Do you know that familiar whirlwind of a narcissist’s rage and impulsive behavior? Do you feel like you’re pausing or constantly second-guessing yourself because you’re afraid of their response? Do you seem to be being punished – even if you’re not sure what you did wrong?

Let’s be honest. Dealing with a narcissist can be stressful.

Narcissistic rage occurs when the narcissist’s facade is cracked. Because the narcissist has such a fragile ego, almost anything can disrupt it. But most of the time, they reserve their anger for the people they love most — spouses, children, and close friends.

Understanding narcissistic anger

Narcissistic anger appears when the narcissist does not get what he wants. But their rage is not the same as the garden-variety rage. Everyone gets angry, but the narcissist’s reaction to these feelings is much more subtle.

Their anger occurs in response to a narcissistic injury. The narcissistic injury occurs when the narcissist feels exposed. Because exposure leads to extreme vulnerability, the narcissist only knows how to react in one way: with anger and spite.

They need to feel strong and in control and will do whatever they can to regain their balance when they feel off balance.

The goal of anger is not simply to displace feelings. It’s to Hurt You – The narcissist is seeking revenge and wants you to feel guilty, upset, or confused for insulting them.

What triggers narcissistic anger?

Sometimes, the narcissist’s trigger is obvious. For example, you may realize how threatened they feel in an argument or when they don’t get an important promotion.

Other times, the narcissistic rage seems to come out of nowhere. Something happened, but the narcissist may be withholding his or her feelings to make you feel hurt or confused.

Let’s take a look at some common narcissistic triggers.

Real or perceived criticism

Any negative feedback can cause the narcissist to spiral downwards quickly. Criticism is synonymous with rejection, and rejection deals a heavy blow to the narcissist’s ego.

Even if someone is trying to be helpful or constructive, the narcissist will not see it that way. They often view the behavior as a vicious attack against their personality.

Another person receiving attention

As you know, narcissists love to be the center of attention. They want to have the spotlight on them at all times.

When someone (or something else) has the stage, they feel envious, angry, and insecure. They will often react by trying to sabotage the other person, put them down, or act rudely to ensure that they take care of themselves.

The need for compatibility

Narcissists want to do things their way. They have a distinct sense of entitlement over others, assuming that basic laws do not apply to them.

In cases where they have to comply with certain policies, they often whine, complain, insult, or throw other forms of tantrums. They may also keep trying to work their way up to get special treatment.

Confrontation or accountability

Nothing angers a narcissist more than being told how their actions affect others. At a minimum, they expect validation. But most of the time, they also expect excessive adoration and praise.

If confronted, the narcissist will often overreact – denial, violence, rationalization – they will grab any readily available defense mechanisms.

Being told no

Boundaries are a surefire way to stir up a narcissist’s rage. “No” sounds like an outright refusal, and the narcissist often feels inconceivable.

If someone doesn’t enable their behavior, it sets off a chain reaction of feeling betrayed and disrespected. To compensate for these feelings, the narcissist feels the need to attack.

Feelings of inferiority

Have you ever wondered why most narcissists don’t want to try new things? This is because they want to be the masters – they want guaranteed results for a successful performance.

You can tell the narcissist’s anger by his reaction to failure or loss. Often, they will blame something or someone else for their misfortune. Or they will deny you care about their performance in the first place.

Who is the most influential?

Have you ever wondered how a narcissist gets away with such outrageous behavior? There is a good chance that others will have no idea of their true selves!

Unfortunately, when it comes to narcissistic rage, loved ones take the biggest beating.

Skilled narcissists know how to mask their obnoxious behavior to manipulate others. They block, restrict, and put up a false front when needed. It is part of their survival strategy. This is why many narcissists are so likable and attractive.

After all, if they were being cruel all the time, they wouldn’t form any relationships. Therefore, they tend to act on their best behavior to attract people.

This explains why narcissists can appear so cute and charming to the outside world — while being so vicious to you. They know you’re still stuck – they know you seem to have accepted their behavior.

In severe cases, the narcissistic rage is so obvious that everyone notices it. But this is more an exception than an immutable rule. Again, skilled narcissists know how to craft a desirable persona and maintain good standing within their communities.

What does narcissistic rage look like?

Narcissistic rage can come in many different flavors. Some narcissists react with the same rage after each injury. Others change it because they want to keep you guessing and alert. They may use different approaches depending on the person or situation.

bang

In the most severe cases, the narcissist becomes explosive and volatile. They may attack another person emotionally or physically. The goal here is clear: they want to inflict pain by taking it away from themselves.

This type of narcissist is always dangerous. They can be capable of serious harm, and because their temperaments can be so moody, you’ll never know if you’ll get in their way.