving praise is usually a good thing. But it can make you feel terrible when you feel like you don’t deserve it.
Professional manipulators know how to praise in a way that makes people feel guilty.
They won’t exaggerate it too much, but you know that’s not entirely true either. The difference is subtle, but that’s what makes them such master manipulators.
For example, if you’ve recently set boundaries. They will tell you indifferently: “Rachel is selfish. It’s a good thing you’re not like her. You’re my most selfless friend!”
This praise can make you feel good and bad at the same time.
Good because it makes you seem better than Rachel, but bad because you know you’re not the most generous person either (especially since you’ve been setting boundaries lately).
This praise is not genuine, of course. It’s a classic strategy. Its purpose is to manipulate you into doing more of what they praise you for.
7) “I’ve changed”
This phrase can make you feel guilty, especially if the person saying it is someone you’ve already known for a long time.
This translates to “You were nice before, but now you’re a selfish bitch.”
Related : 15 psychological tricks to outsmart a manipulator
It translates to “You were kind, but now you’re a cold-hearted ice queen.”
They say this so you have to do everything you can to prove to them that no, you are still the same old nice person!
8) “Are you happy now?”
Master manipulators know how to mess with your head.
If you ask them to do something and you know they are completely against it, they won’t say a word.
They’ll start doing exactly what you want them to do, but the clear sign that they’re doing it in a passive-aggressive way is that they’ll give a big smile or really shut up.
Of course, they do this to condemn you.
They do this to prove their point, that you are an idiot who doesn’t care about others!
This is a clever technique to make you feel spoiled.
You will then say “sorry” for making them feel that way and will do whatever it takes to make them feel better. And voila! They won.
9) He killed you with kindness
This is the “I’m still nice to you even if you’re not nice to me” approach – a favorite of many manipulators.
Let’s say you offended them in some way or did something they didn’t like.
Smart manipulators won’t lash out and tell you outright how hurt they feel.
Instead, they’ll keep quiet… and then kill you with kindness. They will smile at you, act so sweet, and even compliment you like an angel.
By making you feel like the bad guy, they hope you will do what they want you to do.
10) Pointing out how “lucky” you are.
If they are broke, they will tell you how lucky you are to have rich parents.
If they’re having a hard time finishing a presentation, they’ll tell you how lucky you are because you don’t have anything else to do.
Of course, anyone can say these things without being manipulated.
But what’s special about a manipulator is that he’s actually telling you these things so he can get favors from you, like loan him a few dollars or help him with a presentation.
11) “I thought you were different”
This usually works for people with a savior complex.
So you do something that doesn’t make them happy.
They will make sure you feel guilty by telling you that you not only hurt them, but also disappointed them in a big way.
It’s as if what you did has completely changed the way they look at life and humanity as a whole!
Of course if you’re an empath, you don’t want someone to think that way. You don’t want them to think that the world is a cruel place and that everyone is out to get them.
It also made an impact on you to know that they saw you as someone special – someone unlike anyone else. It’s natural to want them to look at you that way again.
12) “Thanks for nothing”
This may seem like a clever remark that people should make lightly, but it is still an effective way to convict yourself of guilt.
Master manipulators are sneaky. They use jokes and sarcasm so they can say, “Huh, but it was just a joke!” Or what? Did you take that seriously?”
But trust me, if you suspect they are manipulative, this statement is loaded.
It aims to pressure you to provide more services to them.
