Sometimes I address these topics more informally than others…
…this is not one of those times.
Narcissists are known for being quiet all the time while you say or do the right thing, and even that doesn’t last forever.
But there’s the other side of the coin. The side where you should never say or say what you might want to say.
Why?
Because it will never end well.
So, what are these things? Well, I’ve got 10 for you, and I’m ready to dive into them.
Now, you can say a lot…
As long as it’s what they want to hear!
You can sit around with a narcissist all day and gossip. You can leave at the end of the day thinking you’ve really made it, but the reality is that they don’t think of you that way at all.
In fact, they’ll walk out of the day thinking, “I got a lot of information from this miserable person, and they fell for my charm and my fake interest in them.”
Related : The Number One Reason Why Empaths Struggle To Let Go of Narcissists
It’s a constant false sense of security, and that’s what makes people feel so disappointed when they realize it was all a big lie.
As long as that’s what they want to hear!
You can sit with a narcissist all day and gossip with them. You may leave at the end of that day thinking that you’ve really made it, but the reality is that they don’t think that way about you at all.
In fact, they’ll walk out of that day thinking, “I got so much information from this miserable person, and they fell for my charm and my fake interest in them.”
It’s a constant false sense of security, and that’s what makes people feel so disappointed when they realize it was all a big lie.
As long as that’s what they want to hear!
You can sit with a narcissist all day and gossip with them. You may leave at the end of that day thinking that you’ve really made it, but the reality is that they don’t think that about you at all.
In fact, they’ll walk out of that day thinking, “I got so much information from this miserable person, and they fell for my charm and fake interest in them.”
It’s a constant false sense of security, and it’s what makes people feel so disappointed when they realize it was all a big lie.
Compliance is Their Happy Place
If you’re doing what they want, they’ll be happy, even if you’re not.
The problem starts when you start saying things you should never say to a narcissist—and some of those phrases will be what the narcissist wants to hear!
Related : 8 Ways To Ruin The Narcissists Life Without Even Trying
Let’s start looking at some examples.
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
1 “I Accept Your Apology”
Accepting a narcissist’s empty apology means they automatically have permission to do whatever they did again.
Did they come home late and not tell you where they were?
What about you?
2 “You’re a narcissist!”
Oh. I can hear a pin drop right now, even as I write these words.
Telling a narcissist that they’re a narcissist will cause a lot of trouble, and it’ll never be the same again.
Narcissists thrive all the time while you ignore their games, but the moment you cling to reality – there’s no turning back.
You can expect to completely eliminate the narcissist from your life if you tell them they’re a narcissist.
They’ll know they can’t control you anymore, and they’ll see you as useless to them. They may even resort to denial, or project your thoughts onto you, making you seem like the toxic person.
Whatever happens – it won’t be pretty.
3 “I know your game”
Predicting what a narcissist will do next means you’ve spent a lot of time studying them and learning how they work.
If you were to pass this on to the narcissist, they’d find it hard to continue doing what they used to get away with.
Related ! The Hard Truth: Why You Stay in an Abusive Relationship
From there – you can expect him to up his game significantly, and change his course to become an even more destructive force.
- “You’re insecure underneath it all”
Oh.
Narcissists have very fragile egos, and I don’t think any of them would tolerate you being direct and honest with them. This is a case of the pain of honesty, and discovering a narcissist’s insecurities is one thing.
And telling them what you’re thinking is another thing entirely.
This statement not only shows that you’ve understood what’s going on in their mind, but also that you’re willing to take the next step and tell them.
- “You don’t love me”
Telling a narcissist that you don’t love me does a number of things – and not all of them have to do with him.
First of all, you’re giving him complete control over his feelings for you. Yes, you’re probably right.
He doesn’t love you. But it’s not because of anything you’ve done wrong. Knowing that you are upset with their treatment of you makes them feel somewhat proud that they are able to successfully manipulate you.
- “I’m going to tell everyone what I did”
Well, if you’re going to do that, let me prepare you for dire consequences.
It’s not going to be pleasant, but I think you already know this.
When a narcissist feels threatened, they react. When they’re threatened, they react even more.
Related : 16 Lines Straight out of the Narcissist Playbook
This could be through anger, denial, the silent treatment, starting a smear campaign about you, or getting rid of you entirely. Whatever happens – there will be a punishment.
Finding out is their worst nightmare.
- “It’s my fault”
No!
This is a constant reminder that I have to give you all repeatedly.
It’s not your fault.
Narcissistic abuse is the abuser’s fault, and that’s all there is to it.
Never give your power to a narcissist in this way. Ever.
- “You’re right”
Can I yell NO again?!
In what world are narcissists right?
There are two options.
The first is when they convince you that they’re right.
The other way is to tell them they’re right just to keep the peace.
Neither of them are right.
Related : 12 Phrases To Shut Down Gaslighting
Don’t be fooled into thinking that you have to tell them anything to keep the conflict low!
- “Whatever you want”
This is the point where the victim is so eager to please the narcissist that they will literally say anything to get it.
Whatever you want is another phrase that gives the narcissist control.
Not only can you not blame them if things go wrong (you told them so, remember?), you also don’t get a say because that wasn’t your original preference.
Whatever you want is exactly what the narcissist wants.
- “I love you no matter what”
If that’s not permission to treat you the way they want, without consequences or boundaries to protect you, then I don’t know what is.
Never tell a narcissist that you’ll love them no matter what they say or do, or how they treat you.
Not only is this the worst way to give your heart to someone, it shows that you have no real morals when it comes to forgiveness.
It’s something you should really think about the next time you decide to let your guard down for someone who doesn’t think highly of you in return.
