These days, simple tasks have become complicated. Face masks, gloves, and sanitizer dispensers fill our coat pockets or line our closet shelves. And any inconvenience caused by these cumbersome new accessories is nothing compared to catching or spreading the coronavirus. (See “How to Reduce Your Coronavirus Anxiety.”)

With all the information and warnings about preventing the spread of COVID-19, why are some people still blatantly ignoring the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s recommendations?

The Narcissist in Your Community

Recently, I was struggling to read my shopping list as I pushed a shopping cart through a crowded grocery store. The mask covering my nose and mouth was hot and itchy, my glasses were fogging up, and I was trying my best to practice social distancing in the narrow aisles crowded with anxious shoppers.

That’s when I spotted a classic narcissist coming through the crowd. Without a nose or mouth covering, he mindlessly bumps into other shoppers and weaves through the crowds, shouting into his cell phone:

“No, I don’t want to see this movie… Al Pacino is old, he’s depressing. We’ll talk about it tonight… Everyone’s coming around 7. Whatever you bought me, I hope you didn’t wrap it in that shiny paper you love so much.”

That’s right, he was not only ignoring all health recommendations, but he was also throwing himself a birthday party. This is what quarantine is all about.

Groupthink is impossible for narcissists

The coronavirus is spreading rapidly, and depending on your age and health, it can be deadly. To protect the most vulnerable, we’ve all had to adapt to new social norms. We’ve changed our schedules, adjusted our behaviors, and adjusted our lifestyles. By group thinking, we’re protecting ourselves and each other from COVID-19.

Narcissists never think collectively. They lack empathy, have an absolute view of themselves, and like to believe that they are exempt from societal norms. Is it any wonder that they ignore the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s recommendations?

Narcissists are emotionally immature

No matter how smart they are, narcissists remain emotionally immature. Like children or teenagers, they have a hard time putting the needs of others before their own. No matter how many times you try to educate them about the power of empathy or altruism, such lessons never stick. Narcissism is an “insight-free” zone. A therapist who has worked with narcissists will tell you how little progress they make in helping them form healthy relationships.

But narcissists aren’t always easy to spot. They can be very engaging. They can be charming, have a sense of humor, and are extremely entertaining. Many celebrities, politicians, and highly successful business leaders likely meet the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. So what’s the problem?

You don’t want your best friend, relative, or boss to be a narcissist. They’re likely to abandon you when you’re in need, turn against you when you doubt them or you doubt them, and ignore you when you’re hurting. And when a narcissist isn’t the center of attention, the warm glow of friendship quickly fades.

NarcissistTest

After spending some time with someone you suspect is a narcissist, ask yourself:

Do they drain my energy and leave me feeling emotionally drained?

Are they self-absorbed, constantly seeking praise and attention?

Do they distort facts to feed their ego?

Are they obsessed with their image?

Are they only interested in me because they want something?

If you answered yes to three or more of these questions, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists can be more than just annoying; in the age of coronavirus, they can be a health risk, too.