There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.
Frustratingly, many men in today’s society maintain a certain amount of bravado, which makes them even more seductive.
Unfortunately, science says that many misguided women — more specifically, those who want to get married — fall in love with narcissistic men.
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Carrie Haslam and Tamara Montrose of Hartpury College in England conducted a 2015 study of 146 women aged 18 to 28.
76% said they were looking forward to getting married, while 24% said they did not want to get married. The women were then asked to report the number of men they had been intimate with in past years: 52% said they had zero to five previous partners, while 7.5% reported they had 21 or more partners.
Next, the women were asked questions related to attraction and narcissism.
They were each asked to rate the statements on a scale of one to five in an “agree/disagree” format, and some questions were taken into account: “Confidence in a man is more seductive than humility”; “Masculine vanity is an attractive trait.” “I’m attracted to men who enjoy being the center of attention.”
While these qualities may sound good on paper, they can be very different when they occur in a real relationship, so it is not immediately obvious that these qualities are not good.
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They found that women more frequently pursued self-absorbed men after bad experiences. (Ah, we’ve all been there before.) Although we usually equate this with youth and naivety, the study found that the more experience these women gained in relationships, the more attracted to narcissistic behavior they became. Yikes!
The study also showed that women who wanted to marry were more likely to respond positively to statements that were parallel to narcissistic traits, such as: “I am attracted to a man who shows authority” or “A man who uses manipulation to influence his success.” Attractive at work.”
The researchers found no significant differences between women who reported having more or fewer romantic partners. The only real difference: Those who had been with more men, specifically 21 or more previous partners, were most attracted to narcissistic males, compared to those who had zero to 10 previous partners.
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What is the scientific reason for this? The findings suggest that male narcissists are viewed as high-status figures who have “the ability to obtain resources, are entertaining, and are confident.” These traits are attractive to females in relationship contexts, the researchers wrote.
If you think you may be suffering from depression or anxiety as a result of ongoing emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist, you are not alone.
