It can be difficult to get over someone who isn’t right for you, especially when you don’t want to face the feelings of losing someone you care about.
So, how do you get over a relationship with someone wrong for you?
Are you preventing yourself from getting over a toxic relationship?
Maybe you keep focusing on all the good times and forget about all the bad because you don’t want to admit it’s over.
You may be holding out false hope or looking for the good in them despite their bad behavior towards you. In this way, it can be difficult to know how to stop holding on to an unhealthy relationship.
You can get addicted to the dopamine from the love bombing and ignore your gut telling you something is wrong when you confuse it with the butterflies in your stomach.
Related: 5 Tips For Dating Again After Leaving A Toxic Relationship
You can fall in love with a person’s fantasy by projecting your hopes and unmet needs onto them.
But it all falls apart when the person no longer becomes what you built in your head.
You see what you want to see in a person and hold on to what you want to believe, even though it may not be what is happening.
Sometimes, it’s hard to let go of the people you thought you were, once you see their true colors.
Related: 10 Signs You — Not Him — Are The Toxic One In The Relationship
You may find it difficult to acknowledge some basic truths about your relationship because you cling to the hope that it can be changed.
When the truth hurts, you don’t want to accept it. What could be worse is losing the person you thought you were when that’s not who you are, after all.
It’s easy to bury your head in the sand and refuse to accept what’s wrong in your relationship, so as not to walk away from the person who hurt you.
You don’t want to admit how you feel because you don’t want to accept that the relationship is over.
Here are 12 ways to get over a relationship with someone toxic to you.
- Stop trying to make things work.
Stop trying to fix someone if they can’t give you what you need.
Related: 6 Signs You Have A Toxic Relationship With Your Mom
- Accept the truth.
This will allow you to let go of expecting something you don’t get.
- Be honest with the situation.
Acknowledge the fact that this relationship is over.
- Cut off all communications.
You need to break the bond.
Related: 5 Early Warning Signs Of The Most Toxic Relationships
- Do not dwell.
Get closure by accepting why the relationship ended without dwelling on it.
- Process your feelings.
You will feel the pain of letting go but it will be worth it.
- Get rid of fantasy.
Now you are clinging to false hope and expecting things to be the way you want them to be. It’s time to let go.
- Remember the costs.
Whenever you want to get them back, remind yourself how this relationship affected your life and what it cost you.
Related: Why Optimistic Women Stay Trapped In Toxic Relationships
- Stop projecting your unmet needs onto them.
It’s time to heal those parts of yourself.
- Understand the unhealed part of you that attracted you to this person.
You can do this by engaging in therapy to unlearn behavior patterns to stop attracting toxic relationships.
- Focus on rebuilding yourself and giving yourself what you need.
This allows you to become the person you want to attract and ultimately attract someone who aligns with who you are.
- Learn how to set boundaries.
Stop giving yourself away in relationships so you don’t neglect your own needs.
Related: 6 Toxic Relationship Behaviors Most Couples Think Are Normal
It’s easy to stay stuck in anger, which can prevent you from getting over someone bad for you. Therapy can help you heal so you can feel your feelings and release the pain, so you can move on from a relationship that was bad for you.
You can learn how to move on from a toxic relationship if you abandon patterns of tolerating unwanted behavior and thus stop preventing yourself from getting the love you want.
You can heal when you work on the parts of yourself that you have denied that are afraid of being rejected or that are looking for love to feel good enough.
Related: The Difficult Truth About Moving On From A Toxic Relationship