Have you ever been left wondering why a narcissist chose you? Do you sometimes feel unlucky when you get involved with such a character? You curiously notice how the narcissist surpasses others while you seem to be a deliberate target. Sometimes, it is endlessly frustrating to see others going through a narcissist-free life while being caught in the crossfire of someone else’s psychological warfare battle.
The answer to this post question is complex and multifaceted but crucial to understanding and overcoming the harmful effects of the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle. Don’t be left feeling like a victim and asking yourself for many years to come, why did the narcissist choose me?’
You made a narcissist look good
The first point is perhaps the most obvious and direct answer to why a narcissist chose me; however, narcissists take this idea to a whole new level. While the average neurotic person is often physically attracted to someone before developing a deeper emotional connection, the narcissist sees beauty in another person as a tool they can use for themselves.
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If the narcissist’s partner is stereotypically good-looking, the narcissist will draw increased attention but use it to promote his false self. In the narcissist’s mind, everything and everyone flows to and from themselves. People with narcissistic personality disorder do not see you in very literal terms.
Partners who have a certain social status, wealth, or achievements will also be looked at to make the narcissist look good. In a nutshell, you have something that a narcissist wants to use to manage their FA Ashes. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for these highly desirable qualities to become a source of narcissistic envy, and you start picking up signs that the narcissist is over with you.
You have great sympathy
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are emotionally disabled. Inside every narcissist lies an insatiable emptiness. Narcissists go through life in survival mode, trying to fill this emptiness at all costs. If the narcissist fails to fill the void, he experiences severe mental distress.
When a narcissist encounters someone with great empathy, they discover it to be emotionally beneficial to their gains. Individuals with high empathy are usually emotionally strong, which is ideal for the narcissist, who enjoys absorbing this infinite source of energy for himself or herself.
People with high empathy tend to give the narcissist one chance after another. They can understand that the narcissist’s behavior comes from an infected place, which makes them feel great empathy for the person with narcissistic personality disorder. Unfortunately, this outpouring of empathy exists only at the expense of a loving individual, who, more often than not, is chasing an imaginary form of unconditional love.
You have bad boundaries
While it is sometimes difficult to accept, this is one of the reasons a narcissist chooses you. Do you tend to feel responsible for the feelings and actions of others? Do you continue to carry this burden, even after it has become clear that the other person will never take ownership of their well-being?
Perhaps you are attracted to others who, in your opinion, need to be fixed; you are focused on loving this person at the expense of your well-being.
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You find it difficult to say no to others, even when deep down you know that you should. Somehow, it seems that you are providing endless services to others, which are often not returned.
If you recognize these behaviors in yourself, chances are you lack personal boundaries, which makes you an ideal target for the narcissist. Once you start developing healthy personal boundaries, you won’t be able to miss the signs that a narcissist pursues with you or when someone else uses you.
I reflected on the false self
Now it’s time to stop lamenting the question of why the narcissist chose me and accept the role that I played albeit unconsciously. Narcissists can usually tell in the first place about meeting another person whether they have bought the false self or not. A narcissist will be able to know if he charms you. Anyone who does not fall victim to the fake charm of a narcissist may find himself on the receiving end of toxic narcissistic envy.
Why a narcissist chose you becomes clear if you adored a narcissist and showered them with compliments from the very beginning. Praise is like oxygen for the narcissist who lives to seek it. Did you initially feel lucky that you met the narcissist? If you put the narcissist on a pedestal, you have effectively told the narcissist that they are great; you have provided the narcissist with the ultimate medicine. Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder will never say no to getting a supply fix.
Narcissists are woefully empty and have no real identity or health problem to rely on to get through life. The person they present to the world is a mask of a false self and a whole work of imagination and imagination. All individuals suffering from this disease are aware of this fact, even if only at a subconscious level. For the sake of their survival, narcissists scramble to find identity in everything they can, be it people, material possessions, or social status.
You represent nothing more than a mirror for the narcissist, who sees only himself and positive or negative thinking returns to them. Empaths make especially good mirrors because they tend to be reflected by default and often fight personal identity issues. If you are still wondering, why did the narcissist choose me?’You can stop the guessing game. By using their cold empathy, the narcissists felt from the start that they would make a brilliant reflector in their quest to save themselves from a dark, destructive soul.
The narcissist saw himself or herself in you
The last point in answering the question of why a narcissist chose you can be divisive. This post is going to address that, however, no matter how controversial.
There is an argument that one of the reasons a narcissist chooses you is because they saw him or herself in your being. All pathologically narcissistic people are very sensitive but only to themselves. Therefore, it is possible to think that a narcissist is born a hypersensitive person, in the same way as an individual with great empathy is born. Unfortunately for the narcissist, this personality quality was not perceived as positive or helpful and was therefore rejected and shut down. The narcissist felt a lot, which was perceived as painful and had only negative repercussions.
Unfortunately for the narcissist, this attempt to shut down all emotions has failed to some extent. The narcissist’s high sensitivity still exists to a greater extent, but depriving him of the opportunity to develop into a strength of character, he is now unable to adapt. In empathy, a very sensitive person, a narcissist sees what his true self may once become.
