Have you ever felt like the people around you are holding you back? That they don’t really care about you or want what’s best for you?

If so, I know how you feel. It’s a terrible situation to be in because even though you still care about them, you’re starting to wonder if they’re a bad influence on you.

Well, by the end of this article, it will be clear to you. Here are 10 signs that you are surrounded by people who bring you down:

1) You are constantly being criticized
It is painful to constantly be put down. I get it, I’ve had friends like this in the past.

They choose everything you do. From the way you dress to your career.

And God forbid you ask them for advice!

I remember going to a supposed “friend” after I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. Instead of offering sympathy or hope for the future, I delved into saying that it was somehow my fault.

If you are surrounded by people like this, they are not your tribe.

Constructive criticism is good. Criticism for the sake of it is not.

2) You don’t feel supported
Let’s say you’re excited about starting a new career. You’ve finally branched out and this is a big step for you.

However, when you tell people around you, instead of seeing their faces light up and excited questions flow, you notice them frowning.

They’re starting to wonder why you’re failing.

The same goes for anything good you try to achieve in your life. They somehow managed to get away with all of this, leaving you wondering why you told them in the first place.

This is a sign that they do not have your best interests at heart.

3) You feel their envy and jealousy
Building on the previous point, if people around you are putting you down and refusing to support you, it is usually out of jealousy.

I recently came home to visit my extended family after a long time. I moved to another country several years ago. I imagined that my first visit would attract a lot of questions, such as: “How is life abroad? What do you do? How did you meet your husband?”

In 5 days, I have not been asked once. Not a single question about my life.

It was around this time that I remembered why I didn’t communicate with my extended family – they have a toxic tendency to put people down.

Unfortunately, most of this is due to envy!

4) You notice that they thrive on your failures
This is probably one of the saddest signs that you are surrounded by people who bring you down:

They seem to get real pleasure from seeing you suffer.

He’s the friend whose face lights up when you tell them you lost your job.

Or the aunt who smiles when you mention that your relationship broke down…usually followed by, “I told you it wouldn’t work out!”

You may find them gossiping about it behind your back, eager to spread the word.

People who care about you and want what’s best for you will share your pain, not enjoy it. Never forget that.

5) You feel drained by their company

Do you come home after spending time with people and then feel completely devastated?

Do you feel like you’re going through emotional ups and downs after every coffee or dinner date?

This is another classic sign that you are not surrounded by good people.

Whether it’s their negativity (which we’ll talk about later) or their constant criticism, you find yourself dreading being around them.

Remember, you are not obligated to keep anyone in your life. It doesn’t matter if they are family. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been friends with them for years.

If they drag you down, you’re better off without them.

6) You have become isolated
If you are surrounded by people who bring you down, they are likely to be manipulative as well.

Through their manipulative behavior, they may encourage you to spend time only with them.

When you try to expand and make friends with others, they will laugh at you and say, “Why do you want to spend time with them?”

Every time you get into a relationship, they have something negative to say.

Ultimately, by bringing you down and isolating you from everyone else, they keep you under their control.

My advice is to cut off such people immediately.

Kind and honest people will not feel threatened by meeting a partner or making new friends.

7) You face resistance whenever you try to change
Over the past few years, I have worked hard on developing my personality. Countries have moved. I changed my profession.

However, there were a few people in my life who seemed to find fault with every step I took forward.

In other words, they are resistant to change.

Do you agree with this?

They may feel threatened by the new, evolving “you.”

Or maybe they’re jealous of all the progress you’re making.

Either way, you need a good support system around you. Personal development, or any change for that matter, requires the encouragement and support of others.

8) You can’t rely on them
Have you noticed that people around you are quick to ask for your help, but when you need their help, they are nowhere to be seen?

In other words – unreliable.

This shows that they do not respect or value you. I understand that this may be difficult to hear.

But if you’re constantly going around doing things for others, and yet they can’t do even a simple favor for you? They are just taking advantage of your good nature.

By being unreliable, they avoid having to support you. They avoid having to keep their promises.

Ultimately, this will leave you feeling alone, unsupported, and uncared for. Not a good place to be (and a sign that you should surround yourself with better people).

9) You are bombarded with negativity
Ah, the negativity. Negative Nelly. Whatever you want to call it, negative people are good at putting others down.

They suck the positive energy out of you. They are experts at turning something beautiful into something gray and ugly.

Every time you excitedly call them to tell them some good news, you regret it. Because they manage to turn things around, point out every negative angle they can, and leave you feeling down in the dumps.

Now, you can try to explain how their negative attitude frustrates you, but in the end, you may need to distance yourself from them.

Negative people rarely change in my experience.

Instead, look for happy and positive people. Not toxic positivity, but realistic positivity.

You deserve to be near those who lift you up and bring you happiness.

10) You are encouraged to keep hurting yourself
Whether it’s bad habits or harsh internal criticism, another sign that you’re surrounded by people who bring you down is encouraging you to mistreat or sabotage yourself.

Here’s a small example:

You notice how much you hate your stomach rolls. You call yourself disgusting.

People who frustrate you will likely agree with you. They may go so far as to tell you that you should eat less or exercise more. The next step will be to compare you to someone who is obese (which is a clear exaggeration).

On the other hand, a good, honest and encouraging friend will say:

“It’s unfortunate that you see yourself this way, I think you’re as wonderful as you are. But if you want to do something about it, I’m willing to go for a walk together or learn how to cook healthy meals!”

See the difference? The first is designed to make you feel bad about yourself.

The second is to make you feel supported and loved.

finalthoughts

It’s not easy to realize that you are surrounded by people who are not right for you.

But see this as a positive thing. The sooner you recognize the signs that you’re being pulled down, the sooner you’ll be able to do something about it.

When I left my toxic family and friendship groups, I felt alone at first. But more than being lonely, she was calm and happy. Because I had no negative comments or energy drain.