Before delving into why you don’t love a narcissist, I wanted to mention that some of the opinions expressed may or may not be psychologically proven. After years of first-hand experience dealing with people with narcissistic personality disorder; however, these assertions are based in part on my reasoning and conclusions. I consider these deductions necessary in healing from narcissistic abuse and anxiety about dependence on others.

The beginning

The beginning of any romantic relationship with a narcissist is usually a whirlwind. Maybe a narcissist approached you; you felt an undeniable chemistry, and suddenly you were an item of some kind. While things before meeting a narcissist were monotonous and routine, life has a new intensity and vitality. You feel alive and electric in a way that you didn’t have before; you wonder how you existed even before this person entered your life.

In a relationship

Days and weeks pass, and you indisputably love this person. You are so taken away by the narcissist that you exist in a trance-like state and believe that you are living too much in your Omnipotent days. It doesn’t take long before you start neglecting all other aspects of your life and yourself, such as family and friend relationships, career, and physical health. However, you are so under the spell of a narcissist that you fail to realize your self-destructive ways.

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If anyone tries to help and intervene, you are pushing this person away and telling him that he does not understand the love you have. You don’t think for a minute that you might be engaged in a toxic relationship or one of the other narcissist’s victims.

Dissonance

As much as you know that you love a narcissist like no one before, you sometimes wonder why. You find yourself looking at the narcissist and wondering if you are physically attracted to him in moments. Objectively speaking, they are probably unlike any other ex that you had appearance-wise.

Perhaps the relationship has developed, but the narcissist’s feelings for you have somehow not developed. The narcissist is now becoming increasingly angry at you and shows it in many ways. He or she is now unable to listen to anything you have to say. You are interrupted in the middle of a sentence, dismissed, or ridiculed. Other times, the narcissist attacks you with such stinging anger for something so simple that you are left stunned.

Time has passed, and you are not the person you were before. While you used to be able, confident, and relatively calm, now you have turned into a trembling wreck. Some days you wake up in tears, and there is a growing feeling of sadness and darkness. With incredibly high anxiety levels, you have developed a panic attack problem. Your physical health is in a deplorable state, with unexplained abundant serious symptoms. Welcome to life as one of the victims of narcissism.

As much as you know that you love a narcissist unconditionally, things don’t add up. Your codependency anxiety is off the scale. You feel empty, numb, and extremely unhappy. All the characteristics that you used to be proud of have disappeared; your soul seems to have died, and your glow is gone.

Can a narcissist love? The truth

People with narcissistic personality disorder have a serious case of stunted growth. The true self of a narcissist usually ceases to develop under the age of five. With no real personality to lean on, the ego took possession of itself, evolving into the monstrous false self. This is the fake personality that a narcissist presents to the world.

Where the narcissist’s true self and soul once existed is now a sinful black hole. This void feels like an extermination of the narcissist, and he or she seeks to fill it by any means possible, a place where the narcissist’s victims enter.

In healthy relationships, both people own and work through the true self, which they love unconditionally and accept flaws. Psychologically healthy people feel a degree of satisfaction and warmth on their own, they do not necessarily need to rely on others to be happy.

When a romantic interest meets a narcissist, something unusual happens. His or her love pours into the space of the narcissist. The inner emptiness of a narcissist is unfathomable, and no amount of love will be able to fill it. For the first time in your life, most likely, you have tested your essence and ability to love. Loving a narcissist is intoxicating, and you feel drunk on Love. In your mind, the intense feelings you feel have resulted because the narcissist loves you too. You have convinced yourself that you share a unique special bond. Unfortunately, in reality, you are just another one of the victims of narcissists, who suffer from codependency anxiety and who have failed the traumatic bonding test.

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What she didn’t realize at the time was that all the deep feelings of love she feels have come from one place – you. I’ve been high on your love and no one else’s. While it seemed, as if the narcissist once loved you, he or she was reflecting your love on you. Your unconditional love may have calmed the narcissist, but only temporarily. This realization that you don’t like a narcissist is the absolute freedom you need.

When the relationship ends, you will probably feel disconnected from your being and emotions for a while. The degree of love that has flowed into the narcissist’s void leaves you with almost nothing, incurring severe psychological suffering as a result. ‘Loving’ a narcissist is a hellish traumatic bonding test.

Recovery from dependence anxiety on others

Being involved with a narcissist is a very negative experience. You are far from being alone if you constantly ask yourself and then spend hours discussing Can a narcissist loves you. Most people feel sad and angry because they accept that you don’t like the narcissist after all and you were manipulated in the relationship. However, over time, it is necessary to look at what we can gain from the ordeal. The narcissist teaches us that we have an infinite capacity for Love, far beyond anything we initially realize. Now it is the goal of life to start directing this love back to one person – you.