It is a very common idea that women are probably better at handling relationships than men because they are more emotionally mature and emotionally intelligent than men. But still, there are some mistakes that women make that end up ruining their relationships forever.
“Love is not just giving. It is wise giving and wise withholding as well. It is wise praise and wise criticism. It is wise argumentation, struggle, confrontation, prodding, pushing and tugging as well as consolation. It is leadership. ‘Wise’ means seeking judgment, and judgment demands more.” out of instinct; it requires thoughtful and often painful decision-making.” – M. Scott Beck, The Road Less Traveled
Relationships like any other area of life require a balance of intellect and emotion. The most common mistake people make in relationships is that they get carried away with their own instincts and emotion and completely forget to tap into their own sanity and judgment. This pattern is exaggerated for women because they are resilient differently than men. They see and interact with the world differently than men.
Here are the 10 biggest mistakes women make in relationships
1) You don’t know your own worth.
Here’s the truth, ladies: If you don’t love and value yourself, it will reflect in your behavior in a big way. This is one of the biggest mistakes women make in relationships.
Are you attracted to unavailable men? Do you chase them even after they show no interest in you? Are you shy about showing your needs or asking for what you want? Do you tolerate unacceptable behavior? Hope things will change for the better one day?
If you answered yes to most of the above questions, then you, my friend, do not know your worth and, as a result, are engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. And men are not blind to such behavior. No man loves or respects a woman who will allow him to treat her shabby.
Your lack of self-esteem may stem from two fears: the fear of not being good enough and the fear of not being loved.
Ironically, these two fears cause you to act in ways that make you unattractive and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And the only way to break the cycle is to recognize your worth, to know what you’re worth, and to not put up with anything or anyone that doesn’t treat you with respect and love. If you lose such a person who does not treat you with love and respect, it is not a loss but a great blessing.
“If someone does not treat you with love and respect, it is a gift if they turn away from you. If this person does not turn away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with them. It may hurt you to walk away, but your heart will heal in the end. Then you can choose what you want. You will find that you are You don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.” Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Related: 10 Silly Habits That Seem Insignificant But Slowly Ruin Relationships
2) You stay more in your masculine energy.
Every person has masculine and feminine energy inside of them, regardless of gender. To be a well-balanced and developed human being, one needs to balance these two energies.
Sometimes, however, women in the effort to succeed in their careers or because of the stress of being a single parent or the sole breadwinner for the family become too entrenched in their masculine energy.
They are very successful in their careers but are not able to let go of their masculine role and embrace their feminine energy even after they are out of their workplace.
The problem is that masculine energy seems like you can do everything on your own, while feminine energy is more about acceptance.
Men are equipped to be service providers and problem solvers. They want to be your hero and serve you.
But if they feel that you are superior and don’t need them for anything, they won’t be inspired to make any efforts to pursue you or do things for you. On the other hand, it can attract men who want to be pampered and taken care of, without giving anything away in the relationship and you don’t want such an arrangement.
3) You don’t understand how men work.
It is very easy to deal with men if we understand how men handle wires and how they work.
Guys are very simple creatures, they like to focus on one thing at a time and they are very straightforward. They love to be problem solvers and take pride in being a protector and provider.
Men are equipped to serve women. If you know how to inspire and appreciate them, you can bring out the best in them.
4) You can turn it into a project to be repaired.
Let’s face it. Nobody likes to have a project to fix. Nothing is more attractive than being with someone who is constantly trying to change you.
While it’s okay to inspire someone to become a better person, if you want to change how someone looks or what their core personality traits are, you’re not respecting that person’s essence.
People love to be seen, heard, loved, and appreciated for who they are. If you have a huge list of things you don’t like about him and you keep complaining, trampling, harassing, or nagging at him for a change, I have a question for you, why are you even with someone you don’t like? Don’t you like what it is?
A happy relationship is about unconditional love, acceptance, and admiration for someone for who they are and not turning it into a project to be fixed.
Related: 4 Negative Behaviors That May Be Making You Sick
5) You are ungrateful and very grateful for what your partner does for you.
The last big turn in relationships is when the other person is ungrateful or ungrateful for the things their partner does for them.
If you are a woman who feels entitled and believes your man owes you and will continue to demand things from her, without showing the slightest bit of appreciation or gratitude for what you do, then you do. One of the biggest mistakes in relationships.
If someone gives you their time and undivided attention and tries to make you feel loved and special, it is because they love you and care about you. He doesn’t owe you anything.
A relationship works based on reciprocity, if you appreciate someone for the little things they do for you, they will be inspired to do more and not feel like all their efforts are wasted.
6) You do not own or share your gifts.
Masculine and feminine energy are wired differently and have different gifts to share. Masculine energy is wired to protect and provide and this is their innate talent. Feminine energy is wired to nourish and take care of others, and this is their innate talent.
The relationship works well when both sexes acknowledge and own their talents and share them openly and freely.
Love is giving, not just taking. When you are only thinking about what you can take out of a relationship and not offering anything of value in return, you are coming from a lacking mindset that will not feel loved and will not make the other person feel loved from that place where you are lacking.
It will just be a codependent relationship filled with constant drama, blame, and fights. If you want to build a happy and successful relationship, you need to fully realize your talents and own them. Also, discover your partner’s love language to see if they will appreciate the gifts you give.
7) You create drama to get your point across.
The guys are logic freaks and take pride in being solution providers. If you express your point simply and directly, they will understand, but if you do everything and end up creating drama to get your point across, they will get frustrated.
I understand that women are more emotionally attached, but it helps to take time out when you’re emotionally charged.
It is always wiser to process your feelings on your own and then share your thoughts with your partner in a logical way rather than just blurting out whatever is going on in your head in the heat of the moment.
Creating drama may give you short-term relief from your inner pain, but trust me it will only create bitterness and resentment in your relationship in the long run.
Related: How To Rewire Your Brain And Build Greater Connection In Relationships
8) You don’t build intimacy or trust.
Guys will only consider you a long-term prospect if you build confidence in them that you have their true interests at heart and that you support them.
Men want to be inspired to act as the hero in their life. And they will do everything they can to protect and provide for you if they believe that you also truly have his best interest. Men also cling to respect and honor. If you want the relationship to be beautiful, please be careful not to damage his respect or honor.
9) You try to categorize things too early.
This is one of the most common mistakes women make in relationships. They want to name things fast and try to get their men to put a ring on them after a few dates.
Men cling to freedom and go after what they want. Also, it’s basic human nature to lose interest and back off if someone throws themselves at you too quickly.
This does not mean that men do not want commitment or stability. They just want to make sure that you’re the one they can give up their freedom for and once they’re convinced, they’ll do everything they can to be with you.
So, honey, no matter how much you love him or how much you want to take things further, don’t try to rush the process, and just let things unfold organically.
Related: Why Long Lasting Relationships Require Healthy Relationship Expectations
10) You are looking for a relationship that makes you feel whole and complete.
This is again one of the most common mistakes women make in relationships. If you’re looking for a man or a relationship that makes you feel whole or complete, you’re fighting a lost cause. Love can never be a substitute for what you must be able to provide for yourself.
You have to work on your personal development and work on becoming the best version of yourself you can be, rather than chasing after the people who are trying to convince you of your love. You can only attract a healthy relationship after you do your inner work of healing and don’t come from a place of lack, fear, or insecurity.