10 ways to identify and break free from toxic relationships

All of us want healthy, happy and successful relationships.

But unfortunately it doesn’t always work that way.

We can find ourselves stuck in unhealthy relationships that bring pain and sadness when they should bring joy.

Sometimes, we don’t see the warning signs until it’s too late. Other times we know what’s going on, but we don’t know what to do to make it better.

This article will help you empower yourself.

We’ll go over all the ways to identify toxic relationships and eventually break out of them.

So, let’s not waste any time!

How do you know if your relationship is toxic? 15 signs to look for

1) There is a lack of support
Relationships are about teamwork.

You should feel like you have someone by your side, by your side to live with.

So, if there is a general lack of interest in each other’s lives, you may feel much more lonely.

It may seem that your needs, wants, and desires don’t matter that much.

Instead of being your cheerleader, you may feel like they are trying to compete with you.

If they feel like you’ve “won” something, this upsets them and so they want to try to bring you down with a peg or two to get the upper hand.

2) Some very bad things were said
They say that while sticks and stones may break your bones, words can never hurt you. But boy are they wrong.

The truth is that the words we speak can cause a great deal of pain and sadness.

In many ways, we can be violent with our words. They strike.

Your relationship may be toxic if you have difficulty speaking to each other with respect, kindness, and decency.

For example, discussions quickly turn into shouting matches. Or even your simple daily interactions are filled with harsh words or harsh sarcasm.

This takes its toll. Criticism, sarcasm, snide remarks, and a lack of empathy leave you feeling frustrated.

3) Jealousy takes over
I say he takes care of it because the truth is that a little jealousy in a relationship is normal.

In some ways, it’s just a sign that you care.

But if the green-eyed monster appears too regularly in your relationship, it’s not good.

If this turns into widespread possessiveness, you are stuck in a toxic situation.

Suspicion and mistrust can quickly ruin a relationship.

4) Envy gets in the way of celebrating each other
In a healthy relationship, we like to see our partner thrive.
So we rejoice for them when good things happen and share in their success.

We are proud when their hard work, efforts, and talents are rewarded.

That should ring alarm bells if this is not the case in your relationship.

For example, if they seem envious or even bitter when good things happen to you.

5) You feel nervous about what you say or do
Walking on eggshells seriously hinders intimacy.

It’s hard to be ourselves when we feel constantly hypervigilant.

Thus it puts a strain on relationships.

Maybe you feel like everything you say or do is always wrong. Your best efforts are met with stress.

You’re worried about raising your concerns because you don’t want arguments. So you simply try to do whatever it takes to avoid conflict.

6) The relationship is full of lies and dishonesty
We all lie. But for most of us, we only talk a little.

Research has found that 75% of people only tell one or two lies a day.

Perhaps surprisingly, we are more likely to lie to the people we care about most than to others. But remarkably, 88.6% of people said they were white lies.

They are often spoken to spare the feelings of others. For example, saying you like a gift when you don’t.

The remaining 11.4% were described as “big lies.” These are the types of destructive lies.

They break trust.

Maybe it’s your partner who you suspect is lying. Or maybe you find yourself lying too.

For example, you find yourself deceiving because you worry about how they will react to the truth.

It’s a primary sign of toxicity in a relationship if you can’t be fundamentally honest with each other.

7) Neglect yourself
You may feel like you’re starting to lose sight of yourself. Maybe to the point that sometimes you feel like a different person.

9) There are controlling behaviors
You can’t go anywhere without constantly being asked what you’re doing or who you’re with.

If you spend anything, even your own money, it is met with 1001 questions.

If you fail to respond to texts or phone calls immediately, they will get angry. Even the things you wear may be checked.

All of these point to control issues.

It can stem from jealousy or lack of trust. But either way, if your partner doesn’t feel completely in control, he’s not happy.

10) Accumulation of resentment, frustration, and bitterness
Conflict is an inevitable part of all relationships, whether we like it or not.

But how we handle it can make or break our relationships.

If grudges are held, it can erode the goodwill in your relationship.

In its place, irritation mounts.

If grievances are not raised, addressed, and resolved, you may feel that a lot of resentment begins to build up.

11) There is a feeling of disrespect
We all know how important respect is in building strong relationships, but we don’t always know how to identify its absence.

This is because basic respect shines through in many small ways.

Things like making plans and keeping them, rather than constantly canceling them. Or respond to messages within a reasonable period.

Of course, some of this also comes down to communication and expectations. But it’s a red flag if you often feel disrespected or rejected.

12) There is a lot of avoidance
We all take different approaches when dealing with things. For some of us, this approach hides from difficulties.

The “lying” strategy seeks to avoid as much conflict as possible.

You may choose to do this by trying to cover up your problems or simply trying to stay out of your partner’s way as much as possible.

If you both avoid each other, something is not working.

13) Different days, different drama
That’s the thing, your relationship is unique. So there may be very specific things happening to you.

But regardless of those details, they fall under one simple heading:


It never feels like an easy ride. There is always a new challenge, new obstacle, or new problem coming your way.

Instead of improving your life, your relationship seems to make it worse.

14) You’re starting to feel trapped
Your head is spinning so much that you can’t see a way out.

You want things to be different, but you don’t know how. You may now feel defeated, drained, and hopeless.

You know you want this to be over, but you feel stuck and don’t know how to break the pattern.

(Keep reading for some practical tips to help you break the cycle!)

15) You cling to memories of better times
Here’s why it’s so hard to get out of toxic relationships:
Because they usually weren’t always that way.

At first, just being in this person’s presence may have made you feel on top of the world.

I felt special, cared for, and important.

Even though it seems like a distant memory, it is still a memory.

And so you cling to the past, the good times, and the connection you once felt.

You wonder if you can make a change to get back to that place.

But deep down in your heart, you may know that your relationship cannot be saved and that you need to break free.