Abusers and perpetrators are incredibly sneaky people. They are extremely skilled manipulators and often can alter reality in a way that suits them best.

Simply put, DARVO is a tactic commonly used by narcissists and gas users. It is one of their ways of taking responsibility for their mistakes from themselves.

However, they don’t just do that, and they don’t stop there. Instead, they use this technique to turn the tables and make you feel like you are the guilty party.

They try to change your situation so that they end up casting you as the aggressor, while they assume the role of the victim.

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At first glance, you might wonder how this is possible. You might think you’ll notice DARVO on the first try.

However, things are much more complicated than that. In reality, all of this is just part of a larger brainwashing process that the narcissistic abuser performs on his victim.

Every victim must be aware of DARVO. The more you understand, the more successful you will be in disarming your attacker.

Denies

First comes the complete denial of their words and actions. You see, an abuser will never directly admit that he or she has hurt you.

This is especially the case with emotional violence. After all, he didn’t hit you, and the bruises on your heart are invisible.

Therefore, he or she will try to convince you that the abuse never happened. He will keep telling you that you are imagining things or that you are overreacting.

The truth is that this man is counting on your emotional instability. He knows very well that you suffer from the insecurities and self-doubts that he has already planted in you.

He is sure that you will trust him more than you trust yourself.

If that doesn’t work, he will try to accuse you of being too weak, too sensitive, and easily offended.

In either case, your abuser does not accept responsibility for his behavior. He dismisses your accusations, which makes you feel even worse.

attacks

The next step consists of attacking you. Your attacker acts as if he is upset by your accusations, and begins insulting and assaulting you because you are trying to hold him responsible for his behavior.

And before you know it, the focus is shifted. She no longer argued about his abuse, And now your accusations have become the main issue.

So you end up apologizing for criticizing him for his actions. You end up apologizing for not having the courage to notice that he’s not treating you the way you deserve.

The abuser makes sure that your life will turn into a nightmare from the moment you accuse him of his mistakes.

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He makes such a fuss about it that it never occurs to him to hold him responsible for anything again.

After all, this is exactly what he wanted from the beginning; The green light to continue abusing him while you stay silent about it.

The opposite of the victim and the aggressor

At this point, your positions are completely reversed. You don’t know how it happened right before your eyes, but in this way, this toxic manipulator began to treat you as his abuser.

For example, when you deal with an unfaithful partner, they will accuse you of not giving them enough attention, so they are not to blame for having an affair; He is a victim of your emotional neglect.

He confuses you so much that you end up feeling guilty for his mistakes. He uses victim blaming, shifting all the responsibility onto you.