Have you ever experienced a narcissistic stare? Perhaps they stare intensely while you’re talking, or their eyes follow you around the room for no apparent reason, or they stare at you expectantly, as if you’re supposed to say something?

No matter the situation, a narcissist’s stare is uncomfortable and awkward. This begs the question: Why do narcissists stare at people?

As you might expect, narcissists stare for their own benefit. Here are some of the benefits narcissists gain from staring at people…

Power Look

The eyes are often called the “windows to the soul” for good reason. They convey a wealth of information, perhaps more than words.

For most of us, eye contact is a natural part of conversation. It establishes trust, demonstrates interest, and creates a sense of connection. But for narcissists, eye contact isn’t about connection, it’s about control.

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Staring is a way narcissists assert dominance. When they stare at someone, they aim to make themselves feel seen, rather than seeing the other person. This can feel overwhelming and frightening when you’re on the receiving end.

When narcissists stare, they’re looking for reactions, testing whether their gaze is intimidating. If it is, they know they have a weapon they can use to gain control.

To Get The Love In Your Pain

If a narcissist is hurting or embarrassing you, they may stare to enjoy your pain, especially if they’re a malignant narcissist.

These narcissists enjoy watching people suffer. So, they stare to absorb every ounce of pain and sadness that appears on your face, to get what they want.

Validation

Narcissists need near-constant validation to feed their fragile sense of self-worth. Staring is one way to get validation. It’s like they’re saying, “Look at me. I’m here. Pay attention.”

In social situations, narcissists may stare to force acknowledgment. This can be achieved through eye contact or uncomfortable reactions. Either way, the narcissist gets the recognition they crave.

Copying

Narcissists are known for imitating others to steal their personality traits. They copy other people’s words and behaviors and use them as their own.

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Narcissists struggle to act “normally” due to their disturbed personalities. Therefore, they may stare to learn from you, to see how you react in certain situations. They can then mimic these behaviors, creating the impression that they are normal empaths.

Lack_of_Social_Skills

Many narcissists lack social skills. This is largely because they are more focused on their inner world than on others. As a result, they don’t learn as much as they would if their attention were directed outward.

They may therefore feel socially awkward and resort to staring because they don’t know what to do in certain social situations. They freeze in place as they try to think of what to do next.

To Study Your Weaknesses

Narcissists may stare at you to assess you. They look for weaknesses in your body language and behavior. They may test you, then stare at you to gauge your reactions to their behaviors. This way, they know which tactics to use in the future.

For example, a narcissist may suddenly have a fit of anger. They then stare at you to gauge your reaction.

If you appear fearful, they learn they can do this to push you onto the defensive. But if you handle it calmly, they’ll look for another tactic.

So instead, they may tell you a sad story. If you appear upset and want to help, they know they can control you by playing the victim and appealing to your sympathy.

Flirting

Most narcissists value sexual appreciation, so they may stare to attract attention.

Staring can be a subtle form of flirting, allowing narcissists to get down to business without risking rejection. It’s a perfect tactic for many.

Narcissists may also stare subtly to flirt in front of their partner, as it’s hard to get criticized for simply looking at someone a little longer than usual.

If you criticize them, you’re likely to be accused of being crazy and jealous, which spares them responsibility and prevents you from criticizing them for this in the future.

Making Others Uncomfortable

Some narcissists stare because they enjoy making others feel uncomfortable, which feeds their need for control and superiority.

So they may stare at someone to intentionally upset them and subtly assert their dominance. If they can make someone squirm, they’ve won.

Related : Narcissist Bread Crumbing

For some narcissists, the longer they stare, the more powerful they feel. Like two boxers in a silent game of dominance, the first to look away loses.

Narcissists may also stare when you’re performing difficult tasks, because they know it increases the pressure on you. They enjoy watching you wilt under the pressure, which increases their sense of power and dominance.

The Gaze At Tool Of Manipulation

Narcissists are often skilled at manipulation. Staring may be another tactic in their arsenal.

Narcissists know that some people are intimidated by being stared at. So they may use it to instill fear. A frightened person is more likely to do what they’re told.

The gaze may also be used as punishment. So, if someone does something the narcissist doesn’t approve of, they may be viewed with a cold stare.

This gaze may also be used in advance to warn the person not to follow instructions and behave according to their expectations, especially when they are in the company of those they want to impress.

To_Elicit_A_Reaction

Narcissists love drama, so they may stare to provoke a reaction.

This reaction may be irritation, or even a retaliatory rage.

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In both cases, the narcissist wins. They have “forced” someone to react, making them feel powerful and in control. They also have their full attention, which is valuable to attention-hungry narcissists.

Conclusion

Narcissists stare at people to gain dominance, attract attention, and make people feel uncomfortable. It’s a form of control, manipulation, and a quest for validation, all rolled into one.

Under the guise of bragging, narcissists are insecure. They have fragile egos and constantly seek self-affirmation to maintain their self-esteem. Staring may be a reflection of this inner turmoil, a way to assert themselves and feel more comfortable with themselves.

At the same time, narcissists have a distorted sense of reality. They believe they are above others, deserving of attention and admiration. They feel special, so they can demand attention from others without regard for their own feelings.

Above all, narcissists view people as commodities to be used, rather than as flesh-and-blood human beings. As such, they are completely unaware of their own humanity.

Instead, the narcissistic gaze is another button to be pressed to control a commodity. This allows them to dominate, control, and exploit people for their own personal gain.