One day he sent me a message that made me angry. After trying to analyze every word he wrote, I decided to seek professional advice. I gathered my friends and we talked about it over coffee.

We all agreed that there has to be a whole science to sexting in dating and that there are certain unwritten rules that you have to learn to navigate one way or another.

In fact, there’s a list of toxic text messages that we’ve all received at some point (and probably been guilty of sending). Here’s what we’ve decrypted for you.

“I hope you’re having fun without me ;)”

So, this is a basic Sam text. You can send it to your friend when he is out without you to spoil his night. The truth is, you don’t want him to have fun. In fact, the last thing you want is for him to have a good time.

You hope he feels sorry for going out without you. You want him to spend the whole night blaming himself for leaving you home alone.

However, you won’t tell him that directly. In fact, when he asked you if you would mind spending the night with the boys, you said you were totally fine with that.

Here is another example of passive aggressive behavior that we all commit at times.

The truth we all know but refuse to say out loud is that there is a big difference between writing “Okay,” “OK,” “K,” and “KK.”

You don’t have to add an emoji or anything; The difference between one or two letters will be enough to express your feelings.

There’s nothing wrong with saying “Okay.” It really means that you are okay with whatever you are told. If you add an extra smiley face, there won’t be anything toxic in this text.

“KK” means you received the message. You will send this to your best friend when he tells you that he is on his way to pick you up or that he finished that task you were talking about.

When you type OK, and put a period at the end, everything becomes quite clear; All is not well.

However, “K” is the worst of all. It’s cold and sends the message that you don’t want to even bother writing a decent response.

You refuse to waste your time explaining what’s wrong or why you’re angry. Maybe you wrote a long paragraph about your feelings but then you deleted everything and just sent a “K”.

“Will not bother you anymore.”

What does this mean? “I see you don’t care about me anyway, so I won’t try anymore.” “You obviously want to be left alone, so I won’t call or text anymore.”

When you receive this text, the other party feels emotionally neglected. However, instead of telling you this directly, they will try to turn the tables so that they are the ones to leave first.

No, I’m not talking about actually leaving the relationship or breaking up, that refers to leaving the conversation.

The worst thing you can do here is say things like: “Thanks, I really need some time to clear my thoughts,” or otherwise imply that you don’t really want to be bothered.

This text is a cry for validation. If your friend sends it to you, he wants you to say something like: “No, you don’t bother me at all, let’s talk.”

“Good afternoon.”

Sending a sweet, romantic goodnight text at the end of your day is a sign that you are thinking about your loved one. You want him to be the last person you text before you enter the dream world.

Basically, sending and receiving text messages before bed is a sign of great affection. However, this message can also be very toxic.

Have you ever been in a situation where someone texted you, “Good night” in the middle of a discussion? Or maybe it was you who did it?

It was not yet night and it was clear that they were not going to sleep. Instead, this text literally means: “I’m done talking to you” (but I don’t want to directly tell you to back off).

“Hey, remember that time…?”

This is a toxic text you’re likely to get from your manipulative ex.

Do you know the person you loved so much but who ended up manipulating you in one way or another? Of course, you never got a final result, but over time, you kind of healed.

Now, months after he disappeared from your life, here is his name on your screen.

You expect an apology or something but you get this. You get a text message reminding you of some great memories you had together. What’s up with that? What is this toxic man trying to achieve?

Well, he wants to soften your heart. He wants you to remember all the good times you had together instead of focusing on the way he hurt you.

Of course, his ultimate goal is to break your heart again or just get into your pants.

“Enjoy your time with all those other guys/girls since they have your attention now.”

You saw that your best friend liked a girl’s selfie or you suspected that he is with his girlfriends that you don’t like.

However, you won’t ask him about that. You will not be a mature person and ask for a logical explanation.

Instead, you just have to send him this text. You make it clear that you know what he was up to. Not only that, but you’re also letting him know that you won’t compete for his attention.

You give it to them without lifting a finger because you don’t see it as worth your fight.

“I wish you a good life.”

You send or receive this when you break up. Wishing your ex all the best means that you are a kind-hearted person and do not hold any grudges towards the people who hurt her.

At least that’s what it will be like if your intentions are sincere. But we all know they are not.

In fact, when you send this text message, you are just trying to humiliate the other person by showing that you are the better person. You want them to feel more guilty about everything they did to you.

You want them to think, “Oh, I hurt this girl so much but even so, she still wants me to be happy.” Of course, what you don’t add is: “…but I know it would be impossible without me.”

“I hope it was worth it.”

You may not see it now but breaking my heart wasn’t worth it. Leaving you for someone else was the biggest mistake of your life.

You will have the rest of your life to regret this bad choice. You will mourn me and miss me, sooner or later.

That’s what this toxic text actually means, right? If you send it, you want the person who hurt you to feel bad about everything they did to you. You’re basically being passive aggressive here.

“If you say so.”

You obviously don’t agree with what he’s saying or you don’t believe a word that comes out of this man’s mouth.

Either way, you don’t plan to waste any time or energy dealing with it. You don’t want him to do any explaining, and you don’t want to argue. So, just send this text.

Basically, it means, “You’re talking nonsense but I’ll let you do it because I couldn’t care less.”

“Come on, let’s talk in person.”

When you receive this text, it can be a sign that the other person is a mature adult who wants to solve your problems face to face.

However, if we are talking about your ex, I assure you that his intentions are not sincere. In fact, this man knows that it will be easier for him to manipulate you when he sees you in person.

He’ll smile at you, maybe start kissing you, and before you know it, you’ll be on your knees, literally and figuratively.

On the other hand, you may have used this technique as well. You know you made a mistake and you are willing to make up for it.

So you can set a romantic mood, get dressed and wait for him to come.

Of course, you rarely end up discussing anything, but at least you got what you wanted; It’s yours again.

“Don’t text me again!” Half an hour later “So, you really have nothing to say?”

When you send the first text message, you want to be the one to end the conversation. You don’t want to have anything to do with the other person and you are the one to end it.

However, secretly, you expect him to keep texting you. You want him to beg you and the last thing you want is to be left alone.

However, that is exactly what it does; Stop texting you. You can’t believe this is happening.

Is this really the time when this man decided to follow your desires and listen to what you have to say?

Is he really ready to let you go without a fight? Wouldn’t he at least try to make things right? You have no other choice but to attack him for his indifference.

To conclude:

I’d be happier if I could tell you to quit those texting games, but hey, you and I both know that’s impossible in today’s world. At least in the beginning when you meet someone new.

If nothing else, I hope you find a serious, healthy relationship where both of you are completely honest about your feelings and when you don’t receive or send messages like this.