Although narcissists act superior, it’s common for them to play the victim, especially if they are covert narcissists.

Playing the victim serves narcissists well for many reasons. Some are obvious, some are less so. Here’s what narcissists gain from playing the victim…

I Am Special

Narcissists believe they are special. They may brag about their wealth, success, etc. They may also brag about illness, poverty, and other unfortunate situations. “I’m sicker than you.”

Many narcissists I know sometimes seem to want to be sick. One of them often asked me, “Do I look sick?” and was pleased if I said yes. But he wasn’t so pleased if I said he looked fine!

I’ve noticed that narcissists hate it when others are sick. That’s their domain! They may appear angry, and they are often hostile. Sometimes they act as if they can’t believe you’re sick, or they claim they’re probably sicker than you. Yes, even narcissists compete over who is sicker!

This is because they feel threatened. Your illness threatens their own status. They want to be the center of attention. They want everyone to gather around them and say, “Poor me.”

Method_of_Control

Narcissists often play the victim to control people. They know that if people feel sorry for them, they will do something for them.

The most common example is when they play on mental or physical illness to get attention. “You need to come see me right now. I’m feeling so down and I don’t know what to do.”

A narcissistic parent might play on old age and illness. “Won’t you help your elderly mother?”

Narcissists sense when you feel sorry for them. They will play on this to get what they want.

Narcissists Really Feel Like Victims

Narcissists often genuinely feel like victims. When something goes wrong in their lives, they don’t think about how to improve themselves.

They look at what they can blame. This is much easier on their ego than looking in the mirror.

It’s not their fault, they’re perfect!

Related : Why Narcissists Don’t Give Straight Answers

Narcissists seek to blame anything that isn’t theirs. They’re in a bad mood—and it’s your fault for making them feel that way. They work a low-paying job—no one understands their genius, because everyone else is an idiot!

Narcissists would rather blame the world than look at themselves. This prevents them from learning and growing.

Distracting Them

Narcissists also play the victim role to distract from their own behavior. They often treat others as victims, but they hide behind the shadow of being victims themselves.

For example, a narcissist may feel jealous of someone. But instead of admitting this to themselves and others, they claim that the person is jealous of them. Classic Narcissistic Projection!

Narcissists also distort the facts to make themselves victims. They may bully someone for no reason. When they respond, they play the victim. Their forgetfulness of their behavior is what sparked the conflict.

I remember a narcissist I worked with many years ago. One of them got the promotion she felt she deserved. So she waged a hate campaign for months, all the while posing as the victim.

In her version, she was the poor victim who was overlooked for the promotion. She blamed the other person for being friends with the boss.

Meanwhile, she viciously attacked the other person, ignoring them, and making her life hell.

Narcissists also play the victim to justify their behavior. They pretend to live a tough, frustrating life, expecting people to treat them well. And they often do.

Final Thoughts

There are many benefits to narcissists playing the victim. Narcissists love to blame the entire world for their failures. Their fragile egos are easy to handle. They also get special treatment.

Narcissists sometimes fall into a trap between being victims and being better than everyone else. They may boast about their wealth and success one moment, then cry poverty the next.

If you point out their inconsistencies, they will evade and work their way out of them. They want the best of both worlds. They want to be both intelligent and a victim. And if you challenge them on this, they’re likely to blame you!